Deeper Water
by MJP
Summary: [FINALLY DONE] Yuu's feelings begin to solidify for Kazuki... and over time, they begin to become more and more meaningful to her... something has to give, feelings have to spill out, and sacrifices may have to be made.
1. Prologue: Hold Back the Rain

**A/N**: Okay, it's time to get back to the good stuff. This is a little teaser to my newest project... centering around Yuu this time. I think that, like Aya—hell, like any of the characters in Comic Party short of Mizuki, Kazuki, and Taishi—she's got a lot of personality, motivations, and backstory that isn't even hinted at. There's plenty of extrapolation that can be done, so I intend to do it. 

I hope that I haven't scared too many people away with the relative tangentiality of Comic & Party: Special Dojinshi Unit to squelch out my better works.

This fanfic takes place after the anime, and in this case, The Nameless Grace has not happened, nor will it in this story's framework. As much as I'd like to write in my own AU, I felt that would be a little too egotistical and a little too tangly. I want to focus as much as I can on Yuu, and that means not worrying too much about other peoples' relationships. Maybe in the future I'll work within the Nameless Grace AU, but for now, this is after the end of the anime.

For cultural reference, a ryokan is a traditional Japanese inn. You can google it if you want to learn more, but I would basically describe them as a place where people go to vacation. A ryokan is traditionally full service; dinner is served by the hosts, they do all the rolling-out of futons and such, etc. I use the term because "traditional Japanese inn" would get tired really fast.

A tsumugi is a type of kimono, less festive and formal and more meant for common around-the-house usage.

Many thanks to all the fans: Cendrillo, Marivel, Di-Gi Nyo, Umidori, and hopefully all the new people who took the time to read this!

On with the show!

* * *

**Deeper Water**

_Prologue: Hold Back the Rain_

**December 30th, 200X  
****Outside of Kobe  
****5:47 PM**

"Attention all passengers, attention all passengers. We will be arriving at Kobe Station in approximately five minutes. Please be careful when entering and exiting train cars. Thank you for riding the JR Tokaido Shinkansen line."

A pair of brown eyes flashed open as the speaker on the bullet train announced the station, followed by some passengers shuffling to the overhead compartments for their luggage. Stretching her arms from her brief nap, Yuu Inagawa slid over to the empty aisle seat from her own window seat.

_It's been too long..._ she thought, looking out at the bustling city as the shinkansen entered into a long curve. It was already dark in the wintry night; the cold, clear air showed the sparkling city lights of Osaka fading behind the train and the lights of Kobe approaching.

The scene went dark as the train entered a tunnel, and the train began to decelerate as it approached the underground JR station for the city.

_Should I really have left Tokyo?_ Yuu thought as she smoothed down the pleats of her school uniform skirt and donned her overcoat. _It's New Year's... I really should be spending it with all my friends. I haven't been home in a while, but it's just been a busy year so far..._

Yuu put the book she had been reading into her school bag and reached up to retrieve her roll-aboard luggage. "Sketchbook, pens, notes, textbooks, underwear, toothbrush..." she said half-aloud, running through her mental checklist. "Sounds like everything..."

"Now arriving, Kobe Station. Once again, now arriving, Kobe Station."

A hiss of brakes and opening doors signaled that the bullet train had indeed arrived, and Yuu piled out with the handful of others getting off the train.

As she queued up to leave, she was distracted by a low giggle. Turning her head to look, she saw a boy and a girl—high school students from their uniforms—sitting very close to each other, smiling from whatever had just been said.

_Get a room... _

Yuu left the train when the short queue moved out, sighing with mild exasperation as she exited. Almost by reflex, she looked back at the train, seeing the back of the boy's head. From the look and placement of the girl's hands around the back of his neck, they seemed to be kissing.

_Well, maybe I'm just a little envious..._

She rolled her luggage through the station exit, swiping her prepaid rail pass across the magnetic strip at the turnstiles. Soon enough, she was on the Kobe city rail and on her way to the Seishin-Minami stop, not far from her home.

She idly sketched on the subway, having been lucky enough to find a seat in the crowded rush hour train.

_It's so strange to be home after being in Tokyo for so long..._ she thought, almost staring through her sketchbook as she just let herself draw. Circles, lines, and shapes started to take vague form on the long subway ride back to her family's home, the hot spring ryokan that had been in the Inagawa family for generations.

Her gaze drifted to a purple-haired girl in a familiar-looking school uniform. Instead of the seifuku pattern that Ichidai High, her school in Tokyo, had for their girls' uniform, these had a dark plaid skirt, navy blazer, and stately heraldic patch on the breast. With a tie to match the skirt, the Seishin District High School uniform was something highly sought after as a sophisticated mark of all the schools in Kobe.

_I haven't seen one of those in a while,_ Yuu thought. _Not since I wore one, in fact..._

Another girl wearing a Seishin uniform quietly crept up behind the purple-haired girl. "Boo!" she exclaimed, scaring her friend.

"Chiaki-chan!" the purple-haired girl said with a shock. "Don't do that!"

"Hee hee..." Chiaki-chan said, grinning. "Sorry, Maeko-chan, I just couldn't resist. Hey, you wanna come over to my house for New Year's?"

"Sure! Is anyone else coming?"

"Yeah, Miki-chan from 1-B, and all the others from our class, of course..."

_First-years..._ Yuu thought as the two girls chatted. _They just started there. They'll probably stay there, too, keeping all their old friends... sticking with their families... maybe they like that, though. Maybe they're comfortable with the way things are... staying in Kobe and on familiar turf while they're in high school._

Yuu looked down at her sketchbook. The shapes were slowly taking the form of two people, separated from a kiss by mere centimeters, one of whom had distinctive pigtails...

She slammed her sketchbook shut in a knee-jerk reaction. _No, no, no, I was not self-inserting. No way. Not into something so cheeseball..._

As her thought trailed off, though, she opened the book again... _but then again, it really would be nice... _

A few quick streaks of her pencil gave the other figure in her sketch hair, the beginnings of a boys' uniform... a slight tan to his skin, familiar well-kept hair...

_Yeah... I didn't think I'd be missing him all that much... despite how I feel..._

**Seishin-cho 2347  
Inagawa-sai Ryokan**  
**6:40 PM **

"Anyone here?" Yuu called out as she closed the front door behind her. The entrance hall of the ryokan was relatively quiet, given that her mother's and younger brother's shoes were lined up in the entranceway.

"Yuu-chan, is that you?" a voice called from around the hallway. "Oh, it's so good to have you home, dear!"

"Hi, mom!" Yuu replied, stepping out of her street shoes and leaving them pointed at the door. She hopped up from the vestibule and into her old blue house slippers, still where she had left them before making the trip to Tokyo.

Sakiko Inagawa, Yuu's mother and the hostess of the onsen, came around the corner, the same old tsumugi and bun for her hair. "Welcome home, Yuu-chan," she said, squeezing her daughter's hand. "Come, come, we've got dinner all ready. Even Shuichi-chan has been waiting."

"Hurry up! I'm hungryyyy!" a pronounced whine came from the kitchen.

"He's as mature as ever," Yuu said with a grin as she followed her mother into the kitchen. Shuichi Inagawa, Yuu's brother, was still wearing his junior high uniform, and he still looked too small for it. Being all of thirteen, he never did look old enough for anything.

"Nice to see you too," she said, getting into her seat next to Shuichi and "accidentally" elbowing him.

"Owwwww!" Shuichi said, rubbing his arm. "Cut it out!" He elbowed her back.

"Now, now, you two, Yuu just got back home," Sakiko interjected, bringing out a tray of pickled Japanese vegetables from the refrigerator and removing the plastic wrap that covered the tray. "Dear, I know that Uncle Hoshiro and Aunt Konoha have fed you well, but I know they can't make Kansai food worth anything. My brother never was much of a chef." She brought out a tray with three steaming bowls of kitsune udon, fresh fried tofu and sliced fish cake floating on top of the thick noodles and rich broth." I would have made okonomiyaki, but..."

"Mom, you don't have to do anything," Yuu said with a smile, reaching for her chopsticks. "I'm just happy to be home."

"Yeah, we all are," Shuichi said, rolling his eyes. 

"And I'm sure you won't mind if I borrow your Dreamcast while I'm home, Shu-chan," Yuu said, grinning evilly at her brother.

"Hey!"

"Ittadakimasu," Yuu said, taking a piece of the tofu up in her chopsticks and taking a bite.

**Later...**

"Mom, is Shuichi out of the hot springs yet?"

"He should be, dear. It's just us for the next few days; we don't have any guests booked."

"Okay." Wrapping a thick white towel around her and leaving her glasses on a hall table, Yuu stepped out of the laundry room and into the womens' showers just outside the hot springs of the ryokan.

_Now this I definitely missed..._ Yuu thought as she pulled the towel aside and hung it on a hook, starting to clean herself off before she got into the hot springs. _I can stretch out while I wash off, take all the time in the world... have a nice long soak..._

Yuu held out an arm to wash it, stretching it a little as she did so. _I could use some more tone in my arms,_ she thought, looking them over for a moment. _All that drawing and writing'll give me carpal tunnel syndrome if I do it too much... and maybe my legs, too..._

_Hell, why am I worried about my body all of a sudden?_

"Shuichi, you'd better be outta there!" Yuu yelled as she was shampooing her hair.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be right out!"

"You'd damn well better! Peep on me and I'll knock your skull out through your ear!"

"Hey! Why'd I wanna look at you naked, huh?"

"Probably because that's all you'll ever see of another girl," Yuu said teasingly, rinsing the shampoo from her hair.

"Real funny," Shuichi said, his footsteps slapping against the bare rocks of the hot springs.

Yuu didn't even bother to wrap the towel around herself as she stepped carefully into the hot springs, exhaling deeply as she soaked up to mid-chest in the mineral-rich water.

"It really has been too long..." she said to nobody in particular, folding up the towel and leaving it on a rock behind her. Leaning back further, she slid down until her shoulders were under the water. "I really needed this."

_It just seems too quiet, though._

The water was heavily steaming, coalescing against the cold night; the steam clouds formed a protective heat barrier around the rocks and vegetation of the onsen. Sighing, Yuu looked up into the cloud, into the night sky. The ryokan was at the edge of the city, fairly unaffected by light pollution, so she had a star-filled sky to look up at.

"It really is pretty..." she said out loud. "Tokyo doesn't have a sky like this, that's for sure..."

_To think that this is the first time I've seen the sky in so long... _

_Something like this after such time... it feels like home, it feels refreshing... I can see the entire sky, and—gah, listen to me..._

Yuu laughed in spite of herself, stretching her arms behind her head. "This is so nice," she said. "Finally, I can sort things out. It's been a long semester so far." 

_So many new people, so many new things... Kazuki..._

She blushed, self-consciously covering her bare chest under the surface of the water at the thought.

_Get a grip. It's just Kazuki. And he doesn't know yet... of course, unless Mizuki already told him... and why would she?_

_Why am I thinking of Kazuki **now**?!_

"Clear your head!" she said to nobody at all, standing up and stretching her legs, savoring the sudden chill that came from emerging out of the water into the cooler air. "Clear your head. Don't think. Feel."

"Everything all right in there, sweetheart?" her mother's voice called.

"Oh, everything's fine, mom!" she yelled back.

"All right, don't stay in too long."

Yuu sank back down into the water. _Feel... the way I feel about him... I know how it is. It's light... it's aching..._ she placed her hands over her heart, as if trying to hold it in. _I know that I want to be more than just his friend... more than just a partner in dojinshi. I know it... I know it because I miss him..._

"...because I miss him, huh..."

_I'm more than a little worried that I'm thinking about Kazuki when I'm not wearing anything, but... but still..._

_Am I ready for this? I mean... do I even want a boyfriend? Do I even want to be **dating**, for starters? Here I am, literally naked before the world, nothing around to disturb me... in my home, under the stars... and when the hell did I get this verbose?_

A few minutes' more soak cleared Yuu's head, and she stepped out, grabbing a fresh towel to dry off with.

_Cleanly..._ she thought. _I know... I know cleanly and clearly how I feel..._

Sighing and thinking as she changed into her normal clothing for the house, she headed into the kitchen to make some tea.

"Did you have a good bath, Yuu-chan?" her mother asked as she washed dishes.

Yuu nodded. "I got some thinking done."

"Don't think too much, dear, you'll burn out. Just relax while you're home."

"I'm as relaxed as I've been since I got to Tokyo right now, Mom," Yuu smiled.

_I didn't think that you'd be on my mind like this, Kazuki... I honestly didn't._

_Yeah... I should have stayed in Tokyo, but..._

Breathing in the steam from her tea as it steeped in a handleless mug, she sat at her old desk, continuing on the sketch from earlier.

"I'll get you for this, Kazuki," she said as she erased some of the rougher parts of the sketch, refining it. "I'll get you for this if it's the last thing I do."

Turning out the light a few hours later, she had left the sketchbook open. A view of her and Kazuki's familiar features, on a train, just centimeters away from a kiss.

**_To be commenced... _**


	2. Out of My Mind

**A/N: **I just realized that I didn't talk about the chapter titles! Every chapter is titled after a Duran Duran song. If you're feeling enterprising and inquisitive, you can seek out the lyrics to get a sort of undercurrent to the chapter. This is NOT a songfic or in any way inspired by the songs... I just thought it'd be a nice little tidbit, hopefully something that gets people interested in Duran Duran. They're more than just Rio and Hungry Like the Wolf... :-P

Bold italic sentences mean a flashback. Un-bold italic sentences indicate Yuu's train of thought, chugging right along.

Since this project is taking these different sort of narrative tangents in the storytelling itself, I'm definitely looking for criticism and reviews. So if you find anything that doesn't work well in the methodology of how I work this story, please don't hesitate to comment! I'd love to hear all opinions, good or bad.

Marivel was kind enough to remind me that 75 of all my fanfics thus far have been Yuu angsting over Kazuki in some way, shape, or form, so my aim is to actually have her _do_ something. I hope to accomplish this forthright.

Mad props to Marivel as always for her criticism, and many countless thanks to Cendrillo for beta-reading and proofing. Hopefully my dialogue will suck less with her input.

**Last bit of a/n, I swear:** On my way back from work today, I got into a pretty bad accident... I was the third car in a three-car accident. The guy in front of me braked hard to avoid a crash with the car in front of him, and I braked too late. It was raining really bad, and my poor Neon's front-end is heavily smashed in. :-/ If you'd care to donate to help offset my deductible, feel free to make the donations via PayPal to my E-mail address. Every little bit helps, so if I've got a fan out there who can part with $500 to help a brother out, it'd be appreciated.

There were no injuries, and as Taishi would say, "You may be confined to a hospital bed, my brother, but can you still write?!" Expect a plot device of the car-crash sort at some point. :-P The point is, everyone is OK and Geico is good people.

Many, MANY thanks to Marivel and her father for coming out and picking me up in Fort Lee after the police report finished up with me.

On with the show!

* * *

_1: Out of my Mind_

**January 3rd  
****Ichidai Private High School  
****Ichiguro-shi, Tokyo  
****7:30 AM**

"I wonder why nobody likes these uniforms?" Chisa Tsukamoto remarked to herself as she walked up the path from the school gates. "They're not that cold..." she spun a little so that the dark navy pleated skirt of the Ichidai girls' uniform twirled outwards.

Of course, being a Monday, and the first Monday after the celebration-filled New Year's weekend, most students were less than alert to the patches of ice on the asphalt pathway. The patches, not yet having been iced down, made for some loss of footings, but in Chisa's case...

"Oww, oww, owwwww..." the petite blonde moaned, rubbing her right shoulder. Having slipped and fallen in mid-twirl, she had taken most of the force of the fall there.

"Tsukamoto-san?" a first-year boy from her class said. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine!" she said, bringing herself back to her feet and brushing herself off gently. "Don't worry about me; this happens enough to Chisa that she's able to recuperate really fast."

"You sure?" the boy asked, nervously standing by. He wasn't quite sure if he should take her to the nurse, help her out, or examine her head for a concussion. The fall did not look like it was a very fun thing.

"She'll be fine," an accented voice said from behind the two first-years. Yuu Inagawa, year three, class five, waved to Chisa.

"Inagawa-sempai!" Chisa exclaimed. "Happy new year!"

"Happy new year," she replied, returning Chisa's quick bow. "Did you have a good weekend?"

"Oh, yes; Chisa spent it with her family. We all went out for noodles, but ended up getting lost in Yotsuya-cho and got sukiyaki instead."

"Ouch."

Chisa nodded. "Chisa's father got a pretty bad burn from the sukiyaki, and Chisa's grandmother upended an uncooked egg. It was not a pretty sight in Yotsuya-cho, it wasn't."

Yuu held back a chuckle. "At least you made it back alive... that is, until just now." Yuu tilted her head. "Did you fall again?"

"Heh heh..." Chisa grinned and blushed.

Yuu turned Chisa around and brushed her uniform off a little bit. "There, let's just readjust your ribbons and you're all set," Yuu said, loosening one of the pink ribbons in Chisa's hair.

"Did you have a good trip home?"

Yuu froze for a moment as she was untying the pink ribbon.

"Sempai? Are you okay?"

"Oh, sorry about that," Yuu said, snapping back to the moment. "I'm just a little slow waking up this morning."

"It was just a quick trip home, that's all," Yuu evened out the ends of the ribbon as she tied it around the locks of Chisa's hair. "Just your standard baths in the hot spring, walking around town, sketching, talking to old friends, that's all."

"A hot spring?" Chisa asked, amazed. "I've never been to one before! Which one did you go to, sempai?"

"Oh, just my family's ryokan... nothing too special, but-"

"Your family has a ryokan?!" Chisa blurted out, eyes wide with excitement. "That's so cool! Chisa's never been to a real hot spring ryokan before!"

"Heh, is that so?" Yuu said as they started walking towards the school building. "It's really great. We've got an open-air hot spring and all the other goods."

"Your family really lives at a hot spring? No wonder your skin is always so soft, sempai!"

"Hey, you're starting to scare me a little there, Chisa-chan," Yuu said with a grin at the younger girl.

"She is merely showing concern, my sister," a voice from above said, followed by a whoosh of air behind the girls. "A very happy and healthy new ye-"

Taishi Kuhonbutsu's stealthy self-introduction was cut short with a leaping harisen slap at the top of his head.

"You're going to give Chisa-chan a heart attack, Taishi," Yuu deadpanned, helping the green-haired youth back up to his feet. "Honestly, you're all the workout I'll never need just trying to keep you in check."

"But comrade, I was far too enthused with the prospect of facing the new year with the burning passion in our hearts. Can you not feel it!" Taishi exclaimed, throwing a friendly arm around the girls' shoulders and looking up to the upper floors of the school. "Comrade Yuu, comrade Chisa, Can you not feel the breath of fresh air that is the new year, the chances that we are given and the opportunities that we make!"

"K-k-kuhonbutsu-sempai..." Chisa said, twiddling her fingers nervously. "Um... happy new year..."

"And a happy new year to you too, comrade Chisa," Taishi said, gracefully bowing to her. "Despite what fears comrade Yuu may instill in you, my desires for world conquest are in the noblest of intentions and you have nothing to fear from the likes of me at any time."

"That's not very much of a relief, Kuhonbutsu-sempai," Chisa said.

"It rarely is coming from him, Chisa-chan. C'mon, let's get inside. I don't know about you guys, but I'm freezing. Stupid skirt, same length for the winter as it is for the summer..." Yuu pulled at a pleat of her skirt and sighed.

* * *

Chisa waved and smiled as Yuu and Taishi headed upstairs for the third-year classrooms. Taishi slid the door open to room 3-5, stepping aside to let Yuu in.

"When did you start being Mr. Gallant?" Yuu said, stepping through the door.

"I am but the vehicle of change, comrade, and change is best accomplished through one's own actions."

"I doubt that holding a door open for someone will even get you a step closer to conquering even Liechtenstein, but thanks anyway," Yuu shot back, elbowing him gently.

"Hey! Welcome back, guys!"

Yuu turned to the source of the voice. "Kazuki!"

She headed over to the dark-haired boy's desk, leaning on his neighbor's empty seat. "How was your new year's? Oh, you went back home, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, it was pretty fun. Next time, though, I'm taking the entire break to spend back home. It takes more than a weekend at a hot spring to get a semester's worth of dojinshi and schoolwork out." Yuu rotated her arm and rubbed her shouder. "I stretched my shoulder a little bit too much, though. No more mural painting for me for a little while."

"Just so long as your wrist works, my sister. That is all that matters."

"Yuu, are you still up for that idea we were talking about?" Kazuki asked, turning in his seat to face Yuu.

"What, you mean the big team-up?"

"Yeah, you, me, and Aya. She and I could definitely use the exposure, and Karamitei's well known enough."

**_"Yuu, I can't thank you enough for everything that you've done all this time, I really can't."_**

**_"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad that you're enjoying creating dojinshi again. It was touch-and-go for a while back there."_**

**_"Yeah... it just took something like this to bring everything back together. Really... you don't know how much this means to me."_**

**_I know I was blushing when he said that. And I do NOT blush. It's a good thing I'm too blunt to do anything but play it cool._**

**_"Kazuki, I had nothing to do with this. I just bugged you in all the right places and times. It was you that put pen to paper."_**

**_"Even so, I need to ask you for one last favor..."_**

**_"Sure, anything."_**

**_"You remember Aya-chan, right?"_**

**_"Of course I remember her! She's not in any sort of trouble, is she?"_**

**_"No, no, it's just that... well, she and I were talking about joining up to produce a joint Brother 2/Jamming Book Store dojinshi, and we were hoping that you'd be willing to join up as well..."_**

_Yes, of course. I wouldn't trade in fame and fortune... well, then again, that'd be nice... but I don't think I want to be in that position, nor will I be there. I'm not that good._

"Well, you can definitely count me in," Yuu said, flashing a thumbs-up and a wink to Kazuki. "We'll kick some otaku butt and generate some press for a couple of up-and-comers. Of course, we'll do a 60-20-20 profit split..."

"Nice try, Yuu."

"Man, you're killing me here! How can you extract every single last drop of blood from me, so that my entire family goes hungry!"

"My sister, I believe you are intruding on my turf," Taishi said with a mischievous grin. "The melodrama should stay on this side of the room."

"He's got you there, Yuu," another familiar voice remarked.

"My sister, do I sense a conspiracy of the fairer sex afoot?" Taishi exclaimed, standing up and planting one foot firmly on the seat of his chair. "Know this! Though our century is one of equality and recognition, there are no breaks for-"

"Taishi, siddown!" Mizuki Takase said exasperatedly, firmly pushing down on the top of Taishi's head.

"There is no need for violence!" Taishi exclaimed as he was pushed off-balance enough to cause a rather quick sit-down in his chair. The few students in the class had a good laugh at that moment.

"How was your weekend, Mizuki?" Kazuki asked.

"Bor-ing," Mizuki mocked with a fake yawn. "I just sat around the house because Kazuki had some hugely important thing to do with King Otaku over there."

"Mizuki, for the last time, Minami invited us to her place for New Year's and you didn't want to go because you had to go shopping with your friends," Kazuki sighed.

"Well, that doesn't mean it was any less important than getting sloshed at Minami's apartment!" Mizuki riposted, sticking out her tongue.

"Sloshed? I never figured you guys for big drinkers," Yuu said, raising an eyebrow.

"Neither did I," Kazuki said, shaking his head. "It was just fun, nothing too bad, but Taishi's a lightweight beyond all lightweights. He had a necktie around his head, he was totally nuts singing karaoke, and that was only after a couple little things of sake!"

"Whoa, Taishi!" Yuu exclaimed. "I didn't think you had it in you!"

"World conquest is difficult work, comrade, and there is nothing wrong with the ability to kick back and feel free every once in a while with friends."

"Taishi, everyone but Minami was underage at that party," Kazuki interjected

"Kazuki, just let it go," Mizuki grinned. "If he loses a few brain cells, maybe at least Europe will be safe from his onslaught."

They had a good laugh as the school's electronic bell sounded and more students started filing in, the day just starting to begin.

"Oh, Yuu," Kazuki turned around in his seat. "Aya and I are going to meet up at Marvel Burger after school tomorrow to start brainstorming. Wanna walk there together?"

_Do birds have wings? Does takoyaki have octopus in it?_

"Sure!"

Their homeroom teacher came in with the next cluster of students, just before the starting bell rang, and the class went right into homeroom business as usual.

**January 4th  
Ichidai Private High School  
Ichiguro-shi, Tokyo  
3:30 PM**

**_"Taishi, come and help me with the sandwiches, will you?"_**

**_"But of course, my sister. I could not leave a comrade to the wrath of an enemy in any form, sandwich or otherwise."_**

**_"Yeah, that's great. C'mon."_**

**_Yuu grabbed Taishi by the wrist, pulling him out of the classroom. "We'll be back soon!" she yelled to Kazuki and Mizuki, who were pulling the four friends' desks together for the lunch period._**

**_"Why the rush, comrade?"_**

**_Yuu let go of Taishi's wrist as they were out of earshot of the classrom and stepped in front of him, turning to his face. "Loosen your necktie a bit, will you?"_**

**_"Loosen my necktie?"_**

**_"Yep, loosen it."_**

**_"If you insist..." Taishi pulled the knot of his tie down, loosening it. "But I don't know what this is-"_**

**_"Just humor me a sec," Yuu said, reaching up to his tie. "I need to figure out how to straighten this, and you're going to help me practice."_**

**_"My sister, I fail to see what use you would have for straightening up a mens' necktie."_**

**_"Heh. You should notice these things. Kazuki's is un-straightened all the time and I want to be able to fix it for him."_**

**_"Ah, yes. Kazuki's skills in dojinshi may propel him to world conquest, but he should consider himself lucky that once we rule the world, the dress code will be business casual at the most. I am surprised, though, comrade; I never thought you would employ a plot device so common to anime wherein a girl is trying to look after the object of her affections."_**

**_"Take this one at face value, Taishi," Yuu growled, grabbing Taishi's tie and yoinking him down a few inches. "Believe me, I don't like having to be all cutesy either."_**

**_Yuu straightened Taishi's tie after fiddling it with a moment and pulling on the thin end. She loosened and straightened it up again just for good measure. "Great. Let's go get those sandwiches for the guys."_**

**_Now why, Taishi thought as they walked along, would she be wanting to fix up Kazuki's tie for him?_**

"Kazuki, bend over for a sec, will you? Your tie is loose."

"My tie?" Kazuki set down his school bag as the two students walked out of the gate and fiddled with the knot. "Man, it must have been like this all day..."

"No, no, let me get it," Yuu said, reaching up to the striped silk necktie as she stood on her toes. "I can see it from a better angle."

Yuu tried to ignore the fact that she reached for the tie at the same time as Kazuki, just feeling a brush of air as her slim hands reached past Kazuki's.

_So close, and yet so far... next time, I just won't warn him,_ she grumbled to herself. _But I don't mind taking care of him a little like this... hell, maybe he'll see me as more of a girl if I start up with these little things._

"There, all set," Yuu said with a smile, patting his chest playfully. "Now you look a little more presentable. You don't wanna let Aya down, do you?"

"Definitely not," Kazuki said, picking up his bag and tossing it over his shoulder. "More people need to see her work, and to do that, she's gotta get her name out there. I'm really looking forward to this entire project; it'll be a big help for her."

"I'm glad you're looking out for her," Yuu said, pulling on a pair of gloves. "She does have a fantastic style and aesthetic. Short of totally modifying her personality, a better presentation and marketing effort is the best thing she can do for herself to sell more dojinshi."

"Any thoughts as to what kind of dojinshi we'd be doing?"

**Marvel Burger  
Ichiguro-Minami, Tokyo  
3:45 PM**

"So we were thinking about a blend," Kazuki said, gesturing with a French fry. "Aya-chan, you have such a gift for simplified, stylized interactions between people and their environment. Combine that with your artistic abilities and it's almost as if we'd just be your assistants." Kazuki popped the fry into his mouth.

"Oh... I'm... I'm really not that good," Aya Hasebe replied, avoiding Kazuki's eyes and folding her hands in her lap."

"Give yourself a little credit!" Yuu said between bites of a Double Marvel. She set the wrapper of the burger aside, dangling it out of her mouth, furiously sketching on a piece of paper. "We jutht ave to ekthibith thomthing oonique to the genre..."

Kazuki could barely hold back a chuckle at Yuu's dangle-burger-speak.

"What?" she asked, mouth full of burger.

_CRAP! I must look like a slob!_

"Anyway," Yuu said, pretending nothing had happened after another bite of her burger—this time setting it down—"we just have to focus on the freshness and uniqueness of Aya's artwork and Kazuki's eye for scene work. That one hostage sequence from Not Hundred was one of the stronger points of the comic, Kazuki."

_I'm an idiot. How can talking through a fast-food burger be at all cute? I barely know what kind of girl he'd really go for, but even I know that the table manners of a five-year old are no good. Dammit._

"Well, we'd be at a loss to use all the skills we have to contribute if we exclude Aya's scene progression. I could learn a lot from the minimalist way she implies the progress in her stories. I mean, here," Kazuki said, pulling a copy of Aya's Pinwheel from his school bag. "Look at these frames, here, here, and here. It's almost as if the viewpoint becomes disembodied and totally unrelated to the characters, yet the emotional connection remains when it picks up here." Kazuki turned the dojinshi to point it out to Yuu, much to Aya's blushing chagrin.

"So what do I get to bring to the table?" Yuu asked enthusiastically, folding her fingers together and propping her chin on them. "I know I can do more than just attach the Karamitei name to you guys' dojinshi."

"Yuu, you've got the most all-around experience in dojinshi. We need your guidance and support in basically all areas of production. Aya and I are-"

"We just want to sell more dojinshi," Aya said unexpectedly. "Making something unique is all well and good, but... but it's just..."

"Go on," Yuu said, leaning towards Aya. "What do you want to achieve?"

"I just... I just want people to come looking for me at conventions... the way you have people coming up to you, Inagawa-san..."

_I would so much rather be working with you alone, Kazuki... Aya worries me. She's the type that guys go for all the time... it's like some dating sim; the quiet, beautiful one just draws you in._

_I don't care. I want to spend time with you... open myself to you... and when you see the parts of me that feel the way they do, I want you to feel the same way._

"You can count me in," Yuu said with a thumbs-up and a triumphant grin. "I'll do everything I can to help."

"I... I... um, thank you very much," Aya said, smiling lightly with a formal bow.

"Yeah! Thanks so much, Yuu!" Kazuki said, raising his fists in a very Taishi-esque victory pose. "We'll be all over the next Comic Party for sure!"

"We can definitely do this," Yuu affirmed with a nod, crossing her arms in determination.

_Time spent with him will be good time indeed. Now I have so much more time outside of school just to hang around with him... we could go out, just him and I, after a long night of working on dojinshi... just before we got to the station, I'd offer him some of the tea from the can I was drinking... yeah, an indirect kiss._

_No! Bad thoughts! Come on, snap out of it, Yuu. That's such a Mizuki move. You're better than flirting like that. You don't need to be cute for him. Who you are is damn well enough._

"Here's to cooperative effort," Yuu raised her medium Coke in a toast.

"To cooperative effort!" the other two voices echoed, tapping their sodas together.

**December 31st  
Kobe**

_**I remember how cold it was that morning, back at the Kobe Waterfront Shopping Arcade... still the same old convenience stores, still the same old shops. The Korean take-out stand was conspicuously absent, judging from the air that didn't have the spicy smell of freshly pickled kimchi anymore...**_

_**I guess I really am just a Kansai girl at heart... a little box of takoyaki and a can of oolong tea for lunch is like walking around with a prefectural flag. But they can't do it like this in Tokyo.**_

_**But what do I make of this... I can't go back to Tokyo, not yet. I have too much that I have to think of here... too much to wonder about and too many things to sort out. **_

_**Is that café by the shipping office still open?**_

_**Time to think, that's why I came back to Kobe...**_

_**Now that I know how I feel... I have to do something. There's an answer to these feelings, I know it. I haven't had the chance to act on feelings like this before... and for the life of me, I can't figure out what to do with 'em.**_

**To be continued...**


	3. My Own Way

**A/N:** If this chapter is late and/or not up to my normal level of quality, it's just the whole car thing stressing me out. :-/ It may be a little shorter, but I really wanted to have something quality come out this week despite the crap I've had to deal with. My hard drive crashed, too, how about that? And as of posting time, I still don't know if Azumi, my beloved '00 purple Neon, will be repaired or declared a total loss. Sigh.

Top it off, I got strep and had to miss a day of work. Of course, the genius that I am keeps this story on my work PC alone... --

On a lighter note, I got the Comic Party fighting game in the mail this weekend... and Marivel can attest to how much it's hooked me. E-mail me if you want to know where I found it, and no, I will not be torrenting it out. Support the dojin software industry:-P

Mad thanks again to Cendrillo and Marivel for their beta-ing. Mad welcome also to Kei-kun; thanks for taking the time to read and leave a review!

On with the show!

* * *

_2: My Own Way_

* * *

**January 8th  
Ogikubo 21-12  
Ogikubo, Tokyo  
12:55 PM**

Yuu stepped out of her shoes and into her slippers as she got home from the half day of school on Saturday. Not even bothering to change out of her uniform, she grabbed a curry bread and a pitcher of oolong tea from the refrigerator and headed off to her room.

**_"So we're focusing on something that doesn't involve too much SF, something more human," Yuu said, twirling the pen between her fingers. "Kazuki, you'll be making a really big stylistic leap on this. You sure you're up to it?"_**

"_**You bet I am. It's exactly what I need to do: I have to challenge my own skills and expand my boundaries. Otherwise, I'll never get better." **_

_**Yuu nodded. "Very good, very good. You've got the right attitude. Aya, you've done a lot of very human-scaled dojinshi in the past. Hell, it's your specialty. Did you have any thoughts on this?" **_

"_**Umm..." Aya stared at her half-eaten burger. "Well, I didn't really have anything in mind specifically... but..." **_

"_**But?" Yuu and Kazuki asked in unison. **_

"_**But Valentine's Day is coming up the Monday after the next Comic Party," Aya said. "We could work with that." **_

"Valentine's Day, huh..." Yuu said, pressing her lips around the end of her mechanical pencil. "Think about it... it's the perfect scenario. I get to open up to him, learn more about him... it'll be like dating, only without all the damn awkwardness."

_Of course, I'd love to be on a date with him... just him and me..._

Yuu leaned back on her bed as she sketched with her pad on her knees. Again, shapes turned into people, and people took on unique characteristics. A new type of school uniform here, a different crowd scene there...

_But what would work? If we're all going to be working on a love story, it's got to stand out. It has to be something different. We're limited on page count... a maximum of 48 if we really want to push it, but 36 is more likely. Style-wise, we're all assisting each other, so chapters are out. Probably even the conventional plot. We can forget boy-meets-girl and all that wonderful jazz._

**_"Okay, let's do this," Kazuki said after several sheets of paper lay crumpled on the table, the battleground of ideas having yielded many a casualty. "Let's all think of something on our own and see what we bring to the table. We're three different people with three different sets of outlooks and experiences, so let's take our best and see what can be brought from each into one idea. We'll meet on Sunday with some basics and start from there. How's that sound?"_ **

_I know I can do something unique. Setting Kazuki aside for the moment, this is a really refreshing idea in working with these guys..._

Sketch after sketch filled Yuu's book. She sipped tea, drew a few lines, took a bite of the spicy curry bread, formed an expression on a character's face, and proceeded through page after page of dewy-eyed sketches.

"Dammit, I have no clue how to write from my heart," she said to the empty apartment. "All I know about being in love is how I feel for Kazuki, dammit! And that's just me wanting to be with him!"

_I want to be with him..._

Yuu's mouth came open in mid-sentence as the thought echoed in her head. "I want to be with him..." she said out loud, tentatively, a little more quietly.

"Yeah... I want to be with him, I really do..." she said, hugging her knees to her chest and drumming her pencil against her bare calves. "But what do I do with that feeling?"

She picked up her sketchbook, drawing a quick outdoor scene: a tree, branches bare, with an old, Western-style building behind it.

She wrote in the air, undefined by a balloon, in a feminine kanji font:

"I want to be with him... more than anything... but what do I do with that feeling?"

Yuu looked at the lines of kanji, evaluating it for shape, placement, and form. She flipped the page, feverishly sketching again. She sketched a human profile, just a raw collection of lines and shapes, not yet wearing anything. The profile became a girl, viewed from an oblique low angle... her hair turned into short, well-groomed dark locks...

"And with all the time we've spent together, I don't know what..."

"No, no, no, that phrasing doesn't work. This can't be right," Yuu said, sighing and throwing her sketchbook closed. "I know I can do a hell of a lot more than just draw a dojinshi about this sort of thing. How can people stand to-"

Yuu froze. "Hey... I know someone just like that..."

_How does Aya deal with her feelings? Are her dojinshi really a reflection of her emotions? Doesn't it bottle up, doesn't it hurt?_

"Doesn't it hurt to hold back..." she wrote in a flash.

Yuu sketched again, drawing off of the flash of inspiration, taking the character she had sketched before... _I think I've got it..._

"So I didn't bottle them up anymore," the character thought, peering over a can of hot coffee. Her hair changed, lightening and growing a little longer, down to her neck. She leaned on her hand, propped at the elbow. "So here I am now..."

"Yeah, I think that'll work..." Yuu thought, adding more details to the café scene._ A stool... she's on a stool, people-watching in the window of a café..._

**Later**

_Why am I doing this..._ Yuu thought as she pulled up a comfortable easy chair in the Ogikubo Pageturner Café. Throwing herself back into the red-leather chair, she threw open her sketchbook and promptly ignored the steaming cup of coffee that she had bought as a formality.

_I know that something was eluding me at home, so I came out to get into the character's head,_ Yuu thought as she added more details to her sketches. _But I don't like the way that this is going, turning into just a device for how I feel about Kazuki. This is different than any dojinshi I've done before. I want to do it RIGHT, dammit._

Yuu scratched out a less-than-promising angle on the character she was working on.

_Who are you? What drives you? Where are you now?_ she asked of the next blank sheet of acid-free paper. Tapping her pencil against her cheek, she started a vague sketch of two characters, these being a couple...

_You again. What is your name? Who do you want to be with? Do I want you to be with him, do I want you to feel the happiness that I want? What kind of story will I tell with you?_

Yuu looked out the window of the café onto the bright, cold early winter day. People were wearing coats, breathing on their ungloved hands, bundling themselves close. It was the same scene every winter; people longed for the warmth that the past seasons had left behind.

_Seasons change, people change. Seasons. People. Something with the seasons. Memories of spring, something having happened in the spring... something in the past, something that already happened. Reminiscence._

Yuu sketched a little more, turning the characters into two people: a boy and a girl, the girl laughing and hanging onto the boy's arm. _Older teens, even college age... yeah, I'm tired of drawing school uniforms. Give them independence, intelligence... the ability to go about their lives unburdened..._

With gusto, Yuu drank half the cup of coffee, now significantly cooler, in one gulp. Wincing from the bitterness (having not added any sugar) she set to sketching.

_Izumi Mori. That's who you are. "Fountain of the forest." A source of beauty that's hard to find. Trying to insinuate something, Inagawa? Yuu grinned to herself. And the man you love... Hiroshi Shima. "Generous island." Man, I love Japanese names. They're so expressive._

_Now, let's work on what drives you, Izumi-chan..._

**January 9th  
****Marvel Burger  
****Ichiguro-Minami, Tokyo  
****12:35 PM**

"Well..." Aya said shyly, sliding her sketchbook forward. "I wanted to ask as to... well... why."

"Why?" Yuu asked.

**_I want to know why it is I keep being fluffy about this... why I keep thinking about Kazuki and I as a couple. What am I going to do with these feelings? Why is it such a big deal to me? Why is love so important? _**

**_To do that... in the spirit of creative self-expression and inquiry... this'll be my dojinshi. A question as to why we fall in love... to why we attract other people._**

"Well... since it's going to be out for Valentine's Day... why is there such a need for love? Why do we have to have the feelings, what... what makes it special." Aya calmly took a sip of her soda.

"That's pretty deep, Aya-chan," Yuu remarked.

"But I think it works, though," Kazuki said, stealing one of Yuu's French fries and receiving a threatening look for having done so.

"How so?" Yuu asked. "You'd better have a good explanation, otherwise I won't take that fry theft so lightly."

_Take them all if you want..._

"Well, if we just did a standard romance dojinshi, it'd just get lost in the crowd," Kazuki reasoned. "Instead of a love story... let's explore the emotion itself, let's explore the how, the why, the when."

"That's a big change of pace for you, Kazuki," Yuu nodded. "Did you have an idea on the same lines as Aya?"

"Well, mine's a little more pedestrian than Aya's," Kazuki admitted, turning his sketchbook around and highlighting his characters. "I wanted to bring about the idea of how we express our feelings, how they get executed and brought about... I'm the 'how' to Aya's 'why.' It's a little close to your standard romance manga, but I think it'll help keep things on the human scale we're looking for. I mean, if we get too philosophical, it'll turn into an Evangelion Valentine's Day."

Yuu chuckled. "I hear you."

"So it seems we're pretty solid, then," Kazuki said, looking over Yuu's sketches. "I like how you took a different perspective in time with yours, Yuu. Having them being together in the past and coming from the viewpoint of the girl makes it kind of bittersweet."

"You think so? I was having some trouble trying to move away from parody dojinshi, so I was throwing away ideas left and right."

"Nah, it seems like you've got a pretty firm handle on this. It really feels like you're creating something heartfelt, something real."

Yuu had to hold back a blush. "Now you're just getting flowery on me, Kazuki."

_This is not self-insertion. This is not self-insertion. This is not self-insertion._

They went back and forth, refining their character designs and contributing plot ideas. They were inside the Marvel Burger until the winter sun set early in the afternoon, turning concepts into sketches and scenes, drawing an interplay between the characters, experimenting with plot. The burgers and fries went cold, and the sodas went warm, and late into the night, the three dojinshi artists finally looked up and noticed that night had fallen.

"I should be getting home," Aya said, pocketing her sketchbook and standing up. "When will we meet again to work on this?"

"Well, Kazuki and I are linking our stories by family, so we should meet up individually to work that background out," Yuu said, standing up and putting on her winter coat. "Let's meet again next Saturday afternoon and get our plot down on storyboard. Can you have your characters solidly fleshed out by then, Aya?"

"Of course."

"Okay, then good luck. Let us know if we can help."

"Thank you very much," Aya said, bowing formally. Kazuki and Yuu returned her bow rather awkwardly, still always put off by her politeness. "I'll see you both next Saturday."

"You just going home?" Yuu asked Kazuki as they headed out of Marvel Burger.

"Yeah, might as well get started," Kazuki said. "You wanna get some more work done on our characters?"

_YES!_

"Sure, let's keep our momentum going."

"It's pretty advantageous how we ended up with our ideas," Kazuki remarked. "Your characters are young, reflecting on their past experience, and mine ended up being a widower not too long out of college. A perfect brother-sister pairing."

"Yeah, you came up with a surprisingly good concept, Kazuki. I like how he's exploring how he can act on feelings of love and affection towards someone else... it's been done, but from a linked perspective like this, we have more of an emotional connection with the readers right off the bat."

_I never expected something like that from you, Kazuki. You really do surprise me every day._

They swiped their rail passes and headed up the stairs to the packed-as-always platform. As they talked character dynamics, their train pulled up, and it evoked the can-of-sardines metaphor that the Tokyo mass transit system inspired in its riders.

"Hold your breath," Yuu joked as they got on board, crammed up against so many other commuters. The chime for closing doors sounded, and as Yuu reached up to grab a strap hanging from the safety bar of the train car, Kazuki reached out to grab onto the floor-to-ceiling safety bar near the door.

Yuu felt the brush of his hand against the back of her neck, up against her hair, and she involuntarily jumped from the surprise contact.

_I've always been ticklish there... I know it was accidental, but my God, that was the first time he's ever physically **touched** me..._

"Sorry about that," Kazuki said sheepishly.

"No, it's okay, you just gave me a shock," Yuu lightly thwacked Kazuki in the face with her harisen. "Consider it evened out."

Taking an invisible deep breath, Yuu took a step back so that she was leaning up against Kazuki's arm. "The guy in front of me smells really bad," she whispered to Kazuki as an explanation.

_Yeah, this feels nice. I only wish it could be intended, but for now... I'll take what I can get._

_Only for now, though._

**December 31st  
****Kobe**

**_Yeah, this place never changes. It's the dingiest-looking shack on the outside, but the inside is pure gold. The couches date back to the early '60s, the food isn't to be touched, but the bookshelves are huge and tightly packed. They use French coffee presses, too... it just tastes better when it's unfiltered. Stronger. Yeah. It'll keep you going for hours. _**

**_Kazuki... this Valentine's Day, I want to be the one who gives you chocolate. I don't care if you get it from Mizuki, but I want to know that if I do something for you, for you alone, that comes from my heart with all my feelings attached, it'll mean something to you. _**

**_Uch. Yeah. Since when can I make chocolates from scratch? Even those kits are pointless. That's not affection. If I can't make it with my own two hands, it's like photocopying someone else's dojinshi as my own. It just won't happen. _**

**_As pathetic as it sounds, all I can do is express myself through dojinshi... just so long as I can express myself to you somehow. I know for sure Mizuki wouldn't even bring herself to express herself, period. She's too stuck-up. I mean, listen to what she's said, look at how long it took her to come around... _**

**_I can only smirk knowingly at her for so long. She's had chance after chance. She's blown them all. She comes through too little, too late as far as I'm concerned. _**

**_It's just... you couldn't be happy with her... not the happiness that you could feel with me... the same as I feel it with you... _**

**To be continued...**


	4. What Happens Tomorrow

**A/N:** Well, they declared my lovely Neon a total loss, but I had a plan and a budget ready to go. Therefore, I got myself a new car on Friday, 10/29! I left work, dropped off the rental, and went to Caldwell Toyota/Scion, and after getting all the paperwork done, thus signing my soul to Toyota Motor Credit for the next four years, I picked up Mariko, my 2005 Scion xA in Black Sand Pearl. Pics are at photobucket dot com slash albums slash v192 slash Roque slash Mariko. You can see Marivel, my girlfriend, in them as well. She's the lovely one. It's a sweet car... really cool-looking (Even Marivel likes it, and she hates cars), full of good standard features, and only $14,905 after tax, title, and fees. That, comrades, is a bargain.

In any case, Mariko is the entire reason why I missed an update this past week. My thus-unbroken record is gone, but for good reason indeed.

I actually had a cool experience while writing this chapter... while I was working on it, just trying to think in Yuu's terms, I got a little bit lightheaded and dizzyish. It felt like my point of view was floating a little bit above where I was actually sitting. Physically, it felt like I was sort of out of my body. I'm sure it was just lack of oxygen or something like that, since I'm as secular as it gets, but it felt very out-of-body-experience-ish. It was a nice feeling before I shook it off.

Props to Cendrillo and Marivel for getting the entire beta process done in less than twelve hours' time. Thanks also to Romei for leaving a review! But you know, people, it's okay to find bad points; I really want to grow as a writer, so harshly constructive criticism is once again always welcome.

On with the show!

* * *

_3: What Happens Tomorrow  
  
_**January 9th**  
**A Train on the Mita Line near Jinbocho station, Tokyo  
****1:15 PM**

The transfer off of the Shinjuku line was smooth and uneventful at Jinbocho, and soon enough, they were en route to Kazuki's house in Meguro.

Much to Yuu's chagrin, the ride on the Mita line was far less crowded than their first train, and they only ended up sitting next to each other.

"How are we going to unify all of our different styles?" Kazuki asked as he and Yuu compared their seperate character designs. "Let's face it, Yuu, that's going to be the tough part in terms of art for this release."

"We'll have to come up with a template for the basics," Yuu said after tapping her chin in thought. "Aya and I will have to reduce our eye sizes and synchronize placement. Also, we're going to have to do something about how you draw face structure."

"That bad, huh?"

"Well, your characters always have more shading on the undersides of their chins. You're working well with light sourcing; that's a fairly advanced skill to have. I'm not saying to exclude it, but look here and here—" Yuu pointed out a few characters in a copy of Not Hundred that Kazuki had lying in his lap— "and you end up with the same shadow falling off of different structures. We'll probably have to work on how you portray the chin and cheekbones."

"Yeah, I hear what you're saying... I was never good at drawing much other than the basic square jaw and cheekbone face. Even with light placement, I couldn't get it to refract away the faces."

"Kazuki, you started off with hard-boiled sci-fi, moved on to a parody mishmash of archetypes, and then moved back to hard-boiled reality. That at least had a female role in it, though, and that's your weakness. Haven't you ever drawn a female face in art class or just for painting's sake?"

"Only from time to time, and not really within a dojinshi framework," Kazuki said. "From time to time, we'd just have human drawing in art class, and Mizuki and I would be each others' subjects."

"What sort of story are you going for in particular?"

"Well, going on the 'how' of romance, I didn't want to do the standard thing... of course, since that's our theme—deviating from the normal standard—I wanted to try something that was the opposite of your standard romance. My character is a widower... he lost his wife a few years ago, and essentially he's not moved forward all that much. I want to look at his situation and have him connect with the readers... I want him to ask them 'how can I go on with my life? How can I feel the same way again for someone else?'"

"That's spoken like someone who's gone through something similar before."

"Mita, now approaching Mita Station," the train's loudspeaker announced. "Transfer at Mita Station for the Asakusa Line. This is a Mita Express train to Mita and Meguro. Again, now approaching Mita Station; transfer for the Asakusa line. Mind the gap, please."

"Sorry, but I don't have any tragic lost-romance story," Kazuki sheepishly grinned as he spoke over the announcement. "I just took things from the other end of how we normally see them."

_You mean you've never had a girlfriend before? I mean... not like I've ever had a boyfriend before... I swear, I'll never understand how guys think. My stupid little brother is absolutely no help whatsoever._

"Well, in that case, I think that Captain Squarejaw's Space Ranger Team will have to take a backseat this time, Kazuki," Yuu said. "We'll need to get you some practice on drawing women as characters in a dojinshi, not just as subjects in art."

"Yeah, I've noticed that there's a difference between art and manga. I can't take as much time on characters as I've been taking... as much as I'd love to draw a dojinshi that has Aya's high levels of quality and detail, hers are usually shorter than what I go for and focus more on objects. But the people... man, I envy her talents."

"Play your cards right, and Aya'll benefit along with you and me, Kazuki," Yuu said confidently. "It's high time you two broke out even more onto the dojinshi scene. There's simply no reason to keep you down in the underground anymore."

The train pulled up into Mita, brakes squealing as the cars decelerated.

_Thank you, Sir Isaac Newton,_ Yuu thought as inertia pushed her briefly onto Kazuki.

"Yeesh. Trains don't seem to like us much, huh?" Kazuki chuckled.

"What do trains know anyway," Yuu said, rolling her eyes with faux indignation. "We can't let things like inertia stand in the way of your evolution as a dojin artist!"

"You're spending too much time around Taishi, Yuu;" Kazuki said, laughing. "That line was too much like him for comfort!"

"Watch it," Yuu said, stifling her own laughter and positioning her harisen under Kazuki's chin. "I'd smack you one if I wasn't in a good mood."

"Okay, no need for violence... my sister..." Kazuki said, finishing off with a mischievous grin.

A good laugh later, they went back to business.

"We're going to relate our characters, right?" Yuu said. "How will they be related? Brother and sister would be too far apart if your character's already going to be married with a wife who died in the timespan of years ago."

"I was thinking a minimum age of twenty-seven," Kazuki said, drumming his fingers on his knee. "But maybe they ought to be older, a little more mature. That way we avoid any undue angstiness and indecisiveness that'd otherwise crop up from an adolescent-age character."

"Kazuki, we _are_ adolescent-age characters."

"Doesn't mean we have to be dewy-eyed about everything. Besides, this is all part of the challenge. We could write normal stories as a dojinshi circle, but we chose to do something different. Let's really give our readers something fresh and unique to connect to."

"Well, plot-wise, we can put in a transition between Izumi and your character... have you thought of a name yet?"

"Meguro," the loudspeaker chimed on again. "Now approaching Meguro Station. This is the last stop on the train. All riders must disembark at Meguro. Again, now approaching Meguro Station. This is the last stop on this Mita Express train."

"Let's stop at the convenience store for some supplies," Kazuki said, standing up and stretching. "We'll get some work done when we get back to my room. I'd have cleaned up if I knew you were coming."

"Nothing I haven't seen before," Yuu said as she stood up. "Just so long as you keep your hentai stash out of public eyesight."

"I don't _have_ a hentai stash!"

"Sure you don't," Yuu mockingly narrowed her eyes. "Just nothing _too_ far out into left field and I'm sure you'll still have something of an actual normal life."

"I'm telling you, I don't have any hentai!" Kazuki said in a low voice.

"I'll take your word until it actually spills out of the closet," Yuu grabbed onto a ceiling strap as the train came to a stop. "But at that point, all bets are off and you're getting harisenated."

**Sendoh Residence  
****Meguro 12-14-47, Tokyo**

"I still envy the fact that you've got a room that's bigger than most two-car garages, Kazuki," Yuu said upon removing her sneakers and stepping into Kazuki's room.

"It came with the house and my parents both take the train everywhere," Kazuki poured some hot water into two handleless mugs. He put a few pinches of green tea into strainers and set those into the mugs, letting the tea steep. "They just put down carpet and better insulation, and soon enough, here I am."

"Oh, here you are," Yuu scoffed by reply. "You've got a _house,_ Kazuki. The rest of us peons have to cram into apartments with our relatives, y'know."

Kazuki shrugged. "I was six when we moved here, Yuu. I didn't have much choice in the manner."

"I'll leave the 'oppressor of the masses' speech to Taishi." Yuu pulled up a pillow to the table in Kazuki's room and knelt on it. She opened up a bag of squid crackers and took a bite out of the crunchy snack. "So where do you stand with your characters?"

"I've got a couple of rough sketches of the male lead that you've already seen, but I'm not so sure about the love interest yet. I have problems trying to picture what I want her to look like. It's harder than I thought to come up with original character designs in this sense... it's something I'm not too familiar with."

"Start from the basics," Yuu suggested as Kazuki finished steeping the tea and dumped out the leaves. She accepted the mug gently, wary of the heat, and sipped a little. "Is she representing a concept? Is she normal, is she graceful? Is she clumsy?"

"Well... definitely someone who can shake the male lead out of his—"

"Give him a name, Kazuki. If you're going to create a character, you can't just leave him nameless."

"All right, how about Kenshiro. Nice and modern, nothing too hidden behind the meaning..."

"Okay, who do you want to shake Kenshiro out of his loneliness and isolation from the loss of his dear wife?"

"Someone strong..." Kazuki said, wrenching his brow in thought. "But someone who still lets him be himself. Someone caring enough, but someone who isn't a pushover. Yet... she's just got that something, you know?"

_Is that the kind of girl you like? Is that what you look for? Or is this just your exploration... just a foray. Because... because that could be me you're talking about... and believe me, you wouldn't ever have to be anyone but who you are..._

"Did you have any physical characteristics you were thinking of, Kazuki?"

"Not really." He shrugged. "I mean, how do you take a personality trait and translate that into appearance?"

"Think about it. If you've got a woman straightforward, honest, and independent enough to help another person on such an emotional level, do you really think she'd have hair all the way down to their waist and wear nothing but Gucci?"

"Well... yeah, I see..." Kazuki said, nodding and sipping some of his tea. "The only person I can really base these things off of is you, so I just didn't want to turn it into a copy of people I knew."

"Let's work with that, then. Although you'd better not have clues that lead your readers to think it's me, Kazuki. I won't have you doing self-insertions... there are too many Mary Sues out there."

"Mary Sue? Who's that?"

"Never mind. Let's get started. Draw me."

"Draw you?"

"Yeah, draw me. It'll be good practice. Start from the image of what you're thinking of and then you can make basic changes in structure, appearance, and add visual quirks as necessary. You also need to get the female face down in a manga sense."

"That's not a bad idea," Kazuki opened his sketch pad, leaned back on a floor chair he pulled up, and propped the pad on his knee. "I mean, I've been really looking at your face the past few minutes and it's gotten me thinking about how to create an ideal image for the female lead."

_He's been looking at my face? Has he been **looking** looking, or just sidelong noticing? Oh crap, I don't have any acne or anything, right? Calm down, calm down, you've been OK so far, and there weren't any cavernous sores when you looked in the mirror this morning... and stop being so vain, dammit! Kazuki wouldn't care if you had a pimple or two! _

"Tell me then, Kazuki," Yuu said, turning a little towards him and tilting her head a little to the left. "What differentiates my face from Taishi's, for example? Let's hear how you can make some of your own improvements."

_Calm down. Don't give him reason to suspect an ulterior motive. I feel like crap trying to trick you into looking at me, Kazuki, but for now, I just want to feel your gaze. Just this once._

Kazuki flipped to a blank page in his sketchbook by means of response, running his eyes along the contours of Yuu's heart-shaped face. "It's a different shape and texture entirely..." Kazuki said half-attentively between sketches. "Your chin isn't as cleft as Taishi's... I mean, the way your face looks has things in common with other girls' faces, but..."

"But?"

"Well, you have some different quirks the way your face is. Your bone structure is a little more subtle... when you smile, unless you're really grinning, your cheeks don't dimple so much. Your skin has more of a creaminess to it, and your freckles become a lot more subtle in the light, too."

_He's noticed me... oh my God, he really **has** noticed me! He's seen stupid little things like that... I'm blushing. Stop blushing. STOP BLUSHING. Calm down. This could just mean he's really observant. _

_Kazuki? Notice something like this? Right. Sure._

"There," Kazuki said, making a few quick further sketches. He leaned forward and slid the sketchbook across to Yuu. "Is this better than what I've put out so far?"

Yuu picked up the sketch. It was still reflecting Kazuki's very shonen style, with defined lines and strong shading, but the look on Yuu's face was a neutral, open expression. He had adapted her eyes slightly to Yuu's own larger, anime-style eyes, yet keeping them within Aya's very realistic almond-shaped Asian characters. The sketch was rough, but Yuu could see the care that Kazuki had taken to detail the subtle, almost invisible impression of her cheekbones and even made a mild, mulled shading of the freckles that dotted the skin near her nose. Her hair was done with a similar sketchy quality, but it still showed attention to the heather-brown color and thick, smooth texture.

_I'm glad you see me like this, Kazuki... that somewhere fundamental, you see me as a girl. Not just someone else. I know that if you can see me like this, you have to be able to feel some sort of affection for me. Just the same way I see you, the same way I'd want to draw you... you drew me in the same manner._

"This is remarkable, Kazuki," Yuu said, inadvertently letting her voice drop an octave. "How did you manage to shift your style like this?"

_Hell with your style, when did you see me close enough to get all these little details down pat?_

"Just because my style's normally gritty and unrefined doesn't mean that I can't draw really well," Kazuki said as he leaned back onto the oakwood floor chair. "I tried some sketches like this for my first dojinshi, but at that point, I didn't see myself doing any work in any idioms other than what I knew really well. Three dojinshi later, I'm trying to diversify so I can connect with more readers. So I tried this."

"Well, I have to say, this is a very refreshing change, Kazuki," Yuu crossed her arms over her chest and nodded confidently. "I'm glad you didn't have Taishi buckling you down to get this going."

"You and me both. For once, I'm glad I'm doing a dojinshi for my own terms and reasons, rather than his."

"I don't mean to be intrusive, Kazuki, but... how long have you known Taishi? You two must be really close for him to be able to order you around like he does."

"You mean 'us three,'" Kazuki said, taking his mug of tea and breathing the vapors deeply. "Taishi, Mizuki, and I were in the same kindergarten and we've been friends ever since. We've been through everything, from Taishi and me trying to drag Mizuki into playing like she was one of the Cyborg 009 with us to the whole 'girls are icky' phase. We've been through it all together."

"But it seems like you're the only one who puts up with Taishi anymore."

"To be honest, he's always been dramatic like that, but it's only dojinshi that really got him to be serious about anything. Mizuki of course can't stand it... hell, ever since the frog incident in second grade, she's been wary of Taishi."

Yuu nodded. "I guess he ended up getting you into the right thing. I for one am glad he did."

"It's no big deal," Kazuki said, grinning and looking away from Yuu. "I mean, even Mizuki ended up coming around a little, and—"

The jangling electronic ring of Kazuki's cell phone interrupted him. "Speak of the devil herself," Kazuki said as he checked the caller ID display. "I'm sorry, Yuu, I don't mean to be rude. I'll be off as soon as I can."

"No worries." Yuu sipped her tea as she seethed.

_Who else could that be? Taishi would just burst through the door, Aya always knocks three times, he'd meet Chisa at school, he sees Reiko at work, and he doesn't hang out with Minami all that much except with Taishi and the others... dammit, Mizuki, you're going to owe me for this..._

"What's up, Mizuki?" Kazuki said as he pressed the Talk button and held the phone up to his ear.

"Yeah, I—" he started, then paused to listen. "Well, that's not until three, right?"

Another pause, then Kazuki checked his watch. "No, I didn't."

Yuu tilted her head, curious. Kazuki noticed her motion and covered the mouthpiece with his hand. "We're supposed to be going shopping soon, she's just wondering where I am," he whispered. Yuu nodded twice out of understanding.

_Let me guess, you need a new super-cute skirt to show off to your vapid little friends. The same ones who dragged you to that Christmas party, right? Oh, I remember that. I remember that loud and clear. You showed up in that damnable dress, you with your perfect 91-cm bustline. My boobs are small even for an Asian girl._

_Of course, I'd have worn that same dress if it'd have an effect on you... as much as it pains me to admit it._

"Mizuki, I _didn't_ forget!" Kazuki said, sighing. "I swear, I didn't. Look, Yuu is here right now." Pause. "How many other Yuus do I know, Mizuki?" Kazuki rolled his eyes, grinning. "Why're you so jealous all of a sudden?"

"I am _not_ jealous, you jerk!" Yuu heard the angry voice of Mizuki Takase from the cellphone. The tinny electronic voice was amplified enough to cause Kazuki to jerk away from the phone reflexively.

"Okay, okay, but I'll be there. 2:45. Right. Okay, don't worry. And I'll only carry your bags if you're carrying the check for tea later. Okay? Okay. I'll see you then. Bye."

_Geez. You don't deserve to be a whipping boy._

"I know, I know, things never do seem to change," Kazuki said sheepishly as he pocketed his phone. "But take heart; after we hit up Left Hand, the St. James, and Parco, she's letting me pick out some manga that she might like. It'll at least help curb her raging anti-dojinshi sentiment to the point where she can at least hang out with us."

"If she ever opens up, that is," Yuu grumbled. "I'll be the first to admit I overreacted a little when she first started insulting dojinshi, and yeah, she came around on Christmas Eve, but I still think she'll never understand people like us."

"I don't know about that... you two were talking from time to time after the summer Comic Party, weren't you?"

"Yeah, but not in any substantial manner. When do you have to go meet her?"

"Half an hour, but she's not far from here. I wanna get things all nailed down here before I head out."

"Okay, let's work on your characters."

**December 31st  
****Kobe**

_**I know there's a lot to you I don't know. But I want to know it. **_

_**I want to understand you well enough to get the vibes off of you that keep you running, that keep you moving. I really want to get your motivations down pat, Kazuki. Of all the people I know, of all the characters I've created or worked with, of everything I've drawn and written... you're the one who I want to stay with. **_

**_I know that you're closer to Mizuki just to start off than you are to me, but I don't see that as a problem. Hell, that contributes to the solution. Rather than think of her as your long-time friend since childhood, I see her as a foil for me. She's a nice person, don't get me wrong... well, okay, I really disagree with her and I hate the way she's so prejudicial, especially to you, but her presence can't be erased. I might as well deal with it._ **

_**But how do I deal with it? I'm no lilting violet, no great example of femininity. But dammit, I'm a girl, and I can beat her at her own game. We've got the same basic genes, and everything else stems from there. I know you're not the type of guy to drool over a girl's chest... I know I don't need to show off for you. That's refreshing, I'll say that much. I'm all about looking presentable, hell, even pretty, but I can't work in her style. **_

_**But that doesn't mean I can't work in mine. **_

_**I know there's got to be a way for you to notice me. Despite the fact that I dress like I'm about to go jogging, I do take great pride in my appearance.**_

_**The rest is just a matter of compatibility... and you already know enough about me, that we have the same interests... despite how brusque I can be sometimes, I know that you wouldn't go in for someone vapid and dumb. **_

_**So it looks like I'll have to pay Kenichi-san for the coffee and see if that cool store down off of the Kanjyo shopping arcade is still open...**_

**To be continued...**


	5. Winter Marches On

**A/N:** Back to the grind as usual. And for once, there's no uberness in my life to babble about in my opening! Aside from the fact that everyone needs to go read Cendrillo's Silence right now immediately.

I've already started work on my next project. I'm going to try and space it so I have some time to really work on the project as a whole while I work on Deeper Water, but hopefully I'll have a chance to take my time on the next project. The nature of it requires that it be completed before the end of December, but that won't be too troublesome, I think.

"Maki-yan" is Yuu's nickname for Minami. Reference volume 1 of the Tokyopop ComiPa manga if you don't believe me.

On with the show!

_4: Winter Marches On_

* * *

**   
January 12th   
****Ogikubo 21-12   
****Ogikubo, Tokyo   
****4:15 PM**

"Anyone home?" Yuu called as she opened the door of her uncle's apartment. Not really expecting anyone at this time of the day, she wasn't surprised to be greeted by the silence that led from the sitting room. Kicking excess ice off in the foyer, she hopped out of her brown school shoes and into her worn blue house slippers, and then headed into the kitchen to retrieve her favorite mug; it bore a long-faded logo of the Kobe Aquarium Park.

_Decisions, decisions,_ she thought, rubbing her chin as she opened the cabinet above the hot-water dispenser. The ubiquitous faucet-like appliance was filled every morning and left plugged in; it was a rare Japanese household that didn't have one for the near-constant intake of tea.

The cabinet, however, was her true interest; the modest three-shelved kitchen cupboard was the family's tea storage area, with a shelf each for black, green, and herbal teas.

_It's too cold for sencha. I'm not hungry enough for genmai tea. White tea is too mellow for a cloudy day like this. English tea... no, definitely not in the mood for something sweet right now. Dark, cloudy, burdened with emotion... today is an oolong tea day._

Yuu nodded with conviction, reaching for a tin on the black-tea shelf. The rectangular canister was red, with motifs of dragons and old-style Chinese art of valleys. Despite all the kanji she had studied over the years, Yuu still didn't understand a good chunk of the Chinese writing on the can.

_Who cares?_ She thought, pulling open the tightly-sealed lid of the tea canister. Closing her eyes, she took a deep whiff of the tea, but wrenched her nose when the tinglingly hearty scent of oolong tea was replaced by the artificial scent of wrought tin.

"When did we run out?!" Yuu adopted a look that was normally reserved for those who were being electrocuted after their favorite puppy was accidentally hit by a car. "It was a perfect afternoon for oolong tea..."

She scanned the cabinet for an acceptable substitute, but only oolong tea was oolong tea.

"Dammit, now I have to go back out." Yuu harrumphed her way through the apartment to her room, changed out of her school uniform into her familiar old jeans, striped long-sleeve shirt, and hoodie; she swiftly grabbed her messenger bag and checked her wallet.

"Just enough for a fresh can of tea," she folded up the tan leather billfold and slipped it into her messenger bag. "Uncle Hoshiro is sure as hell going to pay me back for this; he's the only other person that drinks oolong tea here."

Yuu sighed as she tromped to the foyer, half lamenting the absence of the perfect tea to match the present situation, and half angry that house slippers didn't make a more satisfying noise to signify anger. _No point in whining,_ she thought as she tied her favorite red sneakers. A bad knockoff of Chuck Taylors, they were nevertheless sturdy and warm, having been proven through many Kansai winters before.

"I'll be back soon," she half-announced, locking the door behind her and heading down the stairs of the apartment.

_The plan was to keep going from today, and then this had to happen,_ she thought as she rounded the squared-spiral staircase of the four-story apartment building. _I had a great mood going from the weekend just from being around Kazuki, and then I got it thrown off-kilter when he had to get yoinked by Mizuki. I had the perfect plot chain running for my dojinshi, I was getting it on the storyboard, and because of that, I didn't hear a word in class from lunch onwards. I was going to finish another four pages of layout before dinner, but I can't do that without my tea, dammit! _

The convenience stores in Ogikubo didn't carry tea, but luckily, the shopping lane near the JR station had a tea shop. Yuu bunched herself under her hoodie for warmth under the already darkening winter sky, lamenting having to be outside without something hot to drink. _This is my own fault for not buying that jacket in Kobe,_ she thought as she headed towards the Mandarake store. In the shadows of the big department store, the Shinsenseikyu Tea Shop's modest storefront displayed the classics of tea: large burlap sacks with Chinese and Indian writing on them, fake plastic tea bushes, and tea services in the Japanese, Chinese, and English styles alike.

_I always love the smell of this place..._

Yuu stepped in the store to the enthusiastic "Welcome!" of the half-Chinese owner. The balding, stately tall man bowed enthusiastically, and Yuu returned his greeting. He immediately returned to whatever occupied him behind the counter, scurrying from left to right, working simultaneously on balancing his books and ordering inventory, half-singing an old-sounding Chinese song to himself.

_I learned to draw in a place that smelled like this. Uncle Hoshiro's apartment, before he married Aunt Konoha, always had tea about it._ She picked up the usual brand of oolong tea, the same tin container as was already in the apartment, and held it up against a brand she hadn't tried yet.

"Dig the original names," Yuu deadpanned sarcastically to herself. "Golden Dragon or Golden Red Dragon. Oh, Eight Dragons. Dammit, as much as I like oolong tea, someone other than China has to produce it."

Tucking one of the new brands—Golden Red Dragon—under her arm, Yuu ventured off, grumbling at the lack of Taiwanese oolong teas. She was pondering Tungting oolongs, wondering if she really wanted to spend an extra thousand yen on the same amount of tea, when the door opened and closed again. "Welcome, welcome!" the owner's enthusiastic voice sounded out. "It's always so nice to see you, miss."

"No, really, Wei-san, the pleasure is mine," a friendly, soft female voice gently announced as the speaker walked in to the small tea shop. Yuu looked around the corner, having discarded the Tungting in favor of train fare to and from school. A tall, dark blond-haired woman wearing a dark blue skirt and a comfortable-looking collared sweater turned the corner towards the Japanese tea shelves.

_I could swear I knew who that was..._

The faint sound of humming echoed over the owner's scurrying behind the counter. "Can I help you with anything?" he piped up, noticing Yuu peering towards the shelves on the far end of the store.

Yuu shook her head. "I guess I got what I needed." She stepped up to the counter.

"Golden Red Dragon? Yes, yes, that's new in from Nantou by way of Guangdong," the tea man said with an appreciative nod. "This is a Taiwanese oolong that's processed in the Chinese style, so it costs less than a Tungting but still has the body of Taiwanese."

"Yeah? I needed a good, woody oolong. For a day like today, it's perfect."

"If this were my old store over in Mita, I would be more than happy to offer you some, especially on a day like today," the owner said good-naturedly, accepting Yuu's ¥930. "I hate sending you off without at least having a taste of what you're buying."

"It's part of the excitement;" Yuu grinned. "Like gambling with tea."

"Such a spirited approach to tea," the voice from earlier said from behind Yuu. She turned, greeted by a familiar smiling, bespectacled visage.

"Hey, Maki-yan!" Yuu greeted the older girl. "Fancy meeting you in a place like this, huh?"

Minami Makimura handed over a bill to the shopkeeper, holding up a can. "Just the usual again, Wei-san," she said as she handed over the bill. "Sorry to ignore you like that, Inagawa-san. I thought I recognized you. How are things with you?"

"Oh, up to no good as usual. We just ran out of oolong tea." Yuu tossed the canister from hand to hand idly as the two of them walked out of the store. "It's one of those oolong days, and I'm sorta deadlocked in my next project."

"Cold and cloudy means oolong, eh?" Minami asked, putting on the faux-fur trimmed coat that she had carried into the store. "I always thought that days like this were white tea days myself." She looked up at the sky, smiling gently. "The tea looks a lot like the clouds when you brew it in the right color of mug."

"That's pretty deep." The two set off towards the end of the shopping arcade.

"Tea is, after all, a matter of taste. I'm just hoping that you're able to find the right tea to help you on your dojinshi, Inagawa-san."

"Maki-yan, I know I've told you that you don't have to be so formal," Yuu grinned, stretching her arms behind her head. "Just call me Yuu."

"Right, of course. What sort of dojinshi are you working on now?"

"Actually, I'm not the only one. You remember Kazuki, right? He, myself, and Aya Hasebe are all contributing to one joint issue."

"Oh!" Minami clasped her hands together excitedly. "That's wonderful. You're all very talented; I do hope everything comes together in time for Comic Party. Are you heading home now?"

"Yeah, I should start getting back to work, although I'm still trying to pull out some more ideas. I had something in my head all day during school, but I lost it when I realized we were out of tea."

"Well, if you're not busy, would you like to join me for some tea in a more drinkable form?" Minami held up the plastic bag containing her sencha. "I usually stop by the Pageturner on my way back from Wei-san's. His shop always puts me in the mood for tea."

"I wish I could, but I spent my last cash on restocking the oolong supplies of the Inagawa household." Yuu shrugged. "Definitely another time, though."

"Don't let something like that keep you," Minami said with a smile. "If you'd like, I can cover for you."

"I couldn't..." Yuu shook her head. "As much as I could use the break, the last thing I need right now is having to owe extra money. Besides, I'd rather it be the other way around."

"Then consider it a thank-you from the Comic Party Preparatory Committee," Minami stopped walking in front of the glassed-in windows of the Ogikubo Pageturner Café. "You've been a part of the dojinshi scene that helped make ComiPa possible in the first place, as well as an enthusiastic participant. It benefits us if you sign up for a booth to sell at the upcoming ComiPa, so I'd like to think it's in my best interest to look after clients and comrades." Minami smiled a modestly winning smile.

"When you put it that way..." Yuu groaned. "Way to guilt me, Maki-yan."

"You don't have to, but you seem a little less energetic than normal."

"Well..." Yuu hesitated a moment. "Okay, but don't be surprised if I don't want to spend too much of your money."

"And don't be surprised if I said you didn't have to worry about my money."

* * *

Yuu poured some of the Imperial pouchong tea from the strainer into her teacup, a Western-style porcelain piece with a Dutch earthenware pattern. She swirled the tea in the mug, just staring at the mottled brown tea as it thinly coated the sides of the mug. It warmed her hands quickly, which was the primary reason that Yuu drank so much tea during the winter anyway. She set the strainer down on the small circular table at which they sat, tucked into a warmer corner of the café.

"They rarely have pouchong here," Yuu said as she kept her eyes locked on the tea. "I've been here a few times in the past, and even as early as last week." She looked up at Minami. "You couldn't have planned this at a better time, Maki-yan."

Minami sipped her green tea. "It was no trick of timing, Yuu. It just seemed like you needed someone to talk to."

"Well, yeah..." Yuu finally took a sip of the tea. It fit the day even better than she thought, with a fresh, roasty flavor that mimicked the woody depths of an oolong. "It's just... well, y'see, I've never been one to hold back on much of anything, but I really haven't had an out for a lot of things in my life lately..." she trailed off, her face adopting a look of confusion. "I don't know how to explain it, really."

Minami set her teacup down and folded her hands together. "I spoke with Taishi the other day," she said innocently. "He mentioned something about practicing tying a mens' necktie?"

_Dammit, Taishi! Is THIS your way of treating something with discretion?!_

"I wish he didn't tell anyone about that..." Yuu sighed. "Better you than anyone else, I suppose."

"He did seem somewhat concerned. I must admit, I'm fairly excited for you, though."

"Excited? What do you mean?"

Minami leaned back in her chair. "I don't mean to pry, but is this the first boy you've ever really had feelings for?"

Yuu grit her teeth before she answered. "Yeah... this is the first time. I had my share of playing doctor when I was little and stupid little crushes that never went anywhere, but this is the first time I've ever felt like I had a chance."

Minami nodded. "If you have a chance, then what's standing in your way?"

"Well, two things... my own nerves, which I can overcome if I just really put myself to it... and the fact that there may be someone else."

"'There may be?'"

"Yeah. I don't know how he feels towards her... or even towards me, for that matter. She's spent so much more time with him in the past and they spend so much more time together now. I can't stand the fact that they have almost nothing in common, too. Everything he likes, she's vehemently opposed to. I mean, yeah, she's been getting better, and it's not like I dislike her as a person, but—" Yuu stopped speaking, realizing that she had just thrown out quite a stream of consciousness at Minami.

"Sorry about that. I kinda lost track of where things started and began; they've been up in my head for so long."

Minami extended a hand and laid it gently on top of Yuu's for a moment. "Let it out if you need to," she said softly. "I don't want to pry, so I won't ask anything other than what you'd want me to ask."

Minami withdrew her slim hand, leaving a gently warm feeling. Yuu nodded and took a deep breath.

"I really love him... I mean, to the point that I really do want to see him happy. I want to see him successful, I want to see him enjoy himself in everything he does. It's just to do that... I don't know if it's with me or this other girl. The way he moves, the way he does things and goes about his life... they seem so simple, so basic, but after I saw what I saw, after I spent the times with him that I did... I feel like I know him so much better. I feel like I can bring out those wonderful traits in him..."

Yuu took another sip of her tea, sighing deeply. This was the first time she had really spoken this to someone else, to a tangible human being. The reality of it finally sank into her as she looked up, into Minami's dark hazel eyes, still clear despite her relatively thick glasses.

"Minami, I want him to be happy, but I want him to be with _me,_" Yuu let out, looking down into her teacup. She swallowed against the lump that was forming in her throat. "I don't want to mess it up. The way I feel in the pit of my stomach when I'm with him is just so wonderful. I don't want to mess it up. I know that normally, I go about things brusquely and straight to the point... but what if that backfires? What if he hates me for it?"

Yuu looked up from her tea. "All I've been able to do so far is try and put my ideal situation into dojinshi form. It's pathetic. I'm working with Kazuki and Aya for a Valentine's special release, and all I can think about is what I want to happen with this guy... all I can do is put it into dojinshi form and gloss it over in the sense that I'm trying to work with a new idea. When in reality... I'm a liar, and I'm a self-inserter. That's two things I hate to be."

Minami nodded. "It's never easy, is it?" she asked rhetorically, taking a final sip of her tea. "But let me ask you this... would you truly be satisfied if he knew how you felt and he didn't feel the same way?"

"I... I don't think I'd be _satisfied_... I wouldn't be happy, but I couldn't force him, of course. No, I wouldn't be truly satisfied... but I know I'd have to deal with that..." Yuu rubbed her eyes gently, already close to tears from pouring her soul out. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and re-composed herself.

"If that's how he truly felt, I'd accept it eventually," she said, finally sitting up straight in her chair with her hands flat on the table.

Minami nodded. "But the problem is that you haven't yet told him how you feel."

"And therein lies the problem," Yuu said flatly.

Minami nodded. "It's never easy making that leap from friends to more than friends. That's why it's making a leap, and not necessarily a given for any friendships."

"So you mean I'm basically on the same footing as the other girl?"

"Yuu, in so many different anime and manga, there's a confession of feelings that usually puts itself as a dramatic point. Sometimes, it leads to a reciprocation of those feelings. Other times, it leads to a rejection. Even others, it leads to retaining the status quo between the two people. The latter two, of course, are never easy to stick with."

"Yeah... I try not to think too much about what happens if he doesn't feel the same way."

"But that's why you have a chance," Minami said with a smile. "If you focus on the good things, if you work hard towards making the good things a reality, you won't have to be preoccupied with what could go wrong. I know you well enough that you wouldn't preoccupy yourself with it anyway, and you haven't yet."

Yuu shook her head. "No, I haven't... that's pretty uncanny of you, Maki-yan."

Minami put the tips of her fingers together, forming a thin steeple with her hands. "You deserve happiness, Yuu. Everyone does. Yes, you may be rejected, but you may also find something more beautiful in the relationship. I can't tell you what to do or how to do it, or even if you should do it. Those and all other decisions are all up to you. But if you do pursue this boy, you should do so purely, and with all your heart."

Yuu blinked away some tears that were still remaining in her eyes as her heart pounded a little more heavily. "You're right..." she said quietly. "I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else."

"When one voice echoes in a small room, the same voice and the same words only become louder with every echo," Minami postulated. "But when spoken to the ocean, all you hear is the ocean."

"I'm going to write that one down and steal it if you're not careful."

"I've got as much to share as there is tea in Wei-san's shop," Minami smiled. "I'm just glad I could help you on your way, Yuu."

* * *

Yuu bowed formally to Minami as they parted ways at the Ogikubo JR station. "Thank you for everything, Maki-yan. I hope one day I can repay you properly."

"It's nothing to repay," Minami said, holding up her hands. "But how will you get to and from school, Yuu? You didn't have to pay for the tea like that."

"It was the very least I could do. I'll extract the money from my uncle; he'll owe me for the tea. I owe you so much for the help; you're as wise as they come."

"Yuu, you know you can call on me whenever you need. I'll help wherever and whenever I can. You have my cell phone number, right?"

Yuu nodded exuberantly. "You can call on me for anything you need, too," Yuu pressed her thumb to her chest triumphantly. "From hefting boxes to hostage negotiations, Karamitei is at your service."

"Well, I just need to get back to the office then," Minami waved and smiled, heading through the gates of the station. "Good luck, and keep me informed as to what happens!"

Yuu briskly walked home, energized by the tea and Minami's advice, dashed up the stairs, and flipped to a blank page in her sketchbook. She did a quick layout of blossoming cherry trees, a staple of Japan in the springtime, and rewrote the first frame of her dojinshi:

"I have no regrets, Hiroshi. I loved you every moment that I could, and I would do it all over again in an instant. I have no regrets."

**December 31st   
****Kobe**

**_I never considered an outfit like that. It's probably why I didn't end up buying it. I never saw anything wrong with how I dress. I think it's cute enough, and it's definitely comfortable. But that... this is WINTER. I'd freeze. At least my legs would._**

_**Then why the hell did I try it on? **_

_**Yeah, I bought my hoodie here at Dokiko, and my American shoes, too. They said that all the artistic types in the States wear shoes like these. I trust Dokiko for clothes that I like, that stand out a little. But this is something entirely different.**_

_**Here I am, though, looking at myself in the mirror, with the complete outfit. A white mock-turtleneck shirt, dark red pleated miniskirt, and really nice half-and-half Oxfords. It'd look great with dark brown socks so long as they're not the damn loose socks that junior high school girls wear. This is sophisticated, it's basic, it's something Kazuki might even like on me. **_

_**Pair it with this jacket and it'd be perfect... God, if only I could afford it! Dark brown leather, buckle closers, and white trim... I love the way it all looks. Hell, for someone as short and slim as me, it makes me look more feminine... hell, the placement of the closers on the jacket make my boobs look just a little bit bigger. I could use the extra, that's for sure. **_

_**Even without the jacket... **_

_**I can't find a reason not to buy it. I've got all the art supplies I need, I picked up some dojinshi at the shop from earlier... dammit, I want this jacket, too. I've never really WANTED wanted a certain outfit before, but this is something I really want. I don't have anything else to match it. **_

_**I guess I'll do what I can with what I have... and for nine thousand yen with the Oxfords, it's really a good bargain. I guess Kansai folks have to go back to Kansai to really bargain-hunt amongst their roots. **_

_**I need an excuse. I need a reason to wear this for Kazuki. **_

_**I need to take the initiative and do something. **_

**To be continued...**


	6. Interlude: One of Those Days

**A/N:** Again, if you want to see the outfit that Yuu is wearing, go to www dot photobucket dot com slash albums slash v192 slash Roque slash Comic Party. You'll be able to find Yuu in that outfit if you look enough. I mean, seriously, she looks great in that outfit, doesn't she?

Also, keep in mind that since the entire chapter is a flashback, the ending is a flash-forward, putting us back into the absolute present of the story.

I'm thinking of doing updates of future chapters with the actual lyrics of the song that inspired the chapter title. Since this isn't really a series of songfics, it doesn't seem that it's necessary, and if you're really enterprising to know the lyrics, you can just Google the song titles. Please E-mail or review with your thoughts!

Beta readers wanted! Cendrillo and Marivel have been nothing but helpful, and I'd like to expand the ranks. If anyone wants me to beta their stuff in exchange, I'll happily do so. Interested beta-ers, E-mail me through the E-mail Author link in my profile.

* * *

_ Interlude: One of Those Days_

**Kobe  
****December 31st  
5:45 PM**

"I'm ba-" Yuu announced as she stepped into the house, stopping herself when she saw three unfamiliar pairs of shoes in the foyer. _Oh, I didn't know we had guests._

She stepped out of her sneakers and into her slippers, moving quietly to her room as not to disturb the guests. She carried the two large paper shopping bags with her carefully. After all, this was a ryokan, and ryokans didn't have the owners' daughters yelling messing up what was meant to be a relaxing soak at an old hot spring.

"You don't have to sneak around like that," a young boy's voice said from behind a door. "They went out a while ago."

"Dammit, Shuichi, don't scare me like that!" Yuu exclaimed, dropping her bags and throwing aside the shoji door to her brother's room. She breathed rapidly, not expecting her brother to perk up.

"Whatever." Shuichi was sitting at his desk, pencil twirling in his hand, obviously working on schoolwork. "You gonna stand there and shriek all night?"

"Awww, am I interrupting your little junior high learning? What a pity that you gotta concentrate the quarter of a brain you have left on—" Yuu looked over his shoulder with a lording-over look on her face. "Japanese history?! You don't know who the emperor was during the war?"

"Shut up! I've got this, world history, algebra and world lit to do before we go out tonight, so bug me later, you degenerate harper!"

"Don't you mean harpy?"

Shuichi threw a book at Yuu, which was easily dodged.

"You're worse in the brain and in aim than Eimi," Yuu stuck her tongue out.

Shuichi stopped glaring at Yuu and suddenly started snickering.

"What? What's so funny?"

Shuichi broke out into laughter as he turned back to his homework. "Oh, this is great! You don't have a clue!" Shuichi doubled over on his desk.

"You're too weird even for me, Shu-chan," Yuu resorted to his hated nickname to try and anger him further. No change was elicited from his hysterics, though; she shrugged, slid his door shut, and picked up her bags, tossing them onto her bed idly.

_I actually bought it. I knew I'd do it, but I still don't believe it._

Yuu tentatively overturned the contents of her bags onto her bed. They spilled out the contents of any breathing otaku's shopping expedition: manga from Kinokuniya, a few extra boxes of Pocky for the train ride back on Sunday, and the new Battle Assault PS2 game.

Of course, entirely un-standard was the white Dokiko garment box that tumbled on top of Yuu's latest acquisitions.

She opened the box, looking down at the outfit inside. Silently, she just peered at it, then down at herself.

_Why not try it on again?_ she thought as she held out an arm, rolling the sleeve of her hoodie up. _Hell, I can wear it to dinner. Mom'll never know what hit her, and Dad's coming home today. I should be a little dressy._

Yuu unzipped her jeans, folding them up at the foot of her bed. She undid the clasp of the skirt, stepping into it and zipping it up under the fold of a pleat, edging the clasp back into place deftly.

_I'm glad I shaved my legs this morning,_ she thought as she pulled off her white athletic socks for brown ones. _I just hope I don't freeze._ The hoodie and shirt came off next, followed by her bra as she traded black for white. _All the better to not show under the turtleneck._

_I still wish I'd bought that jacket. It really, really brought the outfit together. Well, let's take a look again... this time, in my own mirror. Not in Dokiko or any other clothing store, not a fancy three-view mirror... but this is **my** mirror. I've seen myself in this for years. Time to see me now..._

Yuu stepped up to the mirror, holding her hands together loosely in front of herself in a remarkably feminine gesture.

_Wow... it still looks good on me. In the light of the store, in this light, in any light... no, wait... one last thing, one last thing to make it perfect. Ever the obsessive artist, Inagawa..._

Yuu retrieved two small hair ties from a drawer full of paired ties in her dresser, bringing them back in front of the mirror. She reached behind her back and tossed one of her light brown pigtails over her shoulder, untying the green ribbon that held it at the bottom. She deftly replaced it with one of the new ties, these being twin white poofballs held together by a scrunchie tie. Another few quick twists secured the other poofball hair tie onto the other pigtail.

_That ties it all together well enough, _she spun with a smile in the mirror. The skirt undulated outward a little, not short enough as to require government regulation, but not too long as to obscure her trim, smooth legs. _I can't believe that I'm enjoying this. I never wore clothes like this just because I wanted to. I mean, you're not going to see me out of anything I'm not comfortable in, but..._

She stopped posing for a moment and turned her back to the mirror, looking over her shoulder. _But... will it work? _She stretched her back a little, trying the standard ritual of trying to make her chest appear bigger._ I have boobs that are only slightly bigger than my damn brother's. Freakin' 72 centimeters... fine, so my figure isn't going to be my #1 asset. But damned if I don't look really cute in this outfit. It needs the jacket, but I'll be able to make it work somehow..._

The front doors to the ryokan opened and closed, and a familiar set of voices echoed upwards to the family's living area. "I'm back!" Sakiko Inagawa, Yuu and Shuichi's mother, called. "Our guests are a few minutes behind us, but I brought your father along just for kicks."

"Hi!" Shuichi yelled out. "Yuu's back. I'm doing my homework."

Yuu was already hurrying down the hall to greet her father. She didn't make much noise as she quickly walked, wearing only socks on her feet, and took the opportunity to slide sideways on the floor. It didn't take long for Yuu to build up enough steam, but as she readied a hearty "Hi, Dad!" and kicked off into her one-footed slide, a shoji door to a guest room slid open.

With a thunk and a tumble, Yuu collided with the guest who was stepping out of the room, ending up in a tumble of arms, legs, and torso.

"Yuu-chan! Are you all right?" Sakiko exclaimed, dashing over to the crash site.

"I'll be fine," Yuu sat up and rubbed her bruised elbow. "I guess I'm just channeling a business partner of mine. Oh, are you okay?" she turned and asked the guest as her face went pale.

"You!"

"You!"

A pair of accusing fingers pointed in crossing directions, as if emulating the final face-off of a John Woo film. The tangled mess turned into an angry mess as Yuu Inagawa and Eimi Oba faced each other down in the hallway of the Inagawa ryokan.

"Oh..." Sakiko said with a sigh. "You've already met one of our guests."

"All this time I thought that this was a reputable ryokan," Eimi haughtily exclaimed, standing up and profusely dusting herself off. "Yet they have pandas running around in the halls! I should have thought you'd migrate back to your home cave for the winter, stupid panda."

"Eimi, if you're running out of sycophants to beg for an autograph in Tokyo, you're not going to find a new army of zombies in Kobe. The masses aren't that ignorant out here."

"Aww, the panda's getting angry with me!" Eimi stuck her tongue out. "I guess you had to come recover from crushing defeat after crushing defeat at all the conventions this year, huh? I guess this panda's losing her claws!"

"Hey, keep it down out there, Yuu, I'm tryin' to do my homework!" Shuichi yelled, storming out of his room angrily.

"Don't talk to me; talk to the other harper," Yuu tossed her head at Eimi.

"What, you have some sort of problem, junior panda?" Eimi growled at Shuichi.

"Um... no, no problems, Eimi-san, I was just talking to my idiot sister," Shuichi said a lot more quietly, backing into his room and avoiding Eimi's angry eyes. "I'll be in here if you need me."

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Yuu almost sneered. "Of all the saké joints in all the world, why'd you have to walk into mine?"

"Blame it on my parents, not me. I'd have been perfectly happy with anywhere else, but they're the ones who're friends here, and that's the direct opposite of you and me!"

"Oh, I blame your parents for a lot of things, Eimi, your birth primary among them!"

"What was that, you stupid panda?!"

"Nice to see the two of them are as they've always been," Yuu's father, Hitoshi, observed sotto voce as he stepped up beside his wife.

"I haven't even told her about dinner yet," Sakiko whispered to Hitoshi. "Maybe we ought to hold off on that for now."

"Look, just do your thing and don't make too much noise," Yuu turned her back on Eimi and crossed her arms. "Mom, Dad, if you need me, I'll start on dinner in the kitchen. Maybe if I've got knives within arm's reach, she'll leave me alone."

"Um..." Sakiko smiled cautiously. "Yuu-chan, about dinner tonight..."

**Japanese noodle house Masaya  
Nakayamate-dori 1-8-21  
7:45 PM**

"Here's to a happy and healthy new year!" Hitoshi called out, hoisting a big bottle of Orion beer and pouring it. "It's so nice to see you all again. Do you girls drink yet?"

"Heavily, so long as she's around," Eimi and Yuu simultaneously deadpanned while pointing their thumbs at each other. They followed up their mistaken simultaneity with matching angry stares that looked lethal enough to violate the Geneva Convention.

"Are you sure it's okay for them to be drinking?" Eimi's father raised his eyebrow in concern.

"Dear, it's a holiday," Eimi's mother sighed. "Besides, maybe if they get a little drunk, they'll be less at each other's throats."

"Well, drink up, then!" Hitoshi shrugged as he filled the girls' glasses, tending to the rest of the table.

Everyone clinked their glasses in one big circle, echoing a "Kampai!" Eimi and Yuu avoided contacting their glasses, a task made easier thanks to Shuichi sitting between them and obviously trying to get closer to Eimi.

"So how is school going, Yuu-san?" Eimi's father asked as he took a pull on his beer.

"Pretty well. My school in Tokyo isn't that different from Seishin High, and I've made a couple of friends."

"That's good to hear. We thought you'd stay in Kobe after you decided you were going to go to school for a business degree, but Tokyo's a good place to cut your teeth. It's the governmental and business capital after all."

"If you need anything, we'd be more than happy to help you out," Eimi's mother chimed in with a smile. "Goro and I both work in fairly major companies, and we can arrange internships or co-op studies if you run into it."

"Thank you very much," Yuu nodded deeply in an approximation of a bow. "I'm still studying for entrance exams, but maybe when college actually starts, I'll be able to do that."

"Not to brag, but she's going in for honors, too," Hitoshi bragged, initiating the usual trading of brags that went on between proud parents.

Eimi reached for a tempura shrimp on the plate that lay in the middle of the long, low table. "So what're you doing here anyway, panda girl?" she asked, mouth half full of shrimp.

"Learn some manners, Eimi Obaka," Yuu punned as she sipped on her beer.

Eimi glared at Yuu again, took another pull on her beer, and sat back haughtily, her legs crossed under the low table. "Hmph. Just keep in mind that I want to be here with you even less than you want to be here with me, panda," she harrumphed.

"Yeah, me too," Shuichi whined. "I still have tons of homework to do."

"You I have to live with each other, so I'm used to it," Yuu sighed as the grown-ups babbled on with each other. "But you—the fact that we're sharing a roof just outright sucks."

"Same here!" Eimi crossed her arms angrily and turned her chin away from Yuu. "I'll be gone as soon as you are, anyway."

"Fine by me," Yuu reached for a chunk of grilled tuna.

"Don't listen to my stupid sister, Eimi-san; you can stay as long as you like, if you want," Shuichi shyly poked around a piece of tempura with his chopsticks.

"Why, thank you, Shuichi," Eimi stuck her tongue out at Yuu. "I guess that panda blood only runs on the female line of your family. It's nice to know that true genius is appreciated around here." She threw an arm around Shuichi, almost choking him; if this was a problem to him, Shuichi didn't seem to voice any objection.

"Traitor!" Yuu elbowed Shuichi.

"You think we should have brought the girls?" Sakiko asked Hitoshi.

Hitoshi shrugged. "They used to be such good friends. I guess that something crossed their paths that put forth some kind of animosity."

"I don't know about animosity, though. If they really hated each other, how come they're even interacting?" Sakiko tossed her head in Yuu and Eimi's direction; Shuichi was holding Yuu back, her harisen raised up and ready to strike.

"How come you're so dressed-up anyway, panda?" Eimi raged. "Are you trying to shed your fur for a new winter coat or something?!"

**WHAP!**

"You did deserve that one, dear," Eimi's mother sighed. "Can't we all just enjoy some New Year's soba like old days?"

"Only because your parents are decent people," Yuu narrowed her eyes at Eimi, "and only because of that am I even here at the same table as you, Eimi Obaka."

"Oh, that's nice, because I'm only here because this old place deserves the acclaim and accolades that come with being the favorite soba shop of Cat or Fish!?," Eimi laughed conceitedly.

"Sorry to interrupt," a waiter interjected, sliding aside the shoji door of the private dining room with a free foot. His arms were burdened with two trays bearing huge steaming bowls. "Who ordered the toshikoshi soba?"

"Right here!" everyone at the table exclaimed happily in unison. Eimi and Yuu traded a nasty look, but that was it; for New Year's soba noodles, the Karamitei/Cat or Fish?! rivalry was put on hold.

_How come she's dressed like that?_ Eimi thought as she slurped the hot noodles. _Panda girl's usually not so defensive, either... curiouser and curiouser..._

As she finshed the long slurp, Eimi tilted her head and tried to jut herself into her rival's line of sight, but Yuu was focused firmly on the bowl of soba, slurping less loudly than the others around her as she stared into the thin broth with a look more of spacedness than concentration.

_You're far too quiet, panda. What's going on in that bear-claw brain of yours?_

**January 16th  
Harajuku, Tokyo  
2:45 PM**

_**With my own two eyes, nothing less. **_

_**I was out doing something I haven't done since I was back in Kobe—shopping for clothes. Specifically, I wanted the jacket for this outfit. I can't wear it with the hoodie anymore... I just knew I'd look better with something that works with the outfit. I saved up for a couple of weeks, so it wasn't that bad... no fresh set of Copics for me this week, I guess. I figured I could survive. I had finished with the rough sketches for the dojinshi, and I was going to meet with Aya and Kazuki later. If I could find the jacket by then, it'll all be perfect. A perfect Sunday. I had done what I needed for the dojinshi, I had enough for the jacket, and after trudging through Harajuku all morning, I found it.**_

_**I felt really good. I felt really feminine, but still like myself. That's a good sign, I thought. I felt like a million yen. Like I could go up to Kazuki, grab his arm, and go "Where've you been? I've been waiting for you!" He'd chuckle shyly, apologize, and we'd go meet Aya. The plan was that I wouldn't let go, though... that I'd ask him if he noticed anything different about me. Cheap, I know. Cliché, I know. But at least it'd get him looking at me. **_

_**I had put on the jacket—it's actually really comfortable, nice and warm—and I headed over to the subway station to head to Marvel Burger. **_

_**Everything would have been fine if I didn't see them like that. In the middle of the street, in a crowd thick enough that I'd have missed them if I didn't see them directly, I saw them and froze dead in my tracks.**_

**To be continued...**  



	7. Secret Oktober

**A/N:** What IS the proper term to describe Mizuki's ponytail? Side-ponytail? Ponytail on the side? Is there a proper hair term for that thing? Maybe I'm just not a Mizuki fanboy, but I don't like her hair. One of the CPM Comic Party mangas has a side story all about how Mizuki's ponytail placement affects her entire personality... it's worth the read just for that.

Anyway, enough babble. We're moving on into the final act if I've got anything to say about it (And I'm the author, so I do have something to say about it) and making something happen. I'm not sure if I want to go with something that keeps the ends tied together or something that blows the entire canon away, but let's all keep in mind that Comic Party was originally a dating sim... and Kazuki could end up with ANY of the girls (Even Ikumi. Eww. Smacks of illegal), not just Mizuki as we saw in the anime. Point is, theoretically, I or any other fanfic author could make Kazuki end up with anyone. Wink wink nudge nudge, depending on my mood...

I can't wait for volume 4 of the Tokyopop manga to come out! Finally, we get something on Asahi. All I've got are little clues from the CPM manga, and that's not nearly enough to base a character on. After the big project I'm working on along with this story comes to pass, maybe she'll be in it... that and Aya. She's on the freakin' cover. She hasn't had an erg of story whatsoever in the manga, and considering the backstory and tidbits we got on the other characters, this'd be a great boon. Keep in mind that 90 of my writing is interpolation, inference, and induction. I would kill to have a translation of the Comic Party game... sigh A fanboy can dream.

I did Black Friday this year... I was up at 4 AM with Marivel and her brother to go for mad bargains. 60 gig hard drive for $30? That's a damn fine deal. I got tons of blank CDs and DVDs, enough to last through the Apocalypse, and over the weekend I backed up and reformatted my hard drives to swap 'em around. I'm rearranging the controllers to get it to run faster. So yeah, that's my fun life since the last update.

On with the show!

* * *

_5: Secret Oktober_

**January 15th  
Vandalize Couture  
3-20-5 Jingumae  
Harajuku, Tokyo  
2:30 PM**

_This is actually really nice..._Yuu turned the jacket back over, holding it up against herself to get an impression of it. _Even has the buckle closures. It's more cocoa than dark brown, too, and the trim is poofy. It'll go with a little more. It's cuter. _

_Now for the bottom line..._

Yuu's eyes visibly flew open as the price had one zero less on the end than it did in Kobe.

"How is this so cheap?" Yuu effused to the salesgirl, handing over the ¥8700 for the jacket.

"That's the beauty of Vandalize" the girl said, picking up the jacket and folding it to fit into a Vandalize garment box. "We do buybacks of our own line; this one came with a bunch of others. An entire wardrobe, I think."

_An entire wardrobe? Damn, I gotta come back with more money._

_No! Bad Yuu! You're supposed to be a dojinshi otaku, not a fashionista. There are better things to waste your money on._

Yuu waited until she was out of the shop to discard the box and put on the jacket. It was warm for January, and she had elected to go out with her new outfit on rather than her old trademark. All the better to surprise Kazuki with when she met up with him and Aya to start working to synchronize their final plans on their dojinshi. Despite the warmth, she felt warmer having something on over her shirt.

_We've got this meeting and then all of next week to get things hammered down._ Yuu pulled on the jacket, adjusting the belt-like closures, getting comfortable in the coat. It was a very good quality suede, thinly lined but still very warm.

_Perfect. I finally have it all together. Time to head off to meet up with the rest of the circle. If I get there early enough, I'll have a few minutes with him before Aya shows up..._

As she turned the corner onto the thick Sunday crowds on Meiji-dori, Yuu had to jostle for position in the throng of people. It was a real sea of humanity in the small street, with most people wearing elaborately strange clothes and fashions more worthy of a cosplay contest than normal street wear.

_To each their own..._ Yuu raised an eyebrow as two young boys with heavy amounts of makeup, matching black-and-white striped jester-like outfits, and red-feathered wings walked by, jabbering in high-pitched voices.

Yuu stepped up onto the vestibule of another clothing store to avoid the winged strangely-dressed pair, scanning ahead for an opening.

_Hey, if I didn't know better, that'd be..._

The distinctive red ponytail drew her eye as she looked towards Takeshita Street, which led to the Harajuku JR station.

_I wonder where Mizuki's off to. Maybe I could score another female opinion on the outfit, see if I need to do anything else with it._

Yuu raised her arm and was just about to yell "Hey, Mizuki!" when her breath was suddenly caught in her lungs.

Mizuki had reached back into the store she had emerged from and pulled Kazuki out, mock-forcefully. He was carrying two large white shopping bags in one hand, and his backpack in another. Kazuki nearly avoided tripping over one of the bags, but Mizuki helped him stay up on his feet, propping him up.

As he restored his balance, though, she saw them exchange a few words and smiles. Mizuki gave Kazuki a quick hug, but worst of all, she didn't let go of his arm when they headed off in the opposite direction from Yuu.

_No. That didn't happen._

Yuu flopped down onto the veranda of the store, took a deep breath, and exhaled with a sudden, burning calmness.

_Don't delude yourself. Take a step back. Take stock of the situation. In that outfit, you only **look** like a typical cute teenage girl. Doesn't mean you have to whine all over the place. Do what you can right now. What can you do? _

_You saw what you saw. What didn't you see, though? No kisses, no lingering looks, nothing obviously dangerous. But still..._

The crowds around Harajuku kept flowing, blending the indescribable, the contemporary, the classic, all the styles of clothing and all the makes of people around them. Yuu stood up and lost herself in the crowds, simply flowing and walking forward.

_I kept forgetting that part. I kept thinking that I didn't have to worry about anything else. Competition... that's the right word for it, competition. But I don't want to compete with Mizuki. _

_Get it together. They'll be waiting for you at Marvel Burger. Just get it together. Keep it together. Think, Yuu. Think._

The ride on the train, the transfer, and the walk to Marvel Burger passed in a fatigued, empty feeling as Yuu simply tuned out the rest of the world. She felt a swirling, dizzy sense of anxiety as she tried to figure out how to deal with the sudden influx of Mizuki.

_What can I do to prevent this from becoming worse? _

_What **have** I done to prevent this? _

_Yeah... what have I done indeed..._

Yuu sighed as she pushed open the glass door to Marvel Burger. She was a few minutes early; ignoring the "Welcome!" from the girl at the counter, she grabbed a seat, smoothed out the pleats of her skirt, and sighed, propping her arms up on the back of the bench where she sat.

"So what should I do?" she asked the ceiling.

"You must take action, my sister," the ceiling replied.

"Dammit, Taishi!" Yuu's cheeks erupted in a serious blush, her harisen appearing from out of nowhere as she leapt to her feet and glared at the ceiling. "Show yourself!"

The corkboard ceiling tiles didn't move an inch.

"I know you're up there. I _heard_ you. There sure as hell isn't some damn Kerotan in there croaking at me, that's for sure!"

Sound-absorbent to the end, the corkboard yielded nothing.

Exasperated, Yuu wound up and prepared to lunge upward with a harisen Hadouken. As she reared back to deliver the killing throw, though, the harisen gave off a loud whap.

"My stealth camouflage seems to be without regard to its primary function," Taishi calmly spoke through the harisen across his face. "I applaud your deductive reflexes, my sister."

"Forget that!" Yuu reached up and grabbed Taishi by the lapels of his suit jacket, physically hauling him down; no small feat indeed for the very petite girl. "You didn't hear anything, you got that?"

"I indeed heard nothing, my sister, nothing at all," Taishi grinned maniacally. "I merely interpolated and guessed, and you managed to prove me more right than I thought I could have been."

**WHAP!**

"I deserved that," Taishi picked up his glasses from the floor before Yuu could follow through with a double slap. "But don't you think that the time for venting your anger has since passed, comrade Yuu? Are you not yet prepared to move forward?"

"I'll move YOU forward, Taishi," Yuu shoved Taishi into the booth bench opposite hers. "Siddown and tell me how long you've been involved in this and every single fact you know to be true."

"I know one thing to be true, my sister, and one thing that makes all truths paramount," Taishi crossed his arms and closed his eyes in his version of a wise man speaking. "It is regardless how you or anyone else feels, but the one thing is this."

Yuu tapped her harisen on the table impatiently.

"Feelings are meant to be expressed, my sister. It is up to the feeler how it is to be done."

"Taishi, I know you're hiding something critical from me."

"Why would you think that, my sister?"

"Doesn't it benefit you in some way?" Yuu growled. "I know that you never act irrationally. You probably plan out when you have to use the restroom in order to advance whatever goals are in that propaganda-soaked lump of a brain that you've got."

"I realize it may seem this way, comrade," Taishi placed a hand flat on the table. "But do you think that there is truly no point at which my goals end and my humanity begins?"

"Taishi, I've known you since I came to Tokyo and I have never had any reason to see that whatsoever." Yuu's voice was devoid of emotion, as cold and truthful as she could get.

_I'm tired of your interference. I want to believe that you're looking out for Kazuki, but dammit, in times like this, how do I know you're not trying to manipulate me like you manipulated him?!_

Taishi didn't flinch in the least from Yuu's words. "I see," he calmly spoke. "If you don't trust me, I can't force you to do so. But I do only hope that you'd realize I have nothing to gain from alienating you, nor do I have anything to gain from forcing your emotional state."

"Then _why_ should I even listen to _you_ about how **_I_** feel?!"

"Because I can see how you feel, Yuu. Why else would you want to practice straightening a necktie? Why else would you dress up for him? Why else would you be so angry right now if something hadn't already happened that went against your feelings and desires?"

Yuu clutched her harisen tightly enough to crumple the thick paper that it was made out of. Seething, she willed her right arm to smack him with the paper fan, clenching a fist with her left hand to follow up. Wanting nothing more than to strike Taishi down, fulfilling old sayings about Hell having no fury like a woman scorned, she took a deep breath and prepared to attack; she then stunned herself by settling back into the booth bench.

"Taishi..." Yuu said, after taking three deep breaths. "What is it that you want to happen?"

"For once, comrade, I don't have a goal in mind," Taishi tucked his hands together and leaned forward towards Yuu. "I just want to see everyone come out of this happy, and I want us all to still be together when it's all said and done."

"Even if that means one of us is going to have their heart broken?"

Taishi was silent.

Yuu slumped forward a little. "Dammit, this sucks."

"Matters like this are never to be taken lightly, my sister," Taishi sympathized. "But I would not let this go as it stands now. You haven't yet had the chance to take action on your feelings."

"Taishi, you've known them forever. What if this ruins your friendship? What if Mizuki and Kazuki grow to hate each other because I threw my wrench in the works?"

"If you are truly that worried, and if you are truly prepared to put others before yourself in all things, then do nothing, comrade. But if you have something you must find out, something you must know to make yourself more of yourself, is it not your imperative to make good on that question?" Taishi propped his chin up on his folded hands. "Are you an egoist, or do you have no self-esteem? It is not an easy choice, but such is the nature of such choices. You must make the choice. I cannot do it for you."

"You make it sound like black and white."

"Comrade Yuu, if we humans could deny our feelings and negate them then and there, do you think we wouldn't have done so long ago?"

"Yeah... you've got a point."

"I know it's hard. But I think you should know by now that I'm your friend, and I'll support you through thick and thin. I can do this because I know you'd do the same for me as I speed onward towards conquering the w-"

**WHAP!**

"Point taken, comrade." Taishi managed to catch his glasses in mid-air this time.

"Taishi, would you honestly be okay with me dating Kazuki?"

"Get to that point first, my sister. But remember..." Taishi clasped his arms around himself as if embracing an invisible lover. "I saw him first..."

"You're nuts, Taishi," Yuu poked him with her harisen and broke down laughing.

"You two okay?" a familiar voice asked.

"Where've you been?!" Yuu leapt up, her troubles forgotten, punching Kazuki in the shoulder. "You kept me alongside the Chairman here."

"Sorry, I got dragged into shopping again," Kazuki sighed, sitting down next to Taishi, but freezing for a moment. He looked Yuu up and down quickly. "Hey, Yuu, you look really pretty today."

_He looked. He looked at me. He looked at me in this outfit. I saw him do it! I saw his eyes! I'm blushing. Crap, crap, crap, sit DOWN already!_

Yuu slid into the bench across from Kazuki, pulling out her sketchbook. "Well, finally, a girl can get noticed around here for things _other_ than her natural talents," Yuu stuck her tongue out. "Taishi, why don't you go buy us a couple of burgers or something. Shoo!"

"My sister, of course, I am more than willing to share the wealth that truly does belong to one and all, but only on the condition that you've got it next time."

Yuu looked at her bare wrist, where a watch should have been. "Taishi, if there's no Double Marvel with fries and a medium Coke in front of me in two minutes, 'next time' will be a Marvel Burger delivery to you in Tokyo General."

"Fair enough, fair enough, my sister." Taishi got up. "My brother," Taishi lay a hand on Kazuki's shoulder as he got up. "I take it that our dear sister Mizuki has had her desires satiated for now?"

"She's not pissed at me for being late last week for shopping back _then_, if that's what you mean," Kazuki sighed as he paged to a spot in his sketchbook. "Next time there's a convention, I'm going to drag her out of spite alone."

"That's the spirit!" Yuu joked sardonically. "That'll teach her to spread her estrogenical ways upon you."

"Yuu, she's a girl. So are you. There's nothing wrong with estrogenical ways... whatever those are..." Kazuki raised an eyebrow, looking up from his sketchbook as Taishi went up to the counter.

"Feh. Enough of that. How'd your part come along?" Yuu asked.

"Better than I hoped. Long story short, Kenshiro's looking back on everything just before he goes out on his first date in three years since his wife Maki died. I figure that we can dovetail in details in your story if you've got the space. My dialogue can flex to the situation; if you want to put this after your story, I can put in the textual references."

"Sounds like a plan. How'd your artwork shape up?"

"I worked with some characters from your back issues. I think I've really gotten a good meld going. Here, take a look." Kazuki held up one of Yuu's dojinshi, this one from To Heart, showing Multi looking over her shoulder while holding her broom. Kazuki had replicated the pose with stunning accuracy, turning Multi into Kenshiro, retaining a linear, tall grace with masculine composure and holding a bottle of wine instead of a broom.

"That's really quite impressive," Yuu nodded appreciatively as Taishi brought over a tray with their food on it. "You've really managed to polish your art style. I hope Aya's done this well; all we'll have to do is coordinate our stories and we'll be in good shape."

"Where is our quiet sister, anyway?" Taishi took a tentative look at his Teriyaki Marvel and opted for fries instead. "Is she not part of this circle?"

"You got me. She's supposed to be—wait a minute. Kazuki, how much did you tell him about what we were doing?"

"Worry not, comrade, I am leaving this entirely in the capable hands of the dojin involved. There is little left that requires my direct influence in the coming conquest."

"That's what frightens me, Taishi," Yuu deadpanned.

"Um... I'm sorry, the train was delayed..." Aya's quiet voice called rather silently from the front of the restaurant.

"Hey, there you are!" Yuu waved her over. "C'mon in. Here, Taishi got you a Teriyaki Marvel." Yuu grabbed Taishi's burger out of his hands as he was elevating it to his mouth, handing it to Aya with a mischievous grin.

**Later...**

Kazuki and Yuu looked up at each other, their eyes meeting and glimmering with shared joy.

"Did we really..."

"We did, Kazuki. It took us all this time, but we really did it. There's just the tiny little bit..."

"Yes..." Aya interjected, the scene suddenly met with a quiet, determined visage.

"We really are synchronized. There's nothing left in the layout. Is this real?" Yuu held out her arm, rolling up her sleeve. "Kazuki, pinch me. I think I'm dreaming."

"You're not dreaming, Yuu," Kazuki slumped back into the bench, eyes gazing happily into space. "We really have our layout done and our dialogue all lined up."

_Dammit, I was hoping to get you to at least touch me. How dense **are** you?_

_More so than you may think,_ Taishi's sidelong glance answered Yuu's as their eyes met briefly. She rolled back her sleeve, not showing her dejection.

"So... we just polish this up and submit it, then?" Aya inquired.

"Well, we have to create one original on A3 paper so that Chisa-chan can create the image for the press, so we need to get this properly done. We have forty-eight pages including our extras and comments, and it's due for printing on the 5th. That leaves us with some real time to work with here, but don't slack off, you two," Yuu waggled her finger at Aya and Taishi. "Let's go with what we have here and get it on final. Remember, a true dojin knows no pain, no fear, and no sleep when a deadline is set!"

Yuu stood up and slapped her palm down onto the table, startling the nearby patrons and easily scaring Taishi, Kazuki, and Aya. "We're going to make this great, guys, so give it everything you've got!"

"A wonderfully rousing speech, comrade Yuu," Taishi nodded appreciatively. "I will even go so far as to say it makes up for your burger-thieving ways."

Yuu glared at Taishi. "Regardless of these baseless accusations, I recommend we break and go forth to work on the project at our own paces. We can always work together; you've got my digits if you want to get in touch and get a thing going. Let's aim for the 4th in having everything ready, okay?"

Kazuki and Aya nodded affirmatively in striking unison.

**December 31st  
****Kobe**

"_**Hey, panda girl, you're just going home?" **_

_**I can't stand her. Eimi, just leave me alone, okay? You finally shut up at dinner. Go hang out with my brother. You're a match made in heaven: annoying as anything, yet I can't get rid of either of you.**_

"_**Pandaaaa, are you listening to me?" **_

_**I don't hear you, I don't hear you, I don't hear you, I don't hear you.**_

"_**Hmph. Fine. Where are you going, anyway? Isn't your place down Shikijo-dori?" **_

_**No, I don't want to go home just yet. You'd be there. So go home already. I'll wander all night if I have to. I am NOT going home to the caring words of Eimi Oba.**_

"_**Hey, come on, what's wrong, panda? Too much bamboo?" **_

_**Please. You can do better. **_

"_**Well, fine, if you don't mind my company, you can just take me on the grand tour of the zoo that you call Kobe. Where do pandas go for fun around here on a New Year's Eve?" **_

_**Geez. That's really a good question. All I ever really do is hang out and shop for dojinshi. **_

_**I turned around to look at her. "You wanna see what I've been doing around here?" **_

_**Eimi blinked a few times. She must have thought I was going to ignore her all night. I suppose there are worse fates than having to entertain Eimi Obaka for a night... but not really by all that much...**_

"_**Yeah, your panda brain looks like it's about to melt. What do you do for fun around here?" **_

"_**You grew up in Kobe too. You should know all the good spots." **_

"_**Yeah, but YOU were the one who took Eimi-chan-sama's spot in Seishin, and—"**_

"_**For the last time, Eimi, you suck at math and you always have. Seishin is HUGE on math and science. You probably thought that a tangent was a really nice guy who's been out on the beach too long. You're in a good school in Tokyo and loving it, so quit whining already." **_

"_**Shut up!"**_

_**Ha. You're so easy to get to pouting. **_

"_**Fine. C'mon, let's go wander." **_

"_**Wander where? The panda caves?" **_

_**She forgets that I have wicked harisen powers. **_

"_**Ow!" **_

"_**That's why it's called wandering, Eimi Obaka. We don't know where we're going to go." **_

"_**Fine. Where are we wandering to?" **_

"_**That, Eimi, is a very good question."**_

**To be continued...**


	8. I Take the Dice

**A/N**: You won't BELIEVE the writers' block I had this week getting this chapter on electronic paper. Oh my God, I couldn't get ANYWHERE. I couldn't think of a way to start, and even if I could, I had next to no time to write during work. We had people off the phones for training, so everything else got stacked to the rest of us help desk analysts. Gaaah. 

On the other side of the news, my one-man ComiPa fandoming has come to a new point... someone on Ebay is selling off the entire stock of Comic Party plushies from Japanese UFO catcher games. I already bought Chisa, Reiko, and Emi and I'm bidding on Aya. I'm also going for the Minami and Reiko keychains... I already have Chisa, Emi, Mizuki and Yuu. If anyone wants to get your friendly neighborhood ComiPa fanfic writer a Chanukah present, just get what I don't have already... ;;

A recent reviewer called my work "brilliant" and said I should feel proud at having written what I've written. Thanks for the complements, Purple Dragoon! I really do appreciate the complements, but the only thing I feel proud about is that there's Comic Party fanfic out there for people to read.Even crapfests like Special Dojinshi Unit help to proliferate the greatness that is ComiPa. I don't think I'm that great--if you want great, read Lirillith's Good Enough or Cendrillo's take on Aya, Silence-- and you'll really see the breadth of wonderful writing that's out there. Also, check out my Favorite Authors and Stories list if you want to see some really great stuff. I try my best to weed the wheat from the chaff.

We're going into the final act here. Deeper Water has really become one of my absolute favorite things that I've ever written. The Nameless Grace has a very special place in my heart and it's something I love deeply, but Deeper Water is the Comic Party fanfic that I really wanted to do in the beginning. It really explores all the characters, not just an unconventional pairing, and it's been so much fun to write it. I hope to keep writing well throughout the rest of the life of this fanfic.

On with the show!

-------------------------------------

_7: I Take the Dice_

**January 29th  
Ichidai Public High School  
Ichiguro, Tokyo  
3:15 PM**

The massive cloud of white smoke had drawn a crowd to the arts section of Ichidai High. Coupled with a squeal of pain and panic familiar to them, most of the first-year students were looking at each other with concern.

"What's going on?" a first-year asked as she and her friends were heading past the arts wing to go home for the day.

"Tsukamoto from 1-D is in the kitchen," a student on the outlying edge of the crowds said, beckoning the new group closer. "It's pretty scary. We're not sure what she's doing in there, but the entire hallway is starting to look like it's snowing."

"Tsukamoto? The one who's always tripping and falling in the cafeteria? She's _cooking?!_"

"Yeah, we could all die! Why are you guys going home? Come and watch!"

The five students joined the crowd as another cloud of smoke emerged from the kitchen.

"Nyaaaa!" a cry resounded from the kitchen as a massive white cloud emerged from the door. "Chisa now knows all too well the struggle of an everyday loaf of bread!"

The terrified squeal echoed through the hall, catching Yuu's ear as she was going home.

"Maybe we should help her?" Yuu overheard as she edged her way through the crowd.

"There's nothing that can get through all the flour that she's kicked up. We'll need an industrial-size blower to even clear a way through the cloud."

Just as the student said that, a massive gust of wind blew through the hallway, staggering the first-years closest to the door. The flour blew in all directions, clearing a path for Yuu and scattering the crowds.

As the smoke and flour cleared, the shadow of Yuu Inagawa showed through the fog; she had reared back and let fly with a two-handed grip on her harisen. One powerful swoop of the oversize paper fan had blown the entire flour cloud out of the entrance to the kitchen.

"Aren't you first-years supposed to be on cleaning duty for this hall?" Yuu shot over her shoulder, her harisen suddenly no longer anywhere to be seen, invisibly holstered in hammer-space.

"Yes, sempai," the small crowd lamented in unison.

"Better get to it, then. Chisa-chan, are you okay?" Yuu walked into the kitchen, smelling the distinctive pang of burned baked goods.

"Oh! Inagawa-sempai, thank you so much! Chisa couldn't see through the sudden fog that the weather forecasters failed to predict for this time of day." Chisa had fallen to her knees by the oven, liberally covered in a thin white flour layer.

"You're lucky that flour is cheap, Chisa-chan." Yuu helped Chisa to her feet, brushing powdery dustings off of the younger girl's school uniform. "What were you trying to do? Re-enact a snow cooking scene?"

"Actually," Chisa reached for a saucepan full of burned materials, "Chisa was practicing making Valentine's chocolates."

"Valentine's chocolates? This early?"

"As you can tell, Chisa's ability to work with Mr. Stove and the Cookware Family aren't up to par with being able to work with Mr. Ink and Mr. Paper..." she smiled shyly, blushing. "Chisa has a lot of chocolates to make for next month, and it's best to practice new skills as much as possible." She tilted the pan over an open garbage can. "Oh no... Mr. Chocolate seems to have oxidized, much like the surface of Mars..."

Yuu scratched her head. "Why not just buy chocolates? I mean, you're probably just going to exchange giri-choco with clients and your classmates, so it's just really the gesture that's important..."

Chisa shook her head as she rolled up her sleeves and started to scrub the pan with a steel wool pad in a sink. "Giri-choco is fine for obligations and casual friends, yes," she wiped off some sweat from her forehead in between scrubs. "But Chisa plans on giving someone honmei-choco this year."

"Really? Good for you!" Yuu nodded approvingly. "I never thought you had a boy you liked. Is he in your class?"

Chisa looked over her shoulder as she scrubbed, back towards the entrance, blushing. "There's nobody out there right now, right?"

Yuu stretched her arms behind her back. "Nobody in here but us Kansaijin," she remarked. "Who's the lucky guy? Don't tell me you've fallen for Kazuki..." she grinned wryly.

_It'd be cute, but I doubt he would... well... then again... I don't know his tastes... and it's not even **that** much of an age gap... but still, Chisa and Kazuki? Eww..._

"His name is Jun Komiyama," Chisa blushed as she rinsed out the copper pot. "He's Chisa's lab partner in Chemistry, so we already talk a lot every day. He's really nice, he's a good listener, and for some reason, I seem to trip a lot less when I'm around him."

"You've got your guard up," Yuu remarked. "You're trying to keep yourself from being clumsy even more so. I guess that means you're trying to be a proper woman for him and everything, huh?"

"Something like that, but he doesn't make fun of me when being careful fails," Chisa giggled, finishing off with drying the saucepan. "He helps Chisa up and everything, like a real European gentleman."

Yuu nodded. "Japanese guys are seldom like that," she said with a smile. "You're lucky to find a guy like that, especially at your age, Chisa-chan."

"Seldom? Not true. Kazuki-sempai is just as nice. Chisa's making a really special giri-choco for him as well."

Chisa went over to a large brick of pure baking chocolate, using a pick and cooking mallet to chop off several chunks. "Chisa's father got this chocolate when he was in Switzerland for an international printing conference," she explained, "and he let me use it for our clients. I'm just using a little bit of it for myself."

"Really?" Yuu tilted her head, examining the big brick of chocolate. The size of a large cereal box, it was unusually dark in color. It had a smell unique to other chocolate; it was rich, mellow, and somewhat bitter. Picking up a small fragment and tasting it, Yuu was surprised that it was completely unsweetened; it was, however, intensely chocolatey in flavor.

"It's meant for baking and it has no milk whatsoever. Just a little bit will make a lot for everyone, but I know that Komiyama-kun doesn't like sweet things too much." Chisa smiled thinly to herself. "I really like sweets, so it's a big challenge for Chisa to make something less that. That's why I'm starting off now."

_Wow. She's really putting in an effort. This Komiyama kid sounds like someone really special to her. Does she normally go to this level of work? Does she normally practice this much?_

"You really are going through a lot to do something special for him, Chisa-chan."

"Komiyama-kun is very special to Chisa," she said as she dropped a few chunks of the chocolate into the copper pan. Slowly tilting the saucepan counterclockwise over the flame, the chocolate melted into a dark brown mass. "Chisa wants him to know that she feels that way whenever she's around him."

_Yeah... I've done things like that, too._

"Are you going to tell him how you feel?"

"That's the plan..." Chisa smiled at Yuu as she stirred in some confectioner's sugar. "Even if he doesn't accept Chisa's feelings, she'll at least have had the chance to tell him that he's someone very special."

"So you're not afraid of being rejected?"

"Well... I _am_ a little afraid," Chisa thought for a moment as she stirred the chocolate. She dripped a few drops of the mixture onto a clean spoon, tasting it. "Chisa would like to be more than friends with Komiyama-kun, and losing that friendship would be difficult... but Chisa is willing to take that risk."

"You're a lot braver than most, Chisa-chan."

"Oh, Chisa's not that brave!" she waved her hands, deflecting the complement with a blush. "It's just that leaving the question unanswered hurts more than rejection..."

"You want some help?"

"Um... Inagawa-sempai, I'm supposed to be able to confess my feelings on my own..."

"I meant with the chocolate."

"Oh! Yes, of course! Chisa thinks she burned this batch, too..."

"Let me taste..." Yuu dipped another clean spoon into the chocolate mixture, which had already started to bubble and exude a carbonous smell. Bringing the spoon to her lips, Yuu began to have visions of taking a bite of coal.

"Chisa-chan... let's go see if the Cooking Club has a cookbook you can borrow..."

**January 30th  
Sendoh Residence**  
**Meguro 12-14-47, Tokyo  
****3:47 AM**

Kazuki's normally neat room had turned into the post-apocalyptic state known to most dojinshi authors as "deadline hell." Empty finger-sized bottles of potent herbal and energy drinks took the place of shell casings; boxes of Pocky and Pretz took the place of spent artillery rounds amongst the rest of the debris on the floor. Only two of the people in the room were still conscious, one having succumbed to fatigue from the drawing session that had been going on forfourteen hours so far.

"Aya's dead out of it," Kazuki moaned. "She's far enough ahead of us, but this isn't a good sign."

Yuu flipped the cap off of another energy drink and downed it in one fell swallow. "Hah!" she exclaimed in a quiet voice as not to wake Aya. "This is nothing. Kazuki, you've never lived until you've done an entire release in the 48 hours before a convention—oh, wait, never mind, you've done that."

"Yeah, and I never want to do that again. Even you couldn't take that pace, if memory serves me right."

"Hey, it takes a lot to support you, y'know," Yuu joked, tilting one of the impromptu-moved lamps towards her layout board and away from Aya. "At least we're far enough ahead that Aya can take a break."

"You say that, but we still have a lot of plot to synchronize."

"We do, but it's nothing that can't be done. That's why we're getting together now. The art is finished, but some points of our dialogue need to mesh with each other. There's not enough clarity that Izumi and Kenshiro are related." Yuu heard Aya stir gently and lowered her voice to a whisper. "I'd still like to have an actual page of the dojinshi that shows them interacting, but we're running pretty high as is at forty-eight pages total."

"What about raising the price to cover the costs a little better?" Kazuki whispered back, twirling his pen as he wrestled with the proper form of an unfamiliar kanji character.

"Well, we _are_ stretched pretty thin... it was hard for all of us to pool together the sixty thousand yen for forty copies. It's not like we're going for profit on these; we worked too hard together to make this happen." Yuu rested her left arm on the table, propping her chin up limply in her free hand. She stifled a yawn, already feeling fatigued.

"That's true. I've been working really hard on everything here. I've never really considered a dojinshi centered on romance... I had to do a lot of research to make it happen."

"Research? On romance?"

"I read a bunch of manga and asked people as to how they defined love, that sort of thing. Which reminds me: never, EVER ask Taishi about stuff like love. Best-case scenario, he'll just go into a speech."

"What about the worst-case scenario?"

"He'll answer your questions," Kazuki muttered with a shudder. "I felt really, really dirty."

Yuu patted him on the shoulder, lingering for just a moment. "It's okay. You'll survive. We'll purify you back eventually."

"There's nothing that can save me now, Yuu."

"Just let me sketch the two of you guys when you start doing the yaoi."

"We are NOT going to make out for you!" Kazuki growled as aggressively as he could while still whispering.

"It's only a matter of time, y'know!" Yuu folded her hands together, propping her chin up and grinning at Kazuki. "Gender ambiguity is a powerful force in Japan. Besides, you'd look cute on the spontaneous flower backgrounds that permeate yaoi manga."

Kazuki blushed at that line. "Yeah, yeah."

"Well, hopefully Taishi hasn't spoiled your attitudes forever. He may pollute your thoughts with the idea of hot boy-boy love, but I'm sure you'll be back on the hetero path soon enough."

"Oh, there's no need to worry about that. Trust me."

"Ooh, such confidence. Are you sure you and Taishi aren't an item?"

"Yuu, cut it out! I am NOT in love with Taishi!"

"Oh? Is there someone else then?"

_Let's hear it. This is when I make it happen. I won't have a question left unanswered anymore._

"Actually... yes, there is."

"Oh? Who is it?"

"Sorry, I can't tell you."

"Is she asleep right now?" Yuu evilly grinned, trying desperately to mask the curiosity in her voice and to ignore the rapidity of her heartbeat.

"What? No! Aya-chan? No way!" Kazuki sputtered a little bit louder than a whisper. "She's a really nice person, but..."

_Please, no. Please tell me the truth or don't tell me at all._

"Well? Who is it?" Yuu leaned in a little closer to Kazuki, eyebrows raised in mock intrigue.

_No! Dammit, stop pressing the issue! Back off or you'll scare him off! _

"I'd rather not say," Kazuki crossed his arms. "But you can rest pretty well assured that it is NOT Taishi."

_Okay. Don't push him. Let him do it at his own pace. You'll find out eventually. When you get a chance, you'll find out. No... when you **make** that chance, you'll find out. Keep it together, Inagawa. You know how to pull it off from here on out. _

"Well, good. Nice to know that some of us still have a chance."

_WHAT?!?! Did I just say that?!_

Kazuki shook his head. "I think the fatigue is getting to you, Yuu."

"Yeah, be careful. I might want to use you as a pillow if you don't watch yourself."

"Hey, at this point, I might want to use you for the same purpose."

_YES! By all means. Please. Lie down. I'll sit like a proper Japanese woman, right on my ankles all night long. I don't care if my feet—no, I don't care if my legs fall asleep. Please, Kazuki, do that... by all means, rest yourself on me. I may not be the most feminine woman in the world, but hopefully you'll find a place soft enough for you someplace on me._

"C'mon and do it, then," Yuu said with a smile. As best she could, she forced away every instinct that had her wanting to make a joke or a wry comment; she slid herself back from the table, settled at her knees, and patted her lap, which was mostly bare from the skirt that she wore. Vandalize Couture had indeed been kind to her as of late.

"Seriously?" Kazuki looked up at her, raising an eyebrow. "I might take you up on that. I don't know if I'd make it to my bed in this state."

"Be careful, Kazuki, I might not be that comfortable."

"I really must be tired," Kazuki shook his head. "I can't tell if you're serious or joking."

_Damn fatigue... next time, we're doing this fully conscious. I'd rather here the truth after you're rested rather than a grudged response out of sleep deprivation._

"Kazuki, go get some sleep," Yuu giggled. "You live here. I'll tilt the light away if you don't want the glare."

Kazuki yawned deeply as he sketched at a frame. "I'll be okay. Don't worry about me."

Yuu shook her head. "You had your last energy drink a couple hours ago. Go on, get some sleep. We've got plenty of time and all day to work on the rest of this. I need to get some more work done. Move it. Get to bed, mister."

"I can't do that; we're all supposed to be working on this together!"

"Kazuki, we may be burningly passionate dojinshi artists, with love for our characters running abreast of everything we do, but we're still human and you're exhausted. You're not used to this. Neither is Aya." Yuu tossed her head in Aya's direction to indicate the sleeping girl. "Go rest. We'll get some breakfast when you wake up. I'll have caught up by then."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Sleep."

Yuu narrowed her eyes as best she could behind her glasses at him. Kazuki met them, stifled a yawn, and nodded grudgingly. "All right. But wake me up if you need me."

"I won't need you, so I won't wake you up.You want meto tuck you in myself?"

"Lay off; I'll sleep."

"Okay. Good night."

"Yeah, good night. Oh, and Yuu?"

"Yes, Kazuki?"

"Thanks for coming."

Yuu blushed as she grinned. "Go on, get to sleep. You're starting to get delirious."

Kazuki walked quietly to his bed, a luxury in Yuu's eyes considering she had a futon back at her aunt and uncle's place, and pulled the covers over himself. Of course, he wouldn't bother changing into pajamas with two girls in the room.

**4:49 AM**

It was the last page of her portion, the end of the second act of their dojinshi, when Yuu finally erased a guide sketch under the final pen work on her page. She had fixed her dialogue, the energy drinks were long since gone, and her stomach had a twinging ache of indigestion from the massive amounts of junk food that had been consumed throughout the night.

"They're both such quiet sleepers..." Yuu said to nobody in particular, too low to be heard. Aya had simply fallen asleep sitting up, still kneeling in a very proper Japanese style. Kazuki had conked out on hitting the pillow, sleeping on his back.

She watched him breathing, idly twirling her pen with one hand. She leaned down on the desk, propping her chin up on folded arms, and yawned deeply.

_Good night, Kazuki ,_she thought as she crawled over to his bed on her hands and knees. _You've worked your butt off. I don't know anyone else who can keep up with how you feel about your art form. I want only one-fourth of your passion in the hopes that it'll fuel the rest of my days. _

Yuu paused at his bed, sitting on her knees and leaning on the edge of his mattress.

_Wouldn't it be great if I could wake you up one of these days? Just like some cliché manga or anime. It's so domestic of me, but if it's you, Kazuki, I'd like to be that way sometimes._

_Listen to me. I'm back to rambling about your passion again. See what you do to me, Kazuki? Do you see?_

_I sure hope you're asleep. I don't want you seeing me like this._

He didn't move a muscle in the least as he slept. She watched his chest move under his warm-looking blanket, his mouth partially open. Without a noise, with barely any motion, Yuu leaned over, just inches from Kazuki, and lay her head down gently on his chest.

_I don't even know what I'm doing anymore..._ _I know I'm fatigued as well. I should get some sleep... but I don't want to leave..._

Yuu almost jumped up as she felt movement below her. Brushing just below her neck on her back, Kazuki unconsciously wrapped his right, then his left, arm around Yuu, mumbling something barely comprehensible. Her eyes shot wide-open, suddenly fully awake and alert, as her heartbeat kicked up again.

_Okay. I don't know if I should be worried... I feel kind of like a stalker... but I don't care. This feels really nice._

Yuu managed to easily slip out of Kazuki's loose, unconscious embrace, and sit back up on her knees. She smiled at him as he mumbled again in his sleep.

"Kazuki, I..." she whispered, reaching out a hand to him, then pulling it back. Slowly. "I really like you, Kazuki. I mean it. I don't just want to be your friend anymore."

Smoothly and quietly, she leaned down to his cheek and kissed him gently, pressing her lips against the smooth, unblemished skin of his cheek. Drawing away relatively quickly, she felt an incredibly strong blush creep across her own cheeks.

"Good night, Kazuki," she whispered, falling back over near the table, dead asleep to the world.

**Tsukamoto Printers  
****12-24 Ichiguro-cho  
****Ichiguro, Tokyo  
****11:45 AM**

The opening and closing of the print shop's doors were easily drowned out by the noise of the large offset printing machines running at full tilt. Early orders for the winter Comic Party had hit Tsukamoto Printers hard, and Chisa had happily started work earlier that Sunday morning to ease the load on her parents.

"Anyone here?" she heard a familiar male voice ask.

"Oh! Kazuki-sempai!" Chisa exclaimed, dropping five reams of bond paper on her right big toe.

After Chisa had recovered the use of her right foot, she brought out three mugs of green tea for her clients. "I'm so happy that you were able to finish your work!" she exclaimed, flipping through their sample copy. "Chisa swears on her father's print shop that nobody will catch word of how wonderful this dojinshi is until it comes out. It really works well on every page!"

"We did work hard on it," Yuu said, openly yawning and covering it with her hand. "Hey, Kazuki, look alive!" She elbowed Kazuki, who had nodded off.

"Um... are you three okay?"

"We're fine," Aya said quietly, blinking away the tears from the eyedrops she had just put in. "We were working a little late this morning."

"This morning?" Chisa tilted her head. "Oh, deadline hell..."

"Yes. Deadline hell." The response from all three of the dojinshi artists at once put Chisa at a bit of a nervous tinge.

"Well, there's no need to worry. Please leave the rest to Tsukamoto Printing. Chisa will be sure to deliver your books to you on the day of Comic Party." She bowed at the waist, a gesture that was returned by all three dojinshi artists. This time, it was Yuu who didn't recover from the bow, falling forehead-first into the table.

"We must apologize for our rudeness," Aya quietly yawned, "but we're suffering heavily from fatigue. If you don't mind, we'll have to be on our way to rest."

"Oh, of course! Please be careful on your way." Chisa helped Yuu up. "Oh! By the way, Inagawa-sempai, thank you for all your help the other day."

"Huh?" Yuu yawned. "Oh, no problem. Let me know if you need anything else."

"We really did finish far ahead of time," Aya commented, smoothing down the brown sweater she wore under her tan dress. "It turned out quite nicely."

"Yeah, except for the marathon all-night drawing session. I could have sworn I was hallucinating during the night; it felt like I was grabbing a pillow that I didn't really have."

"You were probably just hallucinating from the energy drinks, Kazuki. I wouldn't worry too much about it if I were you."

"I am _not_ doing this again, Yuu!"

"That's what you said last time we were up all night working on dojinshi," Yuu teased. "Are you sad that Mizuki wasn't here this time?"

"Mizuki is the last of my worries right now. Do you realize how much homework I have to do today?"

"We've all got homework to do today. That's part of creating dojinshi, right, Aya-chan?"

"I finished mine earlier, before we started..."

"Way to back me up, Aya-chan. Hey, let's all celebrate before Comic Party actually happens!"

"Yeah, sounds like a good idea. What did you have in mind?"

Yuu dashed a few steps ahead, gesturing westward dramatically. "Hot springs trip!"

"Hot springs trip?" Kazuki and Aya looked at each other.

"A deluxe weekend stay at a classic hot springs ryokan, all expenses paid! What do you think? A nice long soak in the mineral-rich hot springs of Kobe prefecture?"

"Oh! That's right! Your family runs a ryokan! That sounds really cool; I've never been to one before."

"Well, now's your chance. You'll both come, right?"

Aya nodded silently, a trace of excitement sneaking its way onto her normally impassive face.

"You bet I'm in. After a weekend like this, I'll need to relax."

"Great. We'll go this coming weekend so there's time enough before ComiPa."

Yeah. Back on my home turf. Let's see Mizuki linger in the back of your mind then, Kazuki.

_Worst comes to worst, he **is** a guy... I can just walk in wearing nothing but a towel._

_I hate the fact that my life is turning into Love Hina, but I think it'd help a little..._

**December 31st  
****Kobe**

"_**So where are we?" **_

"_**You don't even remember? This is about the only place in the city that's up after 10 PM." **_

"_**Even on New Year's? Aren't pandas supposed to be diurnal creatures?" **_

"_**You wanna be ditched, Emi? I doubt you can navigate this city since you left in first year of junior high school..." **_

"_**Fine, so what are we doing here?" **_

"_**Hanging out. Exploring. Nothing in particular. Here, Eimi, is where we normal people go. Nor-mal," I said, knocking on her skull. **_

"_**Fine. So what do normal people even DO, then? I should be back home working on my next release. These trends don't research themselves, y'know." **_

"_**Well, let's go in there." Truth be told, I always wanted to see what these underground club places were like. I pointed to just one of the random places where a bunch of young-looking people were hanging out, mostly smoking cigarettes. **_

"_**Why there?" **_

"_**Why not?" **_

_**I didn't mind the fact that we stood out a little, but nobody seemed to be hostile toward us. One thing's for sure, we probably needed a lot more bleach and a lot more gel in our hair to fit in. **_

_**It was definitely loud, and definitely packed. A guy with tons of nose piercings was working the bar, tossing drinks in all directions to the crowd at the old metallic corner where he worked. The stage was empty but for a drum set and enough speakers to bring down a small airplane.**_

"_**So what now?" **_

"_**I hope you like loud noises." **_

_**Eimi moaned in terror. Oh man, that was sweet. **_

"_**Relax. Let's get something to drink." **_

"_**We just had beer with dinner, though!" **_

"_**Oh? Is the great Eimi Obaka a lightweight?" **_

"_**Hey! I can drink you under the table, panda!" **_

"_**That's the spirit! Two gin and tonics!" I yelled to the barkeep. He grunted in response, sliding relatively water-spotty but clean glasses down the bar to us. **_

_**I heard a really loud cheer as the band took to the stage. I managed to slam down my drink before Eimi could finish hers. "You're buying that round, O losing drinker," I scoffed. **_

"_**Dammit! One more, and I'll—" she turned toward the stage, back to me, and double-taked back to the stage. **_

"_**What?" I asked. **_

_**Eimi let out a giddy noise. "That..." she pointed up towards the stage.**_

**To be continued...**

**A/N: **Just for cultural reference, giri-choco indicates chocolates given at Valentine's Day to friends, business associates, and acquaintances; these are usually store-bought. Honmei-choco indicates chocolates given to people who you really care for, and are often less of a chocolate but more of a representation of one's feelings. Nevertheless, real honmei-choco is mostly homemade from scratch. It can be cake or actual solid chocolate, usually very elaborately decorated. Take my word, it's tricky to make. The fact that Chisa intends to make her own giri- and honmei-choco shows that she's REALLY making an effort.


	9. Come Undone

**A/N:** Shorter this time, but I'd like to experiment a little bit like this. See how it works and all that wonderful jazz.

Everyone, come and visit the Comic Party Spot Sale forum! It's the only active gathering place in the English language for ComiPa fans! It's at comicparty dot proboards39 dot com.

My loyal beta-ers are socked in with finals this week, so all errors are mine and mine alone. I'd appreciate corrections E-mailed to me and I will credit appropriately.

On with the show! (Short babble this week, no?)

* * *

_8: Come Undone_

**February 4th  
Ichidai High School  
Ichiguro, Tokyo  
12:35 PM**

"I'm actually really excited," Kazuki pulled up his desk to Yuu's. "I've never really been outside of Tokyo in my entire life."

"My brother, such a narrow worldview will do a great disservice to our path of conquest," Taishi chided, edging in his own desk and his own two cents along with it.

"Taishi, we're not going to Kobe to conquer any_thing_ or any_one_." Yuu narrowed her eyes, staring Taishi down. "When Aya and I are done relaxing with him, and only after we're done, he's all yours again."

"I must again protest the fact that this sabbatical is restricted to immediate members of the dojinshi circle involved," Taishi crossed his arms in his normally theatrical irritation with all things in the present. "This exclusivist behavior only serves to further isolate dojin from dojin and foster the competitive establishment that foments a blockage to the revolution!"

"Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be martyred, Taishi?" Yuu threatened.

"Hmph. I vehemently protest this renewed and abusive practice."

A yakisoba sandwich flew upside Taishi's head, silencing his protest.

"Lunch is up;" Mizuki tossed another yakisoba sandwich in her right hand up and down, like a baseball, as if preparing to launch another volley. "I've got enough for you guys and then some." She growled the last part, knowing that yakisoba sandwiches hit very hard. The extras were her extended ammunition.

"This isn't over," Taishi's eyes glimmered akin to the sparkle of his wry grin.

"It won't get you any closer to this weekend, Taishi," Yuu smiled back with all the sweetness of a vinegar factory.

"What about this weekend?" Mizuki asked, curious, as she unwrapped her sandwich.

"I didn't tell you?" Kazuki asked between chews. "We're going to Yuu'th family'th hoth thpring," he explained with a mouth full of fried noodles and cabbage.

"You're going to _what_?"

"My eternal brother over there has decided to subvert years of friendship and unity in favor of a mere hot spring."

"A hot spring?" Mizuki's eyes lit up.

_Oh, no. This isn't going to happen. No WAY. I am NOT giving you a buy-in on this._

"Yeah, we're going to kick back and recuperate," Yuu unwrapped her sandwich. "The three of us have worked our butts off all month, not to mention school and all that junk, so I figured I'd drag 'em home with me this weekend."

"This weekend?"

"Yeah, it's the last chance we have before the next Comic Party."

"Oh..." Mizuki deflated, taking a bite out of her sandwich. "Sounds like it'll be fun."

"Please direct all scorn towards comrade Yuu, my sister," Taishi grumbled.

"No, it's okay. You guys deserve to relax," Mizuki flatly respond as the joined tables shook suddenly and Kazuki let out a stunned yell.

"Ow!" Kazuki leapt up and rubbed his shin. "Mizuki, what was that for?"

"Nothing..." Mizuki replied. "Wasn't me that kicked you."

"Yeah, it was my other foot acting on its own, right?"

"It slipped. Let's just eat."

"Geez. What's with you?"

"Nothing. Eat." At that, Mizuki took a rather large bite of her sandwich in a rather animalistic fashion, as a lioness would take a chunk out of a hyena.

Kazuki sat back down, not mentioning another word, as Taishi shot him a concerned glance. Kazuki returned the knowing look, the two old friends communicating in a rare manner.

"Say it, Kazuki," Mizuki mumbled out after swallowing her chunk of sandwich. "Just say that this is for you dojinshi types only."

"Mizuki, what's the _matter?_"

"Nothing. Nothing's the matter. I've got to go to the ladies' room. Excuse me." Mizuki got up from her chair, deliberately avoiding looks from the three others at the table.

"Wait up a sec! Mizuki!" Kazuki was just a few steps behind her, but not fast enough to avoid a sliding classroom door in his face. Yuu calmly got up and opened the door as Kazuki nursed the bump on the forehead that he had incurred.

"Let me go talk to her," Yuu volunteered. "Chances are she really did go to the bathroom, and there's no way we're pulling any Ranmas in order to sneak you in."

Kazuki sighed. "I told her I'd be busy this weekend. I was out with her a couple weeks ago, and we hung out on Wednesday. I don't know what it is this time..."

"Only one way to find out, short of dressing you up like Multi again."

"Thanks, Yuu..." Kazuki sat back down limply, as if already burdened by something.

_Are you trying to be Mizuki's friend? _Yuu thought as she headed down the hallway towards the restrooms. _Do you honestly have her best interest in mind? Or are you just trying to get some inside info?_

_I don't want to compete with her... and if this concerns Kazuki, I want in..._

"Still angry at dojinshi?" Yuu asked upon finding a stall that was locked with no feet showing.

There was no response from the stall. Yuu sat down on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. "You gotta come out some time."

"It's his hobby," Mizuki's voice seemed to warble a little as she spoke, echoing with what started to sound like tears. "I need to get used to it. I really do. I just _can't. _Not if he's always going to be doing it."

"Except then it wouldn't be a hobby. It's just something he does."

"It's his life... but I always feel like he puts me down there with pond scum so much of the time. I keep trying to think that he really doesn't value dojinshi above his friends, but... his friends grow more and more in with dojinshi, and then there's me on the outside. I know it's his hobby, but it's becoming his entire _being._"

"Would you believe me if I told you I know how you feel?" Yuu turned her head towards the closed door of the stall.

There was a brief moment of silence.

"When I started drawing dojinshi, not just sketching characters, I mean really creating dojinshi, I instantly got thrown into the otaku crowd."

_I haven't even told Kazuki this story. _

"As a matter of fact... you remember Eimi, right? She was part of the people who initially propagated that crowd, way in the beginning of junior high. Before she got good and thrown right in with us, to boot."

"Really?"

"How else do you think our rivalry begain?" Yuu chuckled. "All my friends kept doing their usual thing... talking about boys, TV, the newest clothes, and there was Yuu, sketching away and wondering why she only got the token 'You wanna come too, Inagawa-san?'"

There were footsteps as Mizuki hopped down from the toilet seat on which she was standing in order to hide herself, and then the squeak of an ill-oiled door opening, then closing shut. She sat down next to Yuu.

"It doesn't really get any better, does it?" Mizuki sighed. "I don't get it. I just don't get it. Why does he have to be like this? We've been friends for so long. It's like I don't even matter to him anymore."

"Like you don't matter to him?" Yuu laughed. "Mizuki-chan, you've been friends with him and Taishi for years. I've barely been here since April. Trust me, I think you've got the leg up on the rest of us."

"It just still pisses me off," Mizuki huffed. "What does a girl have to do to get noticed around him?"

_I wish I knew, too._

"Well... you ever notice that he gets really focused when he's bearing down on something?"

"Yeah... he was like that when we were painting in art class."

"That's how he operates, how he is. I mean, think about it. He really goes in on something. He doesn't let go once he's on a trail. When you see him like that, it probably makes you think 'why not me? Why doesn't he see me as something to be pursued just as much, just as intensely?'"

"Well... I mean, not like that... you know..." Mizuki blushed very obviously.

"Come on, let's face it. You're not satisfied with just being his friend."

_I can handle it. I don't have to yield anything. She doesn't have to know. _

"Not if he's going to keep treating me this way!" Mizuki indignantly replied. "Aah! No, no, I don't mean it that way!"

"He's got that about him," Yuu nodded. "I don't blame you in the least for feeling that way."

"I..." Mizuki paused. "Well... I've known him forever. We grew up together. You see how he and Taishi get along, right? They're inseperable. I don't want to lose that inseperability with him."

"But it seems like you don't want that inseperability from a friendship, Mizuki-chan."

"I just... I just don't see why he's gotta throw himself headfirst into dojinshi so much." Mizuki dug her chin in between her knees. "I just want to be with Kazuki. That's all."

"Yeah, but the more you try, the more you realize you can't stand what he does."

"I know, I know!" Mizuki almost whined. "You don't think I'm tearing myself up over that already?"

Yuu shook her head. "I guess it isn't that easy to do. Either that, or it's just part of you that you can't stand dojinshi..."

"Dammit. Why do I have to be like this? Why did Taishi ever drag Kazuki to that comic convention in the first place? It seems like everything's just gone haywire from there. I don't _want_ to hate what Kazuki enjoys... I just _do_..."

"Hey, I'm glad he did drag you guys along," Yuu grinned, folding her hands behind her head and leaning back. "Think about it. If it weren't for that, you wouldn't even be facing this right now and you'd still have less than a clue about your feelings. You wouldn't feel like you're about to lose Kazuki. You're clearer for knowing how you feel about dojinshi. It led you to how you feel about Kazuki."

Mizuki didn't respond to that immediately.

"You've been spending a lot of time with him..." Mizuki asked after a brief silence. "What's he... what's he like? Is he at least taking care of himself?"

"What's he like?"

_Where do I begin?_

"He's still Kazuki... still always focused, eating less and less, and when he does eat, it's all junk food." Yuu laughed. "I'm to blame for that, but at least all the caffeine kick-starts our metabolism. Hell, the only time he's been going out and stepping away from school and dojinshi was with you."

"Nice to know that I'm just a subcategory."

"Hey, you can't expect me to give him up that easily."

Yuu's double entendre hit the mark just as it was intended. Mizuki's head fairly snapped to attention, and within the millisecond, she had turned towards Yuu, whose knowing grin was a little less outright than normal.

"Before the last ComiPa, you told me that you and Kazuki didn't have anything going on," Yuu chose her words carefully. "Apparently, that hasn't changed, especially the fact that you're not the only girl in his life these days."

"Yuu, you'd better not be telling me what I think you are," Mizuki mustered in her best angry voice.

_Your panic shows. You really **do** love him. I keep trying to show you that you've gotta do something, that something's gotta give on one side or the other. Either you give up your pettiness and inability to expand yourself or I give up Kazuki. I'm tired of this. I don't want to be your enemy. _

_No. I won't go to blows this quickly. Dammit, I'm too nice to you. I want the boy you want, too. I should just go for it, but..._

"Just be careful. Aya-chan, Reiko-chan, they spend plenty of time with him in dojinshi and work respectively," Yuu's grin returned to normal. "Hell, even Chisa-chan's making him chocolates."

"Come on. They haven't been spending nearly as much time with him as you've been, Yuu."

"Well, just count me among the few and the proud, then," Yuu stood up and dusted off her skirt. "C'mon, let's get you back. Some food'll help."

"Yuu, just tell me one thing." Mizuki stood up and took a breath. "Do you like Kazuki?"

"Of course I do."

"I mean do you _like_ him."

"Yeah, you bet."

"More than friends?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes, honestly."

"Nope, you don't want my honesty."

"Yuu, stop playing games with me, dammit! I want to know the truth!" Mizuki turned around and grabbed Yuu's arm; her eyes were angry, but pleading, their violet tone glazed with a luster of emotion that Yuu couldn't immediately recognize. "Please. I don't want us to be opposed. If you like him, tell me the truth. If you don't like him, tell me the truth. That's all I'm asking."

"Do you really want that truth?" Yuu looked right into Mizuki's eyes, willing every single ounce of energy she could between that gap of space.

The silence that followed seemed to crackle with the forces pushing back and forth between the girls. Thought it only lasted for a few seconds, neither yielded an inch or spoke a single word.

_I love him._

The thought resonated in Yuu's mind, and not for the first time.

_I love making dojinshi. I love Kazuki, too._

"That's all I wanted to know," Mizuki said, taking a deep breath and letting it out.

"You asked," Yuu replied.

"I guess I just needed to hear it." Mizuki headed for the door, pausing before she opened it to head back into the hallway.

She turned briefly to Yuu, blinking a tear from her eye. "Thank you," Mizuki said. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. What reason do you have to thank me? If nothing else, you should have smacked me."

"I have every reason. Now I know. That's all I needed. That knowledge."

"I can understand if you hate me for that," Yuu sighed. "I was hoping it wouldn't come to that."

Mizuki shook her head, opening the door. "The only reason I'd hate you is if you would have lied about it."

"Heh. That I wouldn't do." Yuu leaned up against the wall of the restroom, crossing one leg over the other as if waiting for something.

"I don't intend to lose to you," Mizuki took a deep breath.

"You've got plenty catching up to do."

The air between them sparked inaudibly once again.

"You coming back?"

"Yeah."

**December 31st**  
**Kobe**

**_"Thank you!" I heard the speakers blare over the tentative warm-up sounds on the drums and low, practicing thrums of a bass guitar. The audience cheered. Before the band even did anything, they cheered. I guess we picked the right place to be if even their warm-up gets applauded._**

**_I turned in the bar stool to see what Eimi was gawking over. "Lead singer of a punk band?" I asked her, trying to catch her gaze. So much for looking someone in the eye when you talk to them. She was outright staring. "I expected better of you, Eimi-chan-sama." _**

**_Not even my mocking stirred her up. Geez. Looks like she's serious._**

"**_I will not rest!" she exclaimed, unconsciously thrusting her fist upwards, half as if she was preparing for a fight, half as if she were mocking Taishi. _**

"**_Oh boy." _**

"**_Hey!" Eimi spat out. "Don't deny me my fated destiny!" _**

"**_Your fated destiny." _**

"**_Look here, panda, stick to your own species, okay? Shouldn't you be hibernating?" _**

**_I let her off with a light harisen slap that time. She's such a kid sometimes._**

"**_We're Careless Memories," the singer announced. I finally got a good look at him. As much of a stereotype as it got. Baggy, strappy black jeans; short, bleached, spiked hair, and a flannel shirt with the arms torn off, unbuttoned, over nothing else. Too skinny. "Thanks for coming out tonight. ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR!" _**

**_He fired out the count like a machine gun, and the drummer knocked his sticks together along with him. They exploded into a fast, grindy opening, highlighted by the guitar player cranking out a high-pitched lead tune. _**

"**_He's so amazing..." Eimi gushed, her eyes turning all shojo again. _**

"**_Gimme another," I gestured to the bartender, my back to the band and their newest groupie. This gin and tonic I took to sipping, rather than gulping, as the band played on..._**

"**_Mine, immaculate dream  
made breath and skin  
I've been waiting for you;  
Chills, is it something real, or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers?"_**

**_It was a familiar sounding song, and the singer's high tenor voice really contributed to that tingling feeling in the top of my stomach. Familiarity, familiarity... where have I heard this song before? _**

**_The four of them—drummer, bass, guitar, and singer—broke into the chorus. I KNOW I've heard this song before._**

"**_Can't help but keep from falling apart  
at the seams  
cannot believe you're taking my heart  
to pieces;  
oh, it'll take a little time,  
might take a little crime,  
to come undone; now,  
we'll try...  
to stay blind...  
to the hope and fear outside...  
hey, child;  
stay wilder than the wind  
and blow me in to cryyyy...  
who do you need? Who do you love?  
When you come undone?  
Who do you need?  
Who do you love?  
When you come undone?"_**

**_They broke into the guitar lead from the opening again, breaking down for the next verse._**

**_I know I've heard this song before._**

**To be continued...**


	10. Palomino

**A/N:** Nabe (pronounced "naw-BAY") is a Japanese stew that is deliciously awesome. It contains tofu, nappa cabbage, white onions, and salmon in a miso broth. In restaurants, it's started off as a cold broth and uncooked ingredients, and then cooked over a portable burner. All the flavor soaks into the soup and it's just plain wonderful. It's eaten communally, which explains why Yuu's mother would serve it to friends. Soup is always good for colds and injuries anyway... 

Apologies for the delay. I really got wrapped up in my recent Full Metal Panic! fanfic, The Hollow Men. I encourage you all to read it, as I think it's among my best work ever. I'm going to do my best to update once a week, still, but maybe only one story per week... The Hollow Men is getting some stellar critiques from some outstanding authors over in Full Metal Panic! category-land, and it's basically taking so much of my energy and momentum. It's something quite special, just like Deeper Water still is. Give it a read even if you don't like FMP!. I think it'll bring you into it.

This story is completely un-betaed; I really wanted to get it out. Therefore, all errors are mine and mine alone; I will correct them as they're pointed out to me.

On with the show!

* * *

_9: Palomino_

**February 7th**  
**Ichidai High School  
****Ichiguro, Tokyo  
****12:00 PM **

The electronic tones of Westminster Chimes marked the end of the school day at Ichidai High. Of course, on Saturdays, they marked the half-day, and everyone seemed happy enough to have their free time close at hand.

Stress wasn't often as closely paired with the start of the weekend, but in some cases, it wasn't all that uncommon.

"C'mon, Kazuki!" Yuu tapped her foot nervously, having already dashed to the back of the room to retrieve her small roll-aboard. "We've still gotta go and get Aya!"

"I'll meet you at the shoe lockers," Kazuki fumbled with a notebook, trying to find space in his school bag. "Why'd I have to stick an entire 36-marker Copic set in here?"

"We'll work on your packing skills on the way back," Yuu spun her roll-aboard around. "Mizuki, kick him towards the lockers for me, will you?"

"I'm not kicking anyone!" Mizuki looked confused.

"I'll be waiting, Kazuki!" Yuu dashed off, tossing her school bag over one shoulder, still in her hand, as she trailed the roll-aboard behind her.

"Yeesh. She's excited enough for all of us," Kazuki noted as he dumped out some of the contents of his school bag to rearrange."

"She must be excited to go home," Mizuki observed, trying to suppress the bilious feeling rising in her stomach. Having studied and done homework with Kazuki the other night would barely make a dent against an entire weekend spent alone with him. _Yuu, if you're going to do this... please, don't..._ she thought.

"Something wrong, Mizuki?" Kazuki looked up at her. "You've been acting kinda weird lately."

"Me? Weird? Nothing's wrong," she shook her head, smiling, as she flipped through her school bag. "I'm just still sketchy on the makeup of the Tojo cabinet."

"Yeah, history's always troublesome," Kazuki nodded. "We can study together again when I'm back for sure. The final's not until the end of the month anyway."

_The end of the month. After you get back._

"You guys must have... I mean, you really worked hard on that dojinshi, huh?"

"Yeah, we did. My right hand may never be the same." Kazuki tossed his school bag onto his desk. "I give up on this thing."

"Let me see."

"My bag?"

"No, your hand. I used to be pretty good at reiki massage. It's probably been cramping up at times, right?"

"No, just a little bit of stiffness," Kazuki rubbed his hand tentatively.

"Well, I could take a crack at it, if you like," Mizuki smiled, tucking her hands behind her back and leaning forward expectantly.

"Sure, why not... maybe I should have washed it after I got curry on it at lunch."

"Jerk!" Mizuki laughed, grabbing Kazuki's hand. "Tell me if this hurts, okay?"

"It just feels kinda weird, but no, it doesn't hurt."

_Okay, so I lied about reiki massage. But I want to know if I'm the only one who's held your hand before._

Mizuki tried her best approximation of hand massage, not quite content to just rub his fingers. She kneaded the flesh as firmly as she could, hopefully not making anything worse.

"When you get back..."

"Uh huh..."

_I'm so stupid. How will I know what goes on this weekend? Maybe nothing will come of it... maybe they'll be together by the end..._

"Well... you'll be back on Sunday, right?"

"Yeah, in the evening."

"All right, let's celebrate. You and me."

"Celebrate? I thought you'd be celebrating only after Comic Party's all over."

"Kazuki, I don't want to hate what you like to do."

"Mizuki..."

"I mean, what if I want to really understand, down to my bones, what dojinshi means to you?"

_Yuu can understand._

"But you do understand, though."

"I understand... I know that it's how you express yourself, your drive... but I want to feel it, Kazuki. You have so much passion. I know I can't draw, but the more dojinshi you make, the more I see you spill out."

Mizuki had already stopped massaging a moment ago.

"It's hard to describe..." Kazuki gestured with his hands, trying to express a thought forming in his head. Grudgingly, Mizuki let go of his right hand. "I mean, it just sort of comes up when I'm working on dojinshi, like it's rising... the feeling flows up and it just sorta... I don't know. It kinda feels... skeletal."

_Why can't I feel it, too?_

"I really wish I could tell you, Mizuki. It feels great, like I actually have something I'm _good_ at, something to enjoy."

Mizuki sat on her desk, crossing her ankles shyly. "I guess I'm just a little jealous, that's all. You get to really show that to Yuu, to Aya... even Taishi..."

"Jealous? Over me?" Kazuki looked quizzical. "But it's just dojinshi..."

"Yeah, it's dojinshi..."

_I'm not jealous, right? I just want to understand you a little better, just as well as them... just as well as Yuu..._

"It's dojinshi, but it's _you,_ Kazuki."

"Relax, Mizuki; I'm not going anywhere," Kazuki smiled as he took one last look at his school bag. "At least, I'm not going anywhere outside of Kobe."

_Don't go..._

_What am I supposed to do now?_

* * *

It wasn't long before Kazuki had turned the corner to the shoe lockers, stepping into his street shoes and grabbing his overstuffed backpack from his undersized shoe locker.

"'bout time," Yuu teased. "Ready to go?"

"Yep, ready as anything." Kazuki looked over his shoulder for a moment.

"Forget something?"

"No, nothing at all," he shook his head, a little more tersely than normal. "Let's get going."

"You two had a fight again, huh?" It didn't take much to know when Kazuki was upset.

"I swear, Mizuki's first reaction to everything is to immediately go for the opposite," Kazuki shrugged as they walked. "As much as I like hanging out with her, I'd rather go to Kobe with you—like I _said_ I would—instead of going to the movies."

"The movies?"

"Yeah. She even said she didn't mind if we went to the new Mazinger Z remake. I swear, something's up with her lately."

"Lately? Like what?"

"Well, you know how we were studying math together Wednesday night?"

"I guess I do now."

"It was like she lost everything. She was asking me what all the things were that _she_ taught _me_ ages ago, kept needing to see examples. I had to practically sit in her lap before she could see. That and she kept asking me about her hair, taking it down, putting it back up, asking 'Which one do you like better?' I mean, geez, it's like she's turning all feminine all of a sudden."

_Gee, I wonder why._

"She'd give me crap if I skipped out on her to hang out with you. Nice of her to put in a Catch-22 like that."

"Hmm. Maybe I need to lure you away from her beguilement, no?"

"Yuu, now you're starting to creep me out..."

"Ah, forget about it, Kazuki. You remember how to get to Mitaka, right?"

"I thought _you_ knew how to get to Mitaka."

"Hoo boy."

**Near Kobe  
5:44 PM**

The 2:00 Tokaido was as precise as ever, leaving not a second before 2:01. After collecting Aya and some bento boxes in Mitaka, it was a hop, skip, jump, and three-hour ride to Kobe.

_He's so excited about this,_ Yuu propped her chin in her hand as she leaned on the window sill near her seat. _He looks like a kid who's going to the beach for the first time. I mean, just look at him staring out the window like that..._

"Is that Osaka up ahead of us?" Kazuki asked, eyes fixated off in the distance. Yuu's seat faced the rear; she had to get up and turn around to look.

"Yep, that's Osaka. You can see Tsutenkaku Tower if you look close enough."

"Too bad we can't stop for takoyaki," he joked.

"Am I _that_ much of a Kansai stereotype?" Yuu joked right back. "If you're desperate, worry not, we do have convenience stores; those do have freezers, and we do have the appropriate reheating utilities."

"Wow, talk about the royal treatment. I never thought that I'd ever eat at a down-home Kansai convenience store before!"

Even Aya giggled a little at the back-and-forth routine.

_He's even kicked back a little. It's so nice to see him relaxed already._

"Relax, we'll treat you right," Yuu reassured the two. "My mom cooks all the time for the guests at the ryokan; although it makes our eating schedule a little weird when people are staying, now isn't exactly the on season."

"It must be hard..." Aya ventured. "Living when strangers are coming and going..."

"We have to be really quiet and avoid bothering them as much as possible," Yuu shrugged. "Since the family's rooms are on the other wing of the ryokan, I was always able to yell at Shuichi when he's playing Gundam Battle Assault too loud."

"Shuichi?" Kazuki asked.

"My little brother. He's in his second year of junior high and he's as annoying as they come. I gotta warn you, he has absolutely no sense of respect for guests unless they're Eimi."

"A little brother..." Aya nodded. "That explains a lot."

"Geez, everyone's ganging up on me today," Yuu peered at Aya suspiciously. "The two of you are lucky that I don't have my harisen on me."

"We'll be good, we'll be good!" Kazuki held up his hands in supplication.

"Attention all passengers, attention all passengers. We will be arriving at Kobe Station in approximately five minutes. Please be careful when entering and exiting train cars. Thank you for riding the JR Tokaido Shinkansen line."

"That's us," Yuu stood up to get their luggage from the overhead storage. "Kazuki, you're tall, give me a hand with the bags?"

"Sure." Kazuki had to almost stand on his toes to reach the bags; they had been compacted in rather tightly.

"What'd you pack in here?" Yuu strained against the armrest of the outer seat; Aya drew her arm back and slid a bit away from the possibility of a flying kick to the face.

"I didn't think a weekend's worth of clothes would bulk up this badly... let's pull on the count of three."

"Okay. One... two... three!"

With a distinctive _swoosh_ of nylon and the distinctive series of _kerthunk_ and "Ow!" noises, Kazuki and Yuu ended up on a small pile of humanity on the floor.

"You okay?" Kazuki picked himself up, rubbing his elbow.

"I'm fine, but I think I twisted my ankle..." Yuu grimaced, picking her left leg up enough to take a look at it.

_Great. Why did I wear my uniform? I can't get this looked at without flashing somebody._

"Don't move it," Aya came down from the seat. "Don't put any weight on it, either."

"We'll be at the station in a few minutes... Aya, let's get her up and into a seat, and I'll take care of your luggage, too."

"We need to find her some ice, Kazuki-san..."

"Do your parents have a car?"

Yuu shook her head. "No place to park it at the ryokan."

"Okay, let's take a taxi back. Aya, you take care of her ankle; I'll get our luggage and see if I can't find a conductor to have them ease up the departure. Does it hurt much, Yuu?"

"It's not fun, I'll say that." Yuu had rolled down her sock a little; there was already some swelling coming up just below the ankle joint.

"I'll be right back." Kazuki brought down their luggage and dashed off to find a train conductor.

"I can help you walk..." Aya volunteered. "I don't have much luggage anyway..."

"This bites," Yuu moaned, rolling back her eyes. "I wanted to show you guys a good time and here I am all laid out."

"It'll be all right," Aya reached into her backpack, pulling out a small first aid kit. "My father is a doctor, and he taught me a few things about injuries..."

The quiet girl expertly wrapped Yuu's ankle tightly in the bandage, securing it with the metal clasps that she got from the first-aid kit. Just as the loudspeaker announced their arrival at Kobe, Kazuki hurried up with a man wearing a suit and a JR nametag.

"I found a conductor," he breathed rapidly as if having run all the way across the train. "Do you think you can walk if one of us holds you up?"

"I'm too short," Yuu grinned, "so you'll have to be jealous of me getting to hang off of Aya."

"You're going to be just fine," Kazuki rolled his eyes.

"We'll hold the train's departure until you get off," the conductor picked up Yuu's roll-aboard and school bag, bowing repeatedly. "I am terribly, terribly sorry on behalf of JR due to our luggage constraints' failure."

"It's no problem. Kazuki here just can't pack."

"Hey!"

The brakes of the train stopped squealing as they pulled up to the station.

**Seishin-cho 2347  
Inagawa-sai Ryokan  
****6:27 PM**

"Poor dear," Sakiko Inagawa doted over her daughter, unwrapping Aya's bandage. "It's too bad you had to hurt yourself on the way home."

They had set up an impromptu field hospital in Yuu's room; Aya was standing by, kneeling quietly, while Kazuki had gone to drop off his luggage in another guest room.

"Mom, I'll be fine," Yuu shook her head, wincing a little as she accidentally bumped her ankle. "It's just a bad twist."

"It doesn't seem like a sprain," Aya interjected. "It would be swollen much more than this."

"Such a good nurse you have," Sakiko chided with a grin.

Aya blushed. "N-nurse? Well, not really..."

"Yuu-chan, you have such wonderful friends," Sakiko lifted her leg up and put it on a spare pillow, arranging an ice pack over the swelling. "Thank you so much for taking care of my daughter in Tokyo." She turned and bowed to Aya.

"It's nothing, really... I mean, that is, we're happy to help," she replied formally, returning the bow.

"Can I come in?" Kazuki asked at the shoji door. "Your brother's here, too."

"You can come in, Kazuki, but Shuichi... nah, tell him to get lost."

"I brought your dinner, panda!" Shuichi yelled back. As Kazuki slid the shoji door to the side, she saw Shuichi sticking his tongue out, carrying a large, steaming earthenware stew pot on a tray.

"What, they have you playing the waiter?" Yuu scoffed.

"Just take the stinkin' nabe!" Shuichi stormed in, placed the pot down with an angry _thunk_, and dropped three small bowls and wide, low Chinese soup spoons beside it.

"No ladle?" Yuu teased.

"Yuu-chan, he was nice enough to bring you all this food."

"Yeah, nice of him to leave it all to slurp, too," she giggled.

"Fiiine," Shuichi moaned, tromping off and returning a moment later with a ladle. "Next time I hurt myself, you're gonna serve _me_ hand and foot!"

"Fat chance. I'll be in Tokyo before you can break your own arm or anything like that."

"Whatever. Next time bring Eimi back with you."

"Let's let them eat, dear," Sakiko stood up, ushering Shuichi out. "If any of you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. Make yourself at home."

She stood, bowed, and slid the shoji shut gently behind her.

"Are you feeling any better, Yuu?" Kazuki asked, serving out a bowl of nabe and passing it to her.

"It doesn't hurt that much," Yuu accepted the stew and settling back into her floor chair. "I just can't really walk on it all that much. The ice should get rid of the swelling quick enough, and the best thing to dull pain and soothe muscles is always heat." Her eyes glimmered. "There's only one good way to get some heat around here..."

"Is it a good idea for you to be going around the hot spring?" Aya asked, accepting a bowl of nabe from Kazuki with a nod.

"Please. It'll take more than a twisted ankle to stop me!"

**7:44 PM**

"Are you sure you'll be all right?" Aya walked with Yuu's right arm across her shoulders, holding her up as she dangled her right foot a little in the air behind her as they hobbled towards the changing rooms.

"I'll be fine." Yuu tightened the belt around her yukata. "I might need a hand getting in and out, but once we're in the water, I'll be just fine."

"Do you need any help washing off?" Aya asked. "Or should I hang up your yukata for-"

"I'll be fine!" Yuu laughed. "Aya, it's my ankle, not cancer."

"Are you sure?" Aya helped her into the women's changing area.

"Yes, I'm sure. Can you just make sure Kazuki can find his way to the men's changing room?" she tossed her head to the left.

"Of course."

Yuu pulled her arm from Aya's shoulder and grabbed onto a faucet from the tiled wall. Gently and tentatively, she set her foot down. She was able to use it a little bit, limping slightly, but putting too much weight on it started to hurt.

_What a waste. I feel so useless,_ she thought as she hung up her yukata and started to wash off. _It's like I'll have to worry about the pity factor now._

Aya came in as Yuu was finishing up. "Kazuki-san made it all right," she said as she untied the sash of her yukata. "Um... I'm not too used to changing in front of other people..."

"Aww, we're all girls here," Yuu scoffed, hopping up to her left foot, gently balancing out on her right toes. "Besides, you don't have anything to worry about with your figure," she grinned evilly.

"Thank you..." Aya mumbled, blushing all the more intensely.

"I'll wait up outside," Yuu wrapped a towel around herself and hobbled out to the wooden deck that led from the changing rooms to the hot spring.

_Kazuki's in there..._

Yuu looked towards the men's changing room exit door and sighed as she heard the faucet turn on. Aya had started to wash herself off.

If only this wasn't divided up into men's and women's baths. Just being able to relax with him, wearing only towels... I mean, ye gods, I don't know if I'd be kosher with that with ANYONE else...

Yuu shook her head. _Why would sitting and talking with him in a hot spring be any different than sitting and talking with him in Marvel Burger? Would it give me any advantage? Would I be willing to **use** that advantage?_

Yuu tentatively crouched down and propped herself up on her left hand, holding her towel closed with her right. She dipped her feet into the water slowly, soaking them up in the mineral-rich waters.

_These waters are supposed to have high concentrations of ferrous nitrate and calcium compounds, not to mention herbal runoff from the mountains._ She traced lazy circles in the water with her feet. _Good for the body as well as for alertness and heart health. _

_Aya... I hope you don't mind if I give you the slip for a moment._

Yuu took a deep breath, exhaled, and held herself up as she stepped out of the women's side of the baths and into the men's side. It wasn't as hard to walk as she had predicted; the water was comforting in its heated liquidity. Soon enough, she had settled onto a rock, concealed from the changing rooms by a large boulder.

_This is Kazuki. This is your chance. Alone with him... in a hot spring. I've done a lot for a moment like this... for him to see me as I am. As I truly am... as a person, and as a woman..._

Yuu looked up to the stars, clouded in the steam from the hot spring.

_The last time I was here, I sorted things out. Now I owe it to myself to know... because I want to be with you..._

The sounds of footsteps on the wood deck were quickly followed by gentle splashes of someone entering the hot spring.

**To be continued... **


	11. Ordinary World

**A/N:** Oh. My. God. I am so sorry, all you loyal ComiPa fanfic readers, for having delayed this for so long. -( I have no workable excuse for this. I always quote Piro from Megatokyo when I say this: "Writing is an organic process. If you aren't careful, it can take over." Some organic things, like plants, grow strong quickly; others can wither and grow sickly if not cared for. Mad props to Cendrillo for her enthusiastic beta reading as always.

I just kinda lost my impetus for Deeper Water, probably due to an overdose of estrogen and romanticness that sorta put me forth onto the project in the first place. Then The Hollow Men happened, and next thing I know, I'm making inroads into the Full Metal Panic! fandom.

Either way, I owe it to the characters to finish this. I will not leave them in limbo. Yuu's skin would get wrinkly from the hot springs.

It's not over yet. One more left to go. We still have a flashback denoument...

On with the show!

* * *

_10: Ordinary World_

_

* * *

_

_This is it. Now or never._

Yuu pulled the towel she wore tighter around her chest, just as one last-minute defense of her modesty. She didn't want anything to come off, but just enough skin should at least...

_Should at least what? Excite him? Scare him off? Am I trying to be sexy, cute, innocent, seductive... **what** am I trying to do here?_

The rock on which she sat was partially submerged, with a small grotto that was convenient enough for her to use as a step up. In one motion, she could be up and over the rock, facing Kazuki.

_He'll react to this. But there's no way out now. _

Yuu turned in mid-water, grabbing a solid hold onto the rock, and firmly planting her good foot into the tiny grotto/foothold; she got ready to pull herself up when she heard a rather feminine sigh.

"This really does feel good..." she heard Aya say to nobody in particular. "I wonder where Yuu-san went, though."

_Left side, Aya! LEFT SIDE!_

Yuu drifted forward, banging her forehead on the rock with incredulity; she inflicted enough pain to make her hurt, but not enough pain to take away the fact that Aya had gotten in on the mens' side as well.

There were a few more splashes as she went deeper into the hot spring, followed by a content sigh and a light, almost random musical humming.

_So that's what it sounds like when the best-laid plans of mice and humans fall apart. Go on and relax, Aya-chan. I guess I'll make it like I was trying to scare you. _

Yuu sighed and leaned back against the rock, trying to make as little noise as possible. Fortunately, it was quiet enough that she had her own private little pool to work with, a feature that she'd barely regarded during the countless time she'd spent in the hot spring growing up.

_Yeah, I've been here forever, but it wasn't until Tokyo that I really thought of this place as something out of an anime. They all have that hot spring episode, don't they?_

Grinning in spite of herself, Yuu sat back down on the rock, the steaming hot water coming up to the nape of her neck. She pulled her ankle up, massaging it a little, turning it experimentally. She wasn't quite up to the task of walking on it yet, but the heat and minerals in the water were doing wonders for the lingering pain.

A few more splashes came from the entrance to the hot spring itself, but instead of Aya sighing again with contentment, she heard a brief shriek.

"Kazuki-san! What are you doing here!"

Yuu sat up with a start. _Is everyone forgetting their contact lenses today!_

"Aya? What are you doing in the mens' baths?"

"This is the women's side, Kazuki-san! Please don't look!"

"I'm not, I'm not! The mens' changing rooms are on this side, the womens' are on the other!"

"Are you sure? I could have sworn I saw Yuu-san go on this side..."

"Hmm... maybe she's trying to ambush us or something?"

"Well... I have my towel on, Kazuki-san; if you want, you can stay on this side. I don't mind."

"I couldn't! I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything like that."

"No, really, it's all right. It would be nice to have company until Yuu-san shows up."

Aw, hell. My plan's already blown. Might as well have some fun.

Yuu peeked out from behind the rock. Aya was mostly under water, the white of her towel visible under the rippling surface of the water. Kazuki had one foot in the water, as if he was stepping into it, just turning towards Aya; both of his hands were holding the knot which kept his towel in place.

_Oh man, he's shirtless. Not as toned as I'd expected, but that's probably just me fantasizing too much again. Reiko got me into too much yaoi recently. Still, oh man..._

"Are you sure? I mean, I didn't think you'd be one to be... well... almost naked with a guy in a hot spring."

"It's all right." Aya blushed noticeably and avoided his gaze. "If it's you and Yuu-san, I don't mind."

"Okay, but if you want me out of here, just say the word," Kazuki said, stepping into the hot spring and finding a place to sit a few feet away from Aya on a perpendicular rock bed.

"Here I was, hoping I'd get to freak you both out." Yuu pulled herself up and over the rock with one hand, managing to clear the rock and sit on it imperiously. All through her half-flip, her free hand was holding her towel up as she grinned. "The best-laid plans..."

"There you are!" Kazuki stood up as Yuu crossed her legs and leaned back on the rock. "What's with switching the sides all of a sudden?"

"This one's got a little more room," Yuu shrugged, sliding down from the tall rock back into the water. She made her way over gingerly, using her left toes to keep herself balanced. "Besides, it's got better nooks and crannies to converse in."

She reached out for a nearby rock outcropping; Aya stood up to help her over. "I'm okay, I'm okay," she said, waving her off with a smile. "Besides, I was kinda hoping Kazuki would swoop in to rescue me if I started to teeter."

"You're nuts," Kazuki replied, rolling his eyes.

_Damn damn **damn**! Should I still let a little bit of the towel slip, or... no, not with Aya around... it'd be rude, and definitely she'd feel very uncomfortable. No, that can't happen... and now I don't know what the hell to do._

_

* * *

_

"I think I'm starting to get a little overheated," Aya stood up after about a half-hour's soak. "If it's all right, I think I'm going to get out and set out the futons."

"You can get out, but forget about the futons," Yuu shook her head. "My mom got to you before that. She's treating you guys like her own kids, only better."

"Oh... then, um, I suppose I'll—"

"She got the laundry too, Aya," Yuu cut her off.

"Um..."

"We're here to relax, Aya-chan," Yuu stretched her arms. "Go on and kick back. Steal my brother's video games if you want, or use mine. Read, write, eat, drink, be merry."

"Then I'll be getting out now," she stood up, making sure her towel was secure before she bowed formally.

"Geez. If she wasn't so relaxed about being so polite, I'd tell her to chill out," Yuu remarked.

**1:35 AM**

The mini-celebration after the hot spring had long since broken up. A couple hours' worth of relaxing pockmarked with a good supply of snacks and saké had let them unwind, with Kazuki taking his leave just shy of midnight, at the receiving end of much ribbing from Yuu.

She'd finished off the saké with Aya, finally getting the shy girl to open up, and they'd spent most of the night simply being girly. Talking about dresses, manga, and even sharing places to shop—Aya seemed particularly interested in Vandalize. It wasn't long before Aya was taken in enough by the combination of the hot spring and the sake before she was sound asleep, her yukata loose over the contours of her body.

_Lightweight,_ Yuu thought with a wry grin as she tentatively stood up, tightening the sash on her yukata. The robe-like garment was warm enough for the ryokan, but only because it was heated for the winter.

_I used to walk around in these during the summer, when it was too perfect out to leave the air conditioning on,_ she thought, gingerly heading for the rice-paper door that led out to the small deck overlooking the ryokan's rock garden.

She bunched herself up against the cold night, sliding the door shut quietly as she sat on the edge of the deck. The rock garden was typical Japanese, like a miniaturized forest. It was as quiet as it ever got, the cicadas present during the summer long since deep in hibernation.

_After tonight, we go back to Tokyo,_ she thought, taking a small sip from the tiny cup of warm saké that she had brought along. _We go back to our lives and the upcoming ComiPa. For all this time we've spent together, I want to have something to show for it. I want to be with him..._

_I don't want to lose him..._

_I don't want to be hated for that, though..._

Her breath formed a tiny cloud of fog as she sighed, already feeling warm from the effects of the saké. Her foot was feeling a little better as she twirled it around, the sandals she wore dangling playfully from her toes.

_If I don't do anything, I'll have lost my best chance. If I make a move, I stand to lose him._

Yuu already felt the butterflies in her stomach start to get a little more erratic, no thanks to the saké. _It's come down to this again. I worked hard to get into this position. I can't just let him go so easily. _

_I wonder if he's sleeping..._

The guest rooms were all located next to each other, and each was set up in the same way; connected by the hall on the inside and the deck on the outside. Yuu made her way next door, her sandals quietly flapping as she walked lightly, both for stealthiness and her swollen ankle. She gently knocked on the cedar frames of the rice paper door. "Kazuki?" she whispered. "Are you awake?"

There was no answer, just the sound of light breathing.

"I'm coming in," Yuu whispered, mostly for her own benefit. She slid the door aside, just enough to walk through sideways, stepping out of the sandals as she entered his room. His duffel bag was open and his school uniform was hanging in the open closet, but aside from that, the room was cleanly kept. He was sleeping, mouth open slightly as he breathed; his right hand dangled over his stomach and his left was under his pillow, propping his head up gently.

_He looks so comfortable,_ she thought, sitting down on her knees next to him, smiling softly. The moon was up at such an angle that the room was lit with the grid-like pattern of the shoji door, casting a pale light on Kazuki. Yuu's shadow blended nicely with it.

_I want to sketch this scene..._ she thought, shifting position as her ankle started to ache from the angle at which she sat. She propped herself up on her hands, stretching her legs so that she was parallel to Kazuki's sleeping form. _I want to be able to remember this as something special between you and I. Even if nothing ever comes from this, even if we end up as something wonderful together... I want us to start from here. I want everything to start here between you and I..._

Almost as if he had heard her thoughts, Kazuki rustled a little in his sleep, shifting his weight towards his left side, facing Yuu just a little more.

She sighed, curling up and rolling onto her right side. She propped her chin up in her right hand, just watching him sleep for the moment.

_I don't want this to be the last time we're like this, but... what do I do? Wake him? Crawl into his futon? Just watch him sleep? Uch, this is way too creepy already. I don't want to be Kazuki's stalker. Do I kiss him?_

_Kiss him..._

She blinked, not quite sure how to react to the fact that the thought of kissing him really kicked the butterflies into high gear.

_You're not thinking straight. Come on. Kissing him while he's asleep? That's so overdone, so unfulfilling. It's like sneaking up on him. He'll never even know anything. It's just something for you and you alone. Besides, you were drinking. You're not entirely yourself. Come on. You can think of better. He's asleep. You're tipsy. Get it through your head._

_But if I can think of better... why is my heart beating so fast? Why do I feel so nervous?_

Yuu felt her cheeks flush even more than from the alcohol. She swallowed, hoping that the noise wouldn't wake him, but knowing that it wouldn't anyway.

_I really could if I wanted to, though... maybe it's for the best..._

_If he's going to make his own decision in due time, then it's definitely for the best. Maybe I'm just being greedy, wanting him to wake up and suddenly embrace me. _

_Maybe I'm delaying the inevitable? Maybe it's just one other direction that isn't going to happen, or maybe it's just the first kiss of many. _

_How I want it to be the first kiss of many..._

_But think about it. Isn't it better to have one kiss than none at all? Is it really Yuu Inagawa's way to see the world for anything other than what it is? _

_Yeah, I see the world for what it is. I do that pretty well. But this is one time when I want the world to be different..._

Yuu turned around to sit on her knees again at an angle that her ankle wouldn't protest. She took a deep breath, exhaling gently as not to wake Kazuki.

_I see how it is. I see that he and Mizuki have known each other forever and how I've only known him since this past spring._

_Maybe I have a chance... but maybe I don't... and maybe this is my last opportunity._

She reached out a hand, lightly brushing an errant hair off of his forehead, then propping it flat on his futon.

_You see what you've done to me, Kazuki? I swear, if you wake up... well, maybe I want you to wake up._

She lowered herself a few inches, shifting her legs to rest again on her side.

_I want you to look at me and smile. Not because it's me, but because you want me in your life as much as I want you in mine._

Yuu felt him breathe rhythmically, his breaths creating a gentle wind that she could feel on her neck. She shivered at the thought and sensation.

_I want you to hold my hand. I want to fall asleep with you. I want to make love to you. I want you to be happy._

Above all things, I want you to be happy... with or without me, with or without Mizuki... so just allow me my own happiness for this one moment.

Yuu didn't even worry about waking him up. She slowly leaned forward, shuffling a little more towards him as she stretched her neck out, and lightly, tentatively touched her lips to his as she closed her eyes. His breathing didn't change, and she gently touched his cheek as she began to press a little more firmly.

She held the kiss for a moment, simply savoring the surprisingly smooth texture of his lips. He moved his lips slightly as she pulled away, as if he was subconsciously returning the kiss, but he was still sleeping soundly. Her heart had kicked up rapidly, almost making her feel light-headed. Motivated by the unfamiliar, tinglingly giddy feeling in her neck and shoulders, she touched her lips with her fingers as if to make sure they were still there.

Yuu was blushing more than she ever had in her life, her chocolate-brown eyes starting to take on a teary sheen.

"I meant it when I said I loved you," she whispered. "If loving you means seeing you happy with someone else, then I'll be fine with that. Maybe I'll move on one day, but for now, there's deeper water running where someone might normally be shallow."

Yuu sighed, leaning in to kiss him once more. Her heart still beat swiftly, and she still felt as if her upper body was going to take flight, but all she could feel was Kazuki's lips against hers and his gentle breathing in the dark. She could see him with her eyes closed just as easily, and as she felt an electrical tingle travel down her back, making her shudder, she pulled back just enough to breathe.

"Good night, Kazuki," she whispered simply, standing back up, wary of her ankle. As she turned towards the door, she cast one look back at him, simply smiling.

_If it gets any better than this, I'll wait for you,_ she thought. _You're worth it, and you're worth the happiness. I would hate to have to lose you, but... when what I want is for you to be happy, it'd be worth it._

**February 14th  
****Tokyo Big Sight  
****Odaiba, Tokyo  
****8:55 AM**

Kazuki helped Chisa lift the box filled with their dojinshi up onto the table. It was a good thing, too; this was the fifth of five boxes, fifty copies each box.

"Thanks again, Chisa," Kazuki leaned on the table, wiping a few beads of sweat from his brow. "If there weren't four of us, this'd tie you up forever."

"Chisa would happily unload them on her own." Chisa grinned and clasped her hands together, stretching them over her head. "Your team-up work is really something that Chisa hasn't yet seen before in dojinshi."

"Team efforts go a long way in this business, Chisa-chan," Yuu remarked, sliding up and throwing a harisen-bearing arm around Kazuki's neck. "You just gotta delegate everything to the right people and balance your talents, isn't that right, Kazuki?"

"Yuu, you're choking me!" Kazuki managed to eke out.

"Sure, sure," she sighed, letting go of him and tapping the boxes of dojinshi with her harisen. "I hope this wasn't too much of a burden for the shop, Chisa."

"Chisa was under no burden whatsoever, Inagawa-sempai!" Chisa shook her head, her pink ribbons undulating with her motions. "Oh! By the way, Kazuki-sempai, if you have a moment..."

"Huh?" Kazuki asked, peering over the small girl as she shuffled around an open box on her cart full of deliveries.

"Here!" she squeaked out, bearing a small red box tied with a white ribbon. "It isn't much, but I hope you'll accept this chocolate for the holiday."

She held out the box, blushing slightly and smiling nervously.

"Aw, c'mon, Kazuki, how can you refuse something that cute?" Yuu teased, poking him with the harisen. "Go on, be a gentleman and say 'thank you!'"

"I don't need etiquette coaching," Kazuki growled at Yuu. "Chisa-chan, you didn't have to go through all this trouble for me..." he blustered a little more politely than the growl.

"It's no trouble at all, Kazuki-sempai," Chisa shook her head again. "Chisa just wanted to thank you for doing so much for me since she got the chance to meet you and do your printing." She held the chocolate out tentatively.

"Thank you so much, Chisa-chan," Kazuki smiled as he accepted the chocolate, unwrapping the box. It was a broad, thin heart-shape, obviously from a mold, but it had a rich, chocolatey scent to it.

"I hope you enjoy it," Chisa bowed politely. "Chisa has to make other deliveries, but she'll be sure to stop back to buy a copy of your dojinshi!"

"I'll be sure to save you a copy," Kazuki promised.

"You owe her big for that one, Kazuki," Yuu ribbed as Chisa dashed off, in control of her cart for once. "I remember running into her at the school kitchens, kicking up a real mess trying to make that chocolate for you."

"Geez..." Kazuki broke off a piece of the chocolate and tasted it. "This is really good."

"You're acting like you never got chocolate before!" Yuu scoffed.

"Well, not since a few minutes ago..." Kazuki trailed off, blushing slightly.

"Hey, I wanted to thank you for everything, too," she said, glancing at the white box that rested on a corner of the three joined tables. "Besides, I wanted to sorta keep everything... well... you know, the way things normally end up when people get together..."

An awkward silence fell between the two of them amongst the din of the convention hall. Yuu looked at Kazuki just as he turned to look at her, and just as quickly as their eyes met, they turned away, blushing.

"I'm still not used to this," they said at the same time.

Yuu was the first to laugh. "Sorry about that," she said with a smile, turning back to the table to set down a small stack of their dojinshi next to some older Karamitei releases. "I guess we have a lot of turf to cover."

"Hey, you covered plenty of turf before I was even aware of it," Kazuki shot back with a smile equal to Yuu's. "I only wish you'd just come out and said something sooner."

This elicited another rare blush from Yuu. "Well, I was worried... I kept telling myself, 'if you mess this up, he's never going to want to speak to you again, he'll never see you the same way,' and I—"

"But that's the point, isn't it?" Kazuki asked introspectively. "I mean... well... we see each other differently now, right?"

"Yeah..." Yuu looked off to the side, then steeled her gaze and nodded confidently. "Yeah. We _do_ see each other differently now, and I'm glad." She nodded again, looking up at Kazuki and smiling gently, looking at him with a different, more open gaze.

_We **do** see each other differently now. Not just as friends, but... as something more_

A familiar, giddy shiver tingled from the small of her back.

Kazuki made a final check on the table as Aya walked up, bearing three bottles of iced oolong tea. "I'm sorry, but they didn't have any green tea," she demurely explained, handing out the bottles of tea.

"It's okay," Yuu grinned in reply. "Today just felt like a green tea kind of day. No biggie."

Yuu handed Kazuki a bottle, taking a moment to let his fingers brush against hers. This time, when their eyes met, they grinned, cheeks slightly flushed.

_He doesn't know how happy I am..._

_"**... and that's the entire truth of it all, Kazuki. I couldn't hold back the way I feel anymore," she said, lowering her head to look at the carefully-wrapped chocolate, her hands tightening their grip around the box.**_

_"**Yuu..." Kazuki blinked. "I... I mean, I didn't think that you even—"**_

_"**It just happened..." Yuu took a deep breath, trying to force away the fight-or-flight tension that rose throughout her shoulders. She calmed down enough to stop desperately clutching the chocolate that she was demurely holding out. **_

_"**I can't help it. All the time we've spent together really means something to me. YOU mean something to me. I feel my heart beating when you open up like you do, when who you are shines through. It makes me feel special... and I want to be able to make you feel the same way..." **_

_**Kazuki looked down, just as Yuu was, but as she glanced up at him, she could see that he was blushing as intensely as she was. **_

_"**I've... I don't know, I've never gone out with anyone before... I've never really been in this situation..." **_

_"**Neither have I," she shook her head. "But... I wanted to know if you would go out with me. Be more than friends with me. I want to be with you, Kazuki." **_

_**Kazuki slowly looked up, meeting Yuu's dark brown eyes with his gaze. **_

_"**I've... never really thought about it before," he said after a moment's thought. "But... when I do, it kinda feels... I don't know..." **_

_**He held a hand over his heart tentatively. "I guess... I mean, I don't GUESS, but... it feels... it feels exciting, it feels good... kinda electrical..." **_

_"**... I know how you feel, Kazuki. I feel the same way." **_

_**He didn't say another word; he merely accepted the chocolates, his fingertips touching Yuu's as he reached out towards her.**_

The PA system of the convention hall played out a three-tone chime, most likely Minami announcing the start of the convention. Aya turned to unlock their cash box, and when she wasn't looking , Yuu took an opportunity, standing on her toes to give Kazuki a quick kiss on the cheek as he looked up at the nearest loudspeaker.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Minami's friendly, familiar voice echoed throughout Tokyo Big Sight. Kazuki turned to Yuu's smiling face and squeezed her hand under the table. "The third semi-annual Comic Party is now open to the public!"

**To be concluded...**


	12. Thank You

**A/N:** This is it, ladies and gentlemen. The end of Deeper Water. This has been one of my favorite works that I've ever written out of... oh man, almost nine years' worth of writing. From crap at 14 to journalistic pieces at 16 to professionally-done poems at 20 and finally fiction at 22, I think that I've really been able to make this story exactly what I wanted it to be. It took a lot of time to write, but every moment writing this story made me feel so very alive, like I was really enjoying myself. ComiPa is not just a story about dojinshi... it is a story that speaks to all creative people.

I owe some thanks.

First off, thank you to King of Blades, Di-Gi Nyo, Cendrillo, Kei-kun, Romei, Hiromichi Mori, Purplae Dragoon, Tuan Andril/Tuanoftheworld, Ayhac, Daniel Shinigami, Sumiyoshi, and Zefrn. You all took the time to read my story and leave a review, and you have no clue how each and every review you left was so wonderful to me. An author thrives off of feedback, and your feedback and help has been invaluable. Moreover, it's good to know that people like what I have to offer.

Most importantly, a big thank you to Cendrillo and Marivel, my beta readers for the story. Every writer makes mistakes, typos, and errors, and I am no exception. Their criticism and attention to detail has been the sharpening to the story that I needed. Immense thanks go out to you both.

Finally, I want to thank you, the reader, for coming this far. It means you care about the characters and want to see more ComiPa. If you liked the ending, I'm glad. If not, I hope that my story serves as a challenge. I hope that you can prove me wrong in my pairing by writing a story that places Kazuki with anyone... Eimi, Chisa, anything. I hope you can something that makes me think "This person did it better, and I'm glad I got the chance to read it."

All along, I wrote ComiPa fanfic because nobody else did. I hoped nothing more than to be able to read someone else's interpretation. Now, the category is slowly growing. I hope that if you love ComiPa enough to write for it, you will put it here. I will forever offer my services as a beta reader, coach, tutor, anything to get your story off the ground and on ff dot net. I hope I get to see the breadth and width of all the talents out there in the world.

So for the last time in Deeper Water... on with the show!

* * *

_11: Thank You_

* * *

**December 31st  
****Kobe**

The singer wiped the sweat off of his brow, then set the mic back in its stand. "We're gonna take a break," he announced. "Chill out for a few minutes. We'll be back."

The crowd cheered as if he'd promised everyone five thousand yen each. Yuu applauded along with them, actually having enjoyed the music, even if some of the translations had been off. _The bad English might work in their favor, though,_ she thought, taking another sip of her drink. _Seems to work on the fangirls._

Eimi sighed as the band walked off the cramped stage, making their way through a small cluster of the audience to the backstage. "Wow..." she sighed, giddy as a schoolgirl could ever get. "Hey, panda, how come you never showed me this place?"

Yuu shrugged. "I didn't come here too often before I left for Tokyo. The scene wasn't really big for me, but they're open late, and you know as well as I do that dojinshi requires late hours."

"So true, so true," Eimi finished off her club soda as she stepped off the bar stool.

"Looking for the little boys' room?" Yuu grinned evilly, tossing her head over her left shoulder. "It's over there."

"Stupid panda," Eimi growled, balling her hands into fists and mumbling angry words as she tromped off to the restrooms.

"Some things really never change," Yuu said to herself, shaking her head.

A torrent of appreciative words and sighs swelled in volume as Yuu turned back to her G&T. She kept hearing "That was so great, Imadori-kun!" and other fangirl-squealed lines coming up behind her.

_Ah, and here comes the blonde all-star himself._

The bar stool next to Yuu squeaked as the skinny bleached-blonde lead singer sat down next to her, much to the adoring sighs of several girls that stood behind him. "The usual, Tetsu-chan," he joked with the bartender, his voice a little bit strained to a high pitch from singing.

"I'll Tetsu–chan you," the bartender shot back with a chuckle, sliding the singer a highball of Scotch on the rocks.

He accepted the glass with a nod, sipping at the Johnnie Walker Black thoughtfully.

"Expensive tastes, huh," Yuu remarked into her drink.

The singer turned to her. "It's part of our fee," he replied. "One shot of this stuff is worth about one-third of what Tetsu's paying us for tonight's gig," he grinned.

"I guess it's worth it." Yuu sipped at her G&T, the mellow bitterness of the Bombay Sapphirerounded out by the tartness of thelemon. "It's not my thing, but you guys seem pretty good."

"Not your thing?" The singer spun around in his bar stool, leaning back against the bar itself. He twirled his glass, the thick, dark brown liquor coating the sides before rolling back down. "Then what're you doing here?"

"Trying to ditch my friend," Yuu looked at him through the corner of her eyes. He was regarding her, not trying to avoid her glance, with a curiously neutral expression. "She's really annoying and doesn't leave me alone."

_Stop playing the disinterested card, you poser. I'm not falling for that "I'm so cute and you want me" act._

He failed to take the hint. "Sounds pretty rough. I haven't seen you around here before..."

"I used to live around here, but I moved to Tokyo." Yuu cupped her hands around her highball glass, cooling them off from the heat of the club.

_I should just ignore him, make up an excuse, and leave that stupid Eimi behind. She thought he was cute. I'll let him-_

"Oh, I'm Imadori, by the way. Ryosuke Imadori." He finally let a grin slip, albeit a sideways one, in Yuu's direction.

"Yuu Inagawa."

"So what're you doing in here from Tokyo?" Ryosuke asked before taking another sip of his Walker.

"I'm just home for New Year's. My parents had some guests at our ryokan. I kinda got drafted into helping take care of them."

"Your friend?"

"Don't abuse the phrase. She's a friend to me like the Soviets were friends to the rest of the world."

"You must really not like her."

"We've got our differences."

"Sorry if I'm intruding."

"Y'know, I'm-" Yuu turned around, ready to tell him to mind his own business and leave her alone. Just as she prepared to unleash a Kansai fury upon him, he was scribbling something on the inside of his left arm.

"Give me a sec," he said before she could ask him anything. "I just got an idea."

"Idea for what?" Just in case she was being drawn into a clever trap, she got ready to summon her harisen. Just in case.

"Fingerings," he mumbled, drawing six lines down his forearm and drawing dots on each of them. "Chord fingerings for closed D tuning. We haven't been able to get the riffs right in 'Careless Memories' and Shinichi's just taken over on guitar. I used to be great at this."

"So you're writing it on your arm," Yuu replied flatly. "Real permanent."

"Hey, lighten up." Ryosuke didn't even look up, drawing out finger placement. "Getting fingerings isn't easy. Price we pay, y'know?"

"Yeah. Local bands with screaming fans have it so hard. I'm sure that-"

Yuu's dismissal was cut short as she was literally pulled off of the bar stool in the midst of setting down her drink.

"I'll never forgive you for this, panda!" Eimi hissed, fire in her bright green eyes.

"Hey, you can have him as far as I'm concerned," Yuu shrugged. "I'm sure if you're attracted to it, it's bad for Yuu Inagawa."

Eimi narrowed her eyes, growling angrily, before sliding next to Ryosuke, batting her eyes bashfully, and shifting from a growl to a quiet, adoring sigh.

Despite Yuu turning her attention firmly away from Ryosuke and Eimi turning her best assets firmly towards him, he held his arm across the bar, twisting it a little bit experimentally. "Does this look melodic enough for 3/4ths time for you?" he asked, grinning.

"Like I know and like I care," the flat response came back.

"Oh, don't even try to work with the panda," Eimi interjected with a laugh. "She trails behind in everything from art to life itself; it's so hard for her to draw with those claws!"

"Draw?" Ryosuke raised an eyebrow.

"Eimi Obaka over there envisions herself as the Queen of ComiPa, the big dojinshi convention up in Tokyo," Yuu tossed back the rest of her drink, not really wanting to talk but unwilling to pass off a shot across Eimi's bows. "'course, she still doesn't know her multiplication tables."

"So you do get it." The singer smiled, setting aside the felt-tip arm marker. He flexed his forearm experimentally, rippling a quarter-note under the vestiges of a lower bicep. "That makes me glad, in a sort of self-inflicting pain kind of way."

"Self-inflicted gladness?" Yuu sighed. "You're full of interesting lyrics, aren't you?"

"Oh, and you don't try to do new and original things in your dojinshi?"

"You want to know what I try to do?" Yuu's grip tightened around her highball glass, slamming the gin & tonic down with a hollow thunk. "I try to relax when I'm home for the first time in months and stuck with the biggest egomaniac this side of the Tokugawa shogunate. I try to deal with some things that I've had billowing up within me forever. I try to figure out my own feelings for someone I really, really like, and I don't need someone like you hitting on me when I'm trying to get a little drunk!"

Ryosuke wasn't as fazed as Eimi was; he didn't even seem to notice the green-haired girl hiding behind his arm. She had taken the opportunity to take hold of it at the elbow, too, but he didn't even seem to notice.

"So you try to create something from the base of your emotions," he replied calmly, the smile on his face tilted up at the corner. Sarcasm, Yuu thought. This prick is mocking me.

"So what if I do?"

"Then is there any real difference between you sorting out your feelings to express yourself and me doing the same thing?"

"I'm leaving."

She was off the bar stool and five stomps towards the door when the background noise in the bar was pierced.

"Then why not really express yourself?"

Yuu was deceptively strong. Years of wrestling a little brother and carrying trays of tea and meals to ryokan guests had given her some tone. Even though she hadn't really done much since being deskbound in Tokyo for so long, she was still wiry enough to grab Ryosuke by the collar of his torn-sleeve flannel shirt and heft him off the stool and onto the floor.

"You probably don't have a clue, do you?" Yuu almost growled, seeing her bespectacled reflection in his light brown eyes, sparkling with something she couldn't recognize. "You cocky little bastard."

"Just because I see what I want and I pursue it in my expressions makes me cocky?" He shrugged, a difficult task with the pulling on his collar. "When we express ourselves, it's not for something that has no reason, that's for sure. Art, music, writing... I do what I do for a love of the music. You must draw dojinshi for a similar love."

She held him fast by the collar, trying desperately not to show any emotion in her face.

"He's lucky, whoever he is," Ryosuke continued. "I'd say I'm jealous, but I guess I can express it some other way."

"So you're greedy and cocky?" Yuu let him down, and he straightened his collar out with a flourish. She shook her head, her two ponytails tickling her neck.

As she looked up at Ryosuke, she caught his eyes moving upwards. Scoping me out, huh?

"It's a shame that you're from Tokyo," he said with a noncommittal shrug. "Just a shame."

"I'll tell you the shame here," she grinned wryly, a familiar spark in her eye.

* * *

"I can't believe you got us thrown out of the club, you stupid panda!" Eimi snarled, stomping behind Yuu as they reluctantly went up the steps to street level.

"What can I say? They didn't post any sort of concealed weapons policy at all," Yuu rebuted, her trusty harisen slung over her shoulder like a triumphant batter. "You're just jealous that I was the one who got to hit him, aren't you?"

"I am NOT jealous!" Eimi steamed.

Yuu stuck her hands in the pockets of her coat, keeping them warm from the falling snow.

* * *

**_"The shame is that I DO express myself in a visible way," she had said as she drew the paper fan seemingly out of nowhere. "I express myself through my art AND through who I am. Not only do I hide behind it, like camouflage, I fly it proudly like a banner. It's there, and so am I, so when I finally get to tell Kazuki how I feel... not only will he know it..."_**

**_She wound up with a two-handed grip, taking a step back for a little more power, just as Ryosuke's eyes went wide from the sudden appearance of a deadly-looking paper fan._**

**_"He'll FEEL it, too!"_**

* * *

"Stupid, stupid panda."

"Hey, sorry you couldn't get your cute singer guy."

"You SHOULD be sorry! The great Eimi Oba deserves nothing less than the very best for producing nothing but the-"

Eimi was cut short as a steaming hot roast sweet potato was jammed into her face.

"IT'S HOOOOT!"

"There, I'm making it up to you," Yuu laughed, tossing the hot potato from one ungloved hand to another, letting the searing head quickly heat her hands in the cold winter night. Despite the skirt, she barely felt cold, and a bite of the sweet, brownish-yellow flesh of the potato quickly warmed her stomach, already rumbling a little from the alcohol.

"A one hundred-yen potato doesn't nearly make up for it, panda," Eimi grumbled before taking a bite of the potato.

"It's good, isn't it?"

Eimi was silent, gazing intently at the potato as she took another bite.

"I knew it."

"Shut up, panda."

The snow that had hung like a question mark in the air floated down, soaking up sound in the way that only snow could. A few people were on the streets, walking around, laughing, talking, even stopping at some of the Shinto shrines that were wedged between buildings to pray on their way to wherever.

"Oh, it's almost midnight," Yuu took note of the time on a bank clock. "C'mon, Eimi Obaka, let's go to the shrine and pray. It's a new year, after all."

"To think that I'd have to spend the new year with the panda girl..." Eimi moaned.

Yuu rolled her eyes. "You're a child and always have been, you know that?" When she looked back at Eimi, her green eyes weren't as angry as they were a moment ago.

"Fine," Eimi haughtily replied, dauntily slapping a hand to her chest. "If you're so desperate for companionship, I suppose it wouldn't be beneath me to take the panda out for walkies."

The harisen slap echoed down Sakigawa-chome, followed by a protest from its victim. Snow fell on Kobe just before the Buddhist temples tolled 108 times for the new year, and just as the tail end of the snow shower passed over Kobe, it began to fall just as gently on the streets of Tokyo.

**The End**


End file.
